Nature is healing

Candle play? You mean wax on whacks off?

Saw a Bronto Skylift tonight lads 🦕

Happy Bi Visibility Day to my fellow halfgays. Here I am holding the Bi Scotland banner at Pride Scotia in 2004

oh

My handwriting may be shit but at least my typing is shit

Started watching this with the sound off and you can see Toyah’s lisp ♥️

I hope it happens while he is on the toilet and I hope it’s soon

Get on board with this, it’s going to be great!

Me on my way to the rapture

Glasgow has always been mad about country music. Some nice footage of the Opry and Tuts here. Sadly though, no footage of the singular experience that is a normal night out at the Opry: bingo, toasties and guns.

Happy birthday to Dave Gregory, this guitar solo is life

Hope you’re all having a lovely Sunday, I just saw a man in Glasgow city centre with a pram full of rabbits 🐇

Popped into the Hospital Broadcasting Service yesterday as part of Doors Open Day. Shout out to the little boy in my tour group who spent the whole time begging all the studio staff (including on live radio) to let him sing the song he had written about chicken nuggets

Many people think that the sound at the beginning of ‘Dance Away’ is Bryan Ferry lighting a cigarette, but he was actually just undoing the velcro on his little trainers

magical christmas

Saturday

dubai chocolate sick of hearing about it have a twix, you wank

True story: I once spotted Pete Sinfield on OKCupid. 'Are you Pete Sinfield?' 'Yes, I believe I am he.' The most prog lyricist response to a message on a dating site ever. Anyway, I'm glad I got to tell him that Rain or Shine was my first favourite song. #totp

It's Sarah Jane Morris's world, we just live in it #totp

Must have been Comic Relief week #totp

way too much fun #totp

I've muted Vindaloo to preserve my 'never heard it in its entirety' streak #totp

'Life' famously includes one of the worst lyrics in pop history, but I still find it less annoying than 'You Gotta Be', a song that infuriates me to the point of throwing things #totp

I wonder how many people who bought the England United single have recently painted a roundabout #totp

I will never forget Kenickie on The O-Zone talking about when Ian McCulloch invited them to be on this. 'Hop off, Bunnyman' #totp

It's no Snooker Loopy, is it? #totp

Delighted to announce that one of my songs now has its very first REACTION VIDEO. This must be what it feels like to be Phil Collins

I have to flush mine down with domestos daily!! Bloody Pest!

got bored. made the test card clown

I have acquired a taste for Stop'n Grow

Before I went to bed last night I heard a suspicious bang in my flat. Went around every room looking for the source of the sound, nothing. Just opened the fridge to discover that a can of diet coke has exploded, coating everything in syrup and ice. What a fun start to the day!

I think about this stuff a lot. What was the total volume of my bogies?

Featuring an Church Army exorcist with champion sideburns, a lovely middle-aged nurse dancing around naked with her coven to heal her friend Helena's slipped disc, and a scholar of folklore who I'm not convinced isn't a lesser-known Bowie alter ego. Beautiful.

lovely willy tittyvision

Finally saw the mighty Knower tonight, thanks to the equally mighty @cheeseford.bsky.social

Am in Manchester. Ran into Liam and Noel

Mind that time I blocked the Suez Canal? Crazy times lol what am I like

Pelican Smash wedged his Merc between two less good cars in an NCP in Shrewsbury and walked four hundred yards until he saw a Greggs by looking at it with his eyes. He had digested his previous meal, therefore he went into the Greggs. He was very serious and maybe troubled. He ate a sausage roll.

Bold lyric from Enya at 0:49 here: ‘Hey there, Mr Long Ten inch cock’

let me tell you something, the day I perfect my telekinesis skills a lot of people are going to find themselves getting psycho-yeeted into space

At last, Frank Beard and Louise Wener on the same bill

when the olive falls out of your martini and stains your fluffy mules and you just want EVERYTHING TO END

time to cast some spells

What’s the best YouTube thumbnail you’ve ever seen? Not any more it’s not

If you see this QTP with a cartoon with an amazing theme song

Birmingham ♥️

Finally getting to see Crossroads as it was was meant to be watched: on the big screen

EDGBASTON MEAT CLUB

I never thought Graham Linehan would ever make me laugh again, but I’ve just been reading selected highlights from his appearance in court and I have literally had to wipe tears from my eyes 🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌