An easy way to explain this: Which is easier to do, bake a cake from scratch, or fix a cake that someone baked after they accidentally used salt instead of sugar?

Santa Is Now Using AI

I’m just waiting for the house democrats to come out and be like “well no, we aren’t considering impeachment, but we are putting black boxes over our latest instagram selfies as a sign of protest”

Because I can keep it going.

I frew up

“That is what it looks like when you zoom in on a mugshot of someone who killed her whole family in a meth-fueled rage after their MLM fell apart. That is a woman who bought too many leggings.” —my wife

Rob Reiner either made your favorite movie, or made somebody you know’s favorite movie. If you’re a Californian, he’s also part of the reason you or your friends can get married. He has changed more lives for the better than this asshole commenting on him ever did.

Finally if you know of any opportunities for work in Baltimore for someone who is blind, they would welcome any leads.

I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises

Starbucks is forcing us into drastic action by refusing to finalize a fair union contract. Baristas are striking for a fair union contract, resolution of unfair labor practices, and a better future at Starbucks. Want to support striking baristas? STOP BUYING STARBUCKS!

i stand by this statement every year

Hummingbirds are tiny while constantly hangry and on a sugar high. They're winged toddlers with a needle on their faces.

Multiplayer

you have been visited by the Quail of the Double Top Knot. Like for good luck. Ignore to go fuck yourself.

Jimmy Fallon would host the Hunger Games.

An absolute horrific nightmare of two AI bots caught in a loop with each other is the perfect example of the total nothingness of AI “brains”.

If you see this, reskeet with your model of positive masculinity.

There’s not a single filmmaker who is so magically good it should excuse them being a bully. Not one. Give their money to someone else. We have plenty of talent and too many assholes hogging the resources.

Here’s my Wrapped for the year.

There is a decent chance that the President of the United States is going to die on camera and no one in the room will notice for several minutes.

Make Pete swear on a bottle of Jack Daniels that he did not order the strike.

I had forgotten about @profanity.accountant and am now wondering what my account has looked like lately...

Somewhat related, my graphic design advice is that unless the image is a key point of your presentation, like it’s actually something you need to show people to get the point of your slide across, then don’t use one. Slides need to be functional, not overcrowded and “cute”.

if you, U.S. resident, forgot something and absolutely have to go shopping tomorrow, it's cool, we all understand. unless you say something like "I can't believe they're making you work the holiday!" in which case your cashier is legally entitled and morally obliged to shoot you in the face

This ep is about a species without gender, so pronouns inevitably come up. Riker makes a mistake and gets corrected. He apologizes, asks what pronouns Soren prefers, and then says he will do his best to be better going forward. If Riker could figure this out in 1992, your MAGA uncle has no excuse.

You can’t give the democrats info like this because they are going to work very hard to make sure those numbers are switched by November

100% faithful adaption of The Lathe of Heaven, but only if Ursula LeGuinn's estate gave their blessing.

Minnesota-St Paul, urgent cat relocation need! Get these sweet babies!

Does anyone in Baltimore need (or could use) a 20 lb turkey? Because reasons, we have acquired one, and while we can come up with uses for it, it's A Problem for my allergy issues and if someone needs it more, Sarah is happy to deliver anywhere in Baltimore

Just a friendly reminder as we go into the holidays: Folks don't have to explain to you why they don't drink. If you offer them a drink and they decline, don't ask them why. It's not your business. Just offer them something without alcohol to drink instead. And move on.

i bet RFK Jr just absolutely goes to town on a can of wet dog food a couple times a week

It's always good to remember that a Never Trump Conservative that remains conservative instead of recognizing the tree's fruit is innately poisonous is just mad that Trump is so crass about it. They prefer to have a thin veneer of politeness so they can pretend that it's not bigotry that animates.

why

everyone correctly noting that any time you put Trump in a room with someone charismatic he becomes extremely complimentary until someone reminds him he hates that person, take a bow he’ll be posting unhinged shit about Zohran again by tomorrow

The presidential pardon *must* be eliminated. There is no check against it being used for corrupt purposes and we're getting a blatant example of the damage it can be used to cause.

We're gonna see a wave of dipshits testing the "Don't make threats" rule getting their asses suspended, aren't we?

I wish him all the best in his recovery, which should be done at home and without the stress of serving in the Senate

jeffrey epstein won't see your jokes about how poorly written his emails were, but your barely literate friends also won't see them, because they can't read. fire away

Keep the reskeets going, Bluesky! We must never let the pictures catch up.

the only thing democrats should be saying today is “the entire republican party is engaged in a coverup of the most notorious child sex trafficking ring in world history”

Would you call on Ted Bundy to stop murdering people, or would you want the cops to stop Ted Bundy from murdering people? Hurting people is the GOP's reason for being. Demanding they stop is like demanding the leopard cease consumption of faces. The leopard has no morals. It hungers for faces.

this is literally never not accurate

Useless

That's the issue, chum. Chuck and his Eight Scapegoats decided that fighting was too hard so they just rolled over and gave Republicans everything they wanted for *nothing* in return. If you mean it with this "fighting united" stuff, push Chuckie to step down so someone can actually *lead* the fight

Snakes On A Plane 2 (2025)

Truck beds are becoming increasingly vestigial. The bed gets shorter and shorter, yet the truck's overall length does not. It just gets increasingly posh and upscale for the soft little babies that ride around in them, pretending to be tough and hardworking. And that's not even on how tall they are.