Looking forward to seeing sped-up highlights of that match to the Benny Hill tune tomorrow.

While it turned out to be a risky strategy against France, it’s clear now that England should have tried going up 4-0 against Argentina.

I’ve played in matches like that. They usually ended when someone’s mam called them in for supper, talking the ball and a jumper.

English revisionist account of this World Cup.

Well, England and France, you’ve given the referee cramp. I hope you’re proud.

Tuchel bringing on midfielders to regain the initiative. Looks like he has learnt something this week.

That hydration break was like the 1744 “Protestant wind”.

The first half way well have been Agincourt. The whole match may be the entire Hundred Years’ War.

Don’t worry, England are winning by a single goal with around 25 mins to go. Should be fine.

Commentators on BBC suddenly big fans of 3rd place playoffs and hydration breaks.

In going up 4-0, Tuchel made a basic tactical error. 1-0 or even 2-0 would have been sufficient and would not have awoken France from a sense of ennui. Now, France are angry.

Tuchel should have gone to a back five and brought on Dan Burn at halftime.

As I was saying…

If John Simpson’s logic holds here by analogy, France’s control over Calais may be under threat.

Another aspect in this that may be difficult to comprehend if you’re English is that France’s loss was even more devastating for them. France really really believed they were sauntering to a World Cup win only to have their illusions utterly destroyed by Spain.

France quite literally being the opponent Tuchel’s team was set up for prior to the competition, but which no other team was stupid enough to be so far.

You joke, but I can easily imagine FIFA stipulating that the playoff be played by a selection of celebrities from both countries.

I suppose if one were to be provocative, one might observe that these 3rd place playoffs usually mean more to the smaller nations, unused to troubling the semifinal stages of a World Cup. Unfortunately, I know no such provocateurs.

I’m not sure French sporting teams understand any condition between sublime and ridiculous.

Tuchel resisting the urge to throw on Dan Burn in the 15th minute.

Probably not the optimal time to point this out, but 2026 is as far from 1996 (when ‘It’s Coming Home’ debuted) as 1996 was from 1966.

I honestly think tonight was a situation in which the modern cult of the football manager as decisive actor influenced the outcome. If Tuchel had just stayed out of the match more, not played chessboard genius, and trusted the players to continue to do the things that got them ahead, …

Update: Spain will be representing the EU side of the draw in the EU v non-EU final.

I’m new to this, but does this mean Spain could get Argentina back at the weekend?

The issue for Tuchel now is that everyone starts to reassess the entire tournament. The line becomes, well, England beat DR Congo, Mexico, and Norway on their way to the semis (none exactly big hitters) and made heavy weather of all of them. Looked vulnerable against Croatia and Ghana… /1

As a Bayern fan, I love Harry Kane and I think he has deserved much better in his career.

Referee will be a big factor in the final.

I’m not sure the problem is that England parked the bus too early. I don’t think parking the bus when 1-0 up is ever a good idea, especially in a world in which VAR really inhibits the kind of skullduggery required. You have to play to the end and make the other team believe you’re a threat.

Classic coach overthinking it and getting over involved in the game.

They just know how to win football matches. That said, they’ve been allowed back into it by England ceasing to play and handing them the initiative.

England’s problem now is that Tuchel’s substitutions have set them up to defend a lead and maybe steal a goal.

This is going to be an ugly armwrestle of a match that I think will likely go to extra time. If this were just a game of football, I think England would win; they are better overall. But there’s the occasion and the baggage, and Argentina know how to win and have Messi. So, I’ll stay on the fence.

A lot of pressure on England now. Even if they manage to beat Argentina and hold on to the Falklands, they’ll have to then beat Spain in the final with Gibraltar on the line.

I suspect we will look back at this match and realise it was the real World Cup Final (like France v Belgium in 2018).

It’s over for the little guy.

It’s complicated. My surname Cotter is an anglicisation of a Gaelicisation of a Viking name: Cotter - MacOitir - son of Ottar. We’re probably still angrier about the anglicisation than the plundering though.

Policy Exchange this week: “come in and sit by the raging fire and have some oxtail soup. Go on, go on, it’s piping hot.”

As a neutral in this World Cup, I’m conflicted. Good that it looks like the four best teams will end up in the semifinals. However, it is also a little bit too predictable so far. Paraguay v Germany strikes me as the only surprise in the knockout stage.

The people who invited us to consider Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage hilarious characters aren’t seeing the funny side of a guy dressed as a bin.

Just realised it’s now the EU (France, Spain, Belgium) and non-EU (England, Norway, Argentina, Switzerland) sides of the draw in the World Cup.

The purging of the last few brain cells left in the Conservative Party then.

You can imagine the establishment meeting in which someone said, “What if we got some guy dressed as a bin to go around the country running for Parliament on the off-chance that Nigel Farage at some point in the future panic-calls a by-election in which none of the major parties run a candidate?”

I don’t think anyone ever has made football look easier than Michael Olise. He looks like he could take phone calls while playing.

France have that “we’ll find a way to beat you” quality that you tend to get with World Cup winners.

If unsure about who to vote for in Clacton, you could read the campaigning materials or simply consult your bin collection calendar online to ascertain which rubbish goes out on that day.

Well, that’s Morocco’s plan out the window.

One of the funniest World Cup phenomena is the TV director going to some famous US athlete in the crowd and the rest of the world shrugging and saying, “yeah, me neither.”

Trump saw the anarcho-syndicalist peasants scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail and thought he was watching a documentary.

Farage’s appeal seems to be to target the contradictory attitudes of his electorate: they want an establishment coded politician, who throws the odd fillip to the masses like a pint in hand, while denying vehemently that he’s not establishment.

The perennial question of whether you can beat the allegations by winning a popularity contest with a bin will finally be answered.