This only happens to you once

It's 2025 and a President is punishing every place that ain't being shitty enough to the marginalized. That's 90% of his damn workday. "How do we make things shittier for them? How can I use my power to make things worse for them?" Fucking wild and whatnot.

we're not going to make it, are we?

On today's #GreatestTrek, Sulu gets poetic when he tries to tell Rand that a carnivorous weeper by any other name would jerk just as nicely. Listen to the full episode: gagh.biz/greatesttrek #startrek #StarTrekTOS #fods @maximumfun.org

So it’s early, but I had to lock down this tee for Hubby to wear to Christmas Eve with “mixed family.”

Imagine questioning The Actual GOAT. Who the hell do they think they are? Run that blank check.

you probably need to be of a certain vintage to understand the absolute hilarity of ken starr being in the epstein files

We deserve and demand a special zone to be scrubbed clean in by patient machines, and I dare say it's criminal we are denied. www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

DUMB TELEVISION 9/26 [TIMES ET]: *SHORTS-A-THON!* - 9:00am - The Mads: A Night of Shorts - 10:30am - The Mads: A Night of Shorts 2 - 11:55am - The Mads: A Night of Shorts 3 - 1:07pm - The Mads: A Night of Shorts 4 - 2:10pm - The Mads: A Night of Shorts 5 - 3:11pm - The Mads: A Night of Shorts 6

This is how imagine the new Warped Tour

I finally cleaned up my messy cablework

The Bar: the second best place to meet horny drunk great aunts besides a wedding

This is my favorite movie with King Kong because it’s good but also every tertiary character is played by an improv comedy person from an Adult Swim show that would air at 2 in the morning.

"Additionally, we will be charging a 30% Tariff on Upholstered Furniture"

the bat moved like a high school Peter Pan production's 1st rehearsal

Hi. I'm drunk again. (Who could blame me?) And, but, well, here's the thing: I still believe in this glorious turd of a country. Yes, really! We tried! We really did try! I'm fascinated by history, but especially "kinda recent history." "What does that mean?" I'm glad you asked...

I don't believe in ~manifesting~ but hell, it can't hurt youtu.be/kSQ8tZ35t4U?...

Reposting with Alt text:

In the one good timeline there's a world where these two geniuses made a highly unsuccessful perfect movie together that is now an enormous cult classic and I would sacrifice every one of you nerds to see it

A sculpture in Berlin called "Politicians discussing global warming" by artist Isaac Cordal.

Happy 77th birthday to the late, great Phil Hartman, The Simpsons' skeleton key.

Every year I relearn that Jim Henson and Phil Hartman had the same birthday but if I live to be 150 I'll still remember the phone number for Empire Carpet

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

I already know what I'm writing on my shell casings

"I've always tried to present a positive view of the world in my work. It's so much easier to be negative and cynical and predict doom for the world than it is to try and figure out how to make things better. We have an obligation to do the latter." #HappyBirthdayJim

dang ol tv pg, man

It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star Phil Hartman!

NEW EPISODE! We dive into the Marvel comics of February 1977, focusing on the issues chosen by our MBTM Insiders! Spidey fights Will o' the Wisp in a meticulously detailed Manhattan, and Harold H. Harold finally publishes his interview with a vampire! bit.ly/MBTMfeb1977

just learned about the content warning that open Silent Hill f and this feels like it comes from a parallel world where AAA games took on a whole different meaning for "mature" damn. more of this approach please

Sure, everything seems terrible right now because it is, BUT I just made microwave kettle corn so I got that goin' for me

Like a NASCAR driver sponsored exclusively by Judaism

Yes obviously of course I love this podcast and so will you

E Pluribus Motto's Janet Varney and @hodgman.bsky.social wax vexillological in a southwestern mode.

Pathetic AI Chatbot Spends All Its Time Talking To Friendless Loser

In this episode, the Top Guns pursue Lamentia to Isandria and get an unfortunate, Baldric-related surprise as they get closer to their prey! #podcast #funny #dnd #5e

DUMB TELEVISION 9/23 [TIMES ET]: *EVERYBODY WANTS DUMB!!* 9:30am - Movie Jo Night: The Fantastic Four (1994) 11:13am - Matt & Emmy & Chris & Terror At London Bridge 12:55pm - The Mary Jo Pehl Show: Mary Jo & Chris Watch More Weird Halloween Ads 2:32pm - Movie Jo Night: When Michael Calls (1/2)

People will blame anything for their kid's autism before they admit they fucked a nerd

Well I for one hope all the Rapture wanters get their wish and go the fuck away forever. Godspeed, idiots!

On this date in 2011, Biology 101 aired! Written by Garrett Donovan & Neil Goldman and directed by Anthony Russo, and this is the greatest middle finger to the suits ever flipped. #OriginalAiring

Why do they tease us with bold new flavors for a limited time just to take them away again?! It's cruel!

DUMB TELEVISION 9/22 [TIMES ET]: *DUMB DUSK TILL DAWN* 9:30pm - Movie Jo Night: When Michael Calls 11:09pm - Movie Jo Night: Baffled! 12:46am - The Mary Jo Pehl Show: Mary Jo & Chris Watch More Weird Halloween Ads 2:23am - The Mary Jo Pehl Show: Mary Jo & Chris Watch Weird Halloween Ads (1/2)

LOL

me telling my grandkids what it was like to have vaccines

Reposting this, no reason

As America's most pro-business leader in a generation, I will choose one company each week and accuse them of witchcraft

Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru two pack, $55.94 at Walmart

It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star Nightcrawler!

I'm tapping the sign