The jaunty "dong diddly donk" TikTok sting at the end is hilariously timed.

"Hello Dragons. My name is Keith Dragon and i'm here looking for a £50,000 investment in my company Dragon's Dragons. We make inflatable dragons for kids parties and the like and we make a reasonable living out of it, but we'd like a Dragon on board so we can say 'as seen on Dragons Den', isn't it?"

I bet it does. I'd much rather drink hot chocolate.

Due to a series of unfortunate events*, at least one of which might** be my own fault, I have found myself using the Trainline app to buy and use a ticket to Woohoo Swindon. @jakeyapp.bsky.social's Cassandra-esque abilities should be studies for science. *not a funeral though ** basically, entirely

Good on Penn Jillette. Having to come to terms with your entire political identity and philosophy being wrong is not easy and most people could never do it.

if you get bit by a bat that's on ecstacy you contract ravies

Had a memory pop up of this Christmas TV Drinking Game. Put a santa hat on the corner of thw TV, every time someone wears it, DRINK!

I fucking love memes you can understand through the language barrier, holy shit

You can buy 'The Researcher's First Murder' by John Finnemore directly from him (he's had to pay for a storage unit to keep them all in). Unbound made sure it couldn't sell last Christmas, let's make it a hit for this one: johnfinnemoreshop.com/shop

Tom Cox, as well as selling his record collection, is now with Swift Press and you can get his books from Blackwell's: blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/pro...

We should put together a list of books you can buy this Christmas from authors who were robbed and had their careers sabotaged* by Unbound. (*What makes me forever angry is that it's about so much more than money. You'd think people who read would be better at empathy and understanding.)

"Completely unacceptable language buddy" youtube.com/watch?v=HjyF... Unrelated, really looking forward to my train trip from Bristol to Norwich on Monday, complete with time-limited schlep across the tubeses 👍

This has found its way onto Instagram “credit unknown”. So, giving the original another push… because it’s Christmas.

Watched a delightful nativity today and it reminded me of the time I directed one early in my career. I wanted 'Mary' to react in shock to 'Gabriel' and foolishly told her to react like a mum would - cue angel appearing and the six-year-old Mary yelling, "F*cking Hell!" at the top of her voice.

COMFORT BLANKET KLAXON! Map Man jayforeman.bsky.social talks about his love for Cosgrove Hall’s vegetarian vampire… COUNT DUCKULA and takes time to praise the whole delightful world of teatime ITV… pod.link/1614879928/e...

Xmas rappin’

For the quiet ones #mentalhealth #anxiety #ADHD #autism #neurodiversity uk.bookshop.org/p/books/norm...

i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse

Handbag

think I've finally sussed how this whole AI industry works, lads.

Sexed up reboot of Ghostwatch on the way.

“Get out of my fucking seat.”

It's Friday night guys, for god's sake let your hair down a little and buy a jigsaw

Country Spouse by The Shirehorses is the definitive version, though. #totp

Tomorrow, someone is going to get their hands on the #saabmarine FOR FREE! The #hubnuttreasurehunt commences later today as I make my way towards a county in England... Latest video has more info!

Just a little reminder that "draw a bicycle" is one of the tests for dementia.

You can now sign up for my detective-story podcast via the below avenues. I'll be delighted if you do that. It's full of talented people. I'm hoping to prove you can build something like this on @bsky.app like we did in the old country.

Look at this tempting beauty sparkling in the sunshine. She has a few quirks..BUT she will be (one of) yours on Saturday. Keep the diaries clear and join in on a little Hubnuttery - More information on 'how to own the Saabmarine' tonight at 6pm on @hubnut.bsky.social channel.

Since we are once again dealing with "the only silent era comedians of note were men" I feel I need to stand up for the ladies. Marion Davies!

Ahhh, thank you so much! A whole 'Ford Focus Full Of Psychics Driving Round Haunted Bits Of Rubbish Britain' trilogy in 3 days is REALLY fast going, too!

NEW COMFORT BLANKET! Exclusively for paid Substack subscribers. Jay Foreman (Map Men) returns to talk cartoons once more, and celebrates Cosgrove Hall’s vegetarian vampire COUNT DUCKULA! substack.com/home/post/p-...

Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy — if a British cow ever got the chance, it’d eat you and everyone you care about

Let's GOOOOO! Factual sketch comedy, for families! Made by the team behind YDTM plus great comedy sketch writers & performers! Out this Christmas on R4 (3eps) & Sounds (15eps) It's Ya Gal's 1st production credit! You're in for a good time, comedy fans! www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/...

HERE! WE! FUCKING! GO! I have been making this show for TWO YEARS, it's finally going out this Christmas, Baby's First Production Credit is gonna be on R4 over the Radio Times Double Issue Window, baybeh! www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/...

Baby, Sporty, Ginger, Scary, and "what did I come in here for?" x

American politics ✨

[bursts in panting covered in Sharpie]

"Animal names that sound like a Profanisaurus entry" No. 1,347

type for books used to be set using little metal letters built into words in racks and then inked and pressed on to paper. If you had stock phrases you wanted to reuse a lot you could make a cast of them called a ‘stereotype’. The sound of them *clicking* into place, in French, is ‘cliché’

I am restarting my podcast, 'Not Today, Thank You' tomorrow. Well, midnight tonight. Eckhart Tolle gonna make you holler, Greedy Pigs In Space, & a book recommendation (Paradox Lost by @vrling.bsky.social , if you can't be arsed to listen) If you CAN be arsed, subscribe: podnews.net/podcast/i6vne

I often see people saying we have to be careful about using the term evil. But fuck it, if you support a policy that brings potential harm to a vulnerable minority or just makes their everyday life extremely difficult I'm going to call it how I see it. It's YOU that needs to take a look at yourself.

I don't use the word lightly, but this is really just evil isn't it. "Your identity makes us uncomfortable so be gone from public spaces." Fuck off.

Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow

NEW! #FirstLastAnything ep 33: Stand-up and novelist Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian.bsky.social) joins me this week to talk about how music helped to inspire his crafts of writing and performing. Plus his first, last and wildcard purchases! Join us! firstlastanything.co.uk/2025/11/16/f...