A pal is a wonderful thing.

my idea: Bernie Mac it "I ain't scared of you motherfuckers"

does trump even believe this nonsense? I don't think he's exactly capable of "belief" in this sense. He thinks it's fun to sound authoritative and present himself as more knowledgeable than the medical establishment.

we all have fantasize bout it

looking good brotha 👍

BREAKING: World's stupidest moron says some more dumb shit

"Baby Yoda" was literally right there

Customer: IM A SEXY GIRL DMV: SEXY Verdict: ACCEPTED

I take off my second set of gloves to reveal a third set of gloves. All the liberals groan at my shit

Bed Bath & Beyond Good & The Evil Within

Good luck bitch. You don't have Doctor Who any more so now the only thing keeping me subscribed is inertia, and the vague notion I might want to rewatch Man Of Steel at some point

The right's big tactic is taking refuge in audacity such that accurately portraying them looks like an unfair hit piece. One drawback of this is, it's hard to make an hour-long documentary about one of them

when the blue tsunami hits we're forcing all companies to do penance by embracing Woke Ultra Mode. Colonel Sanders is a woman with blue hair now. The boy m&ms are kissing right on the packet. Cracker Barrel will become Curry Barrel and serve only Indian food. Land acknowledgment at the grocery store

The first time he was running he said he could shoot someone in broad daylight and still be popular. This is as close as we're likely to get to seeing that in action.

I keep seeing CK and for a split second thinking it means Louis CK, and it's funny how much more significant of an event that would be but how much less attention it would get

Just got a great set of emails from the FBI.

"Funny how the left suddenly cares about free speech after the Biden years" ah yes I remember it well, the Biden years, where the right said whatever they wanted whenever they wanted with no consequences of any kind, how hellish that must have been for you

A man is in a car accident and is rushed to hospital. The surgeon at the hospital says "I can't operate on this child, he is my father!"

[23 minutes into watching a youtube silksong review] wait a minute i don't even want to play silksong

we've already spent years observing this in action. People hated by the censorious right get their careers ended. People hated by the censorious left get free promo for their netflix specials.

Become a hardened warrior to honor the memory of the world's wussiest dweeb

It's a comedian's job to speak truth to power and tackle hard taboo subjects. *voice in earpiece* It's a comedian's job to be nice to power

Not really related but it annoyed me enough to come to mind: Armored Core 6 has a bug in the character customizer where the frame rate drops by like 90%. After 2 years the only solution anybody online has been able to come up with is to get a better graphics card

Hell, not a fan of the Chipotle either

If you went back in time to new years eve and gave me an accurate summary of what would happen just over the few months to follow, I'd have rolled my eyes at you for being alarmist

If you come round my gaff with that attitude you're going to end up with blood poisoning from walking on broken glass and dog mess

The eternal question: is it stupid on purpose to make it extra humiliating when they cave and give him what they want, or is it just stupid because Trump is extremely stupid

big climactic two page spread which quotes the entirety of Hey Jude

I saw a transphobic meme once that was like a vape shop that used to be a pizza hut with the distinctive roof, caption "no matter what it is now, everyone can tell it used to be a pizza hut" but it literally is not a pizza hut now, it's a vape shop, so

yeah duh. the people with favorable views are the ones they're posting all those gloating videos on social media for of them blowing up boats and sending US citizens to be tortured at black sites

Maybe not the most salient point here, but if there were other women at the gangbang having sex with men then surely it was just an orgy?

It's not ios but whenever I send a work email and typo "satisfied," a word my work uses often, the autocorrect options never include "satisfied" but they do include "satisfies" and "satisficed" a word which nobody uses

If only there was some kind of... snack food made of meat. Or some kind of crunchy food that isn't meat but tastes like it. Sadly, no such thing exists.

not sure I believe this... may have to rewatch it myself to be sure...

wasn't there a famous public speaker, recently deceased I believe, who said that some people dying is better than not being free?

Had a look at twitter, and now that the shooter has turned out to be a white groyper everyone has calmed down and is sharing pictures of Dakota Johnson in her underwear

we've learned one important lesson for sure: when it happens, we'll all be posting about it very circumspectly

Update: Civil War cancelled due to shooter being demographically uncooperative

Keep picturing Patel dropping the casings in terror after reading “if you read this youre gay”

My kid knows all he needs to: I snorted at a post and he asked what was funny, and I said "a guy got shot and basically it would be kind of funny if the guy who did it was named Mario"

I ain't no snitch.

youtube has finally found a way to plaster one of these dweebs all over my timeline. It's not breaking news any more! it happened yesterday!