—I’ve been asked to baptise the King of Spain’s daughter —Infanta? —No, holy water as usual. Weird thing to ask honestly

This is the most lib take I've ever had, but there's no real downside if, with a lot of money and free time next year, native South Carolinian Stephen Colbert ran against Lindsey Graham.

Former President Bill Clinton says that 33-year-old Zohran Mamdani doesn't have enough experience sexually assaulting women to be NYC mayor.

I just backed The Twisted Spine - NYC's Horror Bookstore and Café on @kickstarter.com www.kickstarter.com/projects/twi...

And that includes the families 🤣😂

Crockett: Instead of the President cosplaying as the next pope, he may want to cosplay as an actual President of these United States. That means he may have to do a little bit of research and understand that he swore a an oath to defend and protect the constitution.

"Oh cool what is it about?"

This is your regular reminder that executive orders are not royal decrees. Because America has no king.

Pete Hegseth is a pretty despicable human being, on top of the other, many deficits he brought to the Pentagon But you should be even madder at the 50 senators who knew Hegseth was an alcoholic, a serial abuser of women, and a poser massively unqualified for the post and yet voted for him anyway

As bad as rest of the market is doing, Tesla is crashing twice as fast.

Oh myyy 😂

Huh, weird

MOTHERFUCKER.

Gen X, finally roused from its ideological torpor, gathers outside the White House. the police are called, the fire hoses are turned on them but they start drinking it and only get stronger

YouTube’s play button doing the lord’s work

I'm so obsessed with this goddamn cookie

Pretty close to the Ides of March for the senate to be acting like there's nothing they can do

The financial headlines are brutal right now. It’s almost like the experts are shocked that a six-times bankrupt reality TV show host was elected president and is running the United States economy straight into a ditch.

Can’t believe Twitter keeps crashing despite Elon hiring the best 19-year-old interns that racism has to offer

I got your waste, fraud, and abuse right here

Well, this is awesome.

How the worm has turned. (I'll see myself out.)

Today's card.

found on r/me_irlgbt, seemed relevant. stay strong. i love you all.

Mark Zuckerberg, Recipient of World's First Rat Penis Transplant, Announces Meta Will Stop Fact Checking thehardtimes.net/culture/mark...

Really feel bad for that rat.

Humble beginnings.

Never forget.

Okay one more. I love this energy from the young Dems.

I have memed my existence

Another one I share whenever I see it.

thinking about 2025 in the year 2000: I hope we have flying cars and take vacations to mars thinking about 2025 now: I hope we have electricity and the children survive the polio

can't they just put their execs in glass cases that you have to get an employee to open for you

I just think the next step is for some linguists at another university to do their own lip synch or cover of this song, any takers?

Happy National Tuxedo Cat Day to my very handsome boy. #nationaltuxedocatday

a ruthless predator, alligators will sometimes use jazz hands to lure musical theatre people to their deaths

roses are red I eat profiteroles

Some exciting personal news: I've just wedged myself into the small gap behind the dishwasher for reasons unclear even to me

Me vs. November 2024

I have muted the name of that man who's orange for which you were probably telling me updates Forgive me he’s so atrocious I'm tired and so mad

I mean, he is a fuckin' pedo.

Here's my story about self care and a sentient fungal infestation, courtesy of Taco Bell Quarterly. tacobellquarterly.org/5-tips-for-a...

All hail, Artemisia Gentileschi.