Real life affirming experience to be at an airport bar watching the Cowboys play with complete strangers and all cackling at their demise

The boys [derogatory] on PSN chat on Saturday night

As seen at the Phillies Game: “Philly Jews Say Free Palestine & Go Phils!”

Wandering around the Vegas strip at 9am is kinda fun because it’s just you and some old Asian tourists

[WALKING UP TO MY BAPTIST COWORKER IN A PAPIST MANNER] well, well, well, still here, huh?

violence

dudes rock

the philadelphia eagles are blessed by the angels and graced by the light of heaven. i'm sorry if this offends you but it is demonstrably true

Go Birds, dickhead

You can tell it’s an aspen by the way it is. wow!

I am here in this critical ocean to kill whales for my living, and not to be killed by them for theirs

Damn is this thing orange [complimentary]

The Dolphins will not see the light of Allah until they give the dolphin his helmet back

Me: what’s the most effective and simple move in a fight BONG JOON HO, LOUDLY: gotta be the two foot drop kick out of nowhere

"I just want to say, go birds, fuck ICE and free Palestine," "Hacks" star Hannah Einbinder at the #Emmys

The Phillies are back in the playoffs and I'm going to make it everyone's problem

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

“I just want a Nazi boyfriend I can take to Au Bon Pain” is shorter and more honest than a bunch of the columns out right now

One of my favorite things to do is go to movie on a relatively empty stomach, order too big a popcorn because I get a free upgrade, finish 2/3 of it, and then get a really bad headache. I do this at least every other month

the shooter was an online gamer. it's important for newsrooms to understand video games more than ever. that's where i step in. so umamusume: pretty derby (ウマ娘 プリティーダービー) is a gacha horse racing simulator based on real life japanese race horses. in the world of umamusume, anime girls replace horses,

Good day to drink 45 beers outside

Thinking again about the MJ Lenderman song about wrestlers taking pills

boy i'll say

Him being good at soccer (look at the foot skills here) is legitimately obnoxious

I have committed to always getting the weird iPhone color AND I like the orange color… but I can’t figure out what case would possibly go with it

imagining being wheeled into the O.R. for my routine surgery and just as they put the anesthesia on I look up like "Jeff Epstein? The New York financier Jeff Epstein?"

What business have I with this pipe?

Referee: "Holding, offense, number 64" Number 64: "FUCK!"

"Little Karen action." Might be the funniest thing a baseball announcer has ever said in baseball announcer lingo

at the current rate rate, Jalen Carter is going to get ejected 10,200 times this NFL season

The frantic message typed up in my notes app I show to strangers as I slowly pass out from lack of oxygen:

Casual Bluesky users logging in on a Thursday about to realize half the accounts they follow are Eagles fans.

put your mental health into the hands of one (1) fifty-something year old “therapist” or fifty-three (53!) peak athletes in the prime of their lives who lifted a Lombardi trophy last season? easiest decision you could make.

Someone sent me this picture and I’d say this pretty much covers all the bases 🦅💚

Analytics are important

Resharing a classic #kglw #gizzsky

Sensual baseball is back and the Phils are plugging

Love to talk about Kyle Schwarber in the baseball chat

POV: you're a baseball and this is the last thing you see

We'll never know if Travis Kelce would have proposed after winning the Super Bowl, because Kansas City got absolutely stomped by the Philadelphia Eagles. defector.com/travis-kelce...

her hands look like that so his hands can look like this

Eagles beat the Chiefs so bad they had that man thinking about settling down and starting a family.

The thing about being a leftist is that a fake leftist will say that it’s not leftist to like sports while every real leftist will talk about the season Melvin Mora hit .340 for the Orioles

Welcome home! Now time to deploy to Chicago to kidnap a roofer

denmark rocks bc theyll notice that only 80% of their population is currently laying in the grass in a park with a six pack of 8% beer reading a book while on a 3 hour lunch break from work making $50/hr selling croissants at a cafe called GOBBO or FLUUZ and their government will spring into action

∀ Gundam (1999, ∀ガンダム)