respectfully there's no heterosexual explanation for this

psa don't use the popcorn button with HEB brand kettlecorn. unless you'd like to fumigate your house, in which case it works great!

If you're at the airport and Kristi Noem is doing the ominous little message from the TSA screens, you no longer have to do anything she says. Leave your laptop in the case, whatever.

If you are in line to post a Kristi Noem getting fired joke - STAY IN LINE.

when you win a small concession you just get to keep yelling btw. one time a local official said to me "you people are never happy" and like: correct! it is not our job to be happy with compromise! it's our job to be annoying forever actually

anyway Noem may have been unlikeable but Markwayne is almost certainly more incompetent in every way. he only gets away with it now because no one cares about OK senators, but the man cannot go a single press conference without a major gaffe and he’s about to step into a propaganda-generating role

I wonder if the Waffle House will object to a racist political candidate using their trademarked name in his campaign?

do u think Trump saw that Markwayne called Hegseth the president yesterday on national tv because I think someone should show him

🎵 Kristi doesn’t know, Kristi doesn’t knoOooOoOoOoow 🎶

oh baby

Kristi Noem is getting fired!!…and replaced by Markwayne Mullin

Anyways.

Appreciate the clarity

Both showers and public transit rides have 3x multipliers to Thinking Time. You'd think stationary bikes would be too because they're both moving and mindless but actually they're 0.5x at best. Long flights have 10x to Thinking Time but only if you're in the sweet spot of tired but not TOO tired

my mom wanted to name me Zsa Zsa and had to be talked out of it by my dad

Because today felt a lot like spring, here’s a portrait of my cat drawn after her first time in a garden. She loved it.

Car mechanic on one side, juvenile correction officer (I know) on the other

Not gonna share the video of Republican US Senator Tim Sheehy breaking a protesting Marine's hand, but you can find it on @charlotteclymer.bsky.social's timeline. I'll just say that in a functional country, Sheehy would be expelled by the Senate. Democratic Senators should publicly push for that.

I’m a firm believer in the 15-minute city. Every resident should live within a 15-minute walk or bike ride to a goth coffee shop.

Chotiner can’t keep getting away with this

coincidence? you decide

Doomscrolling is the weaponization of literacy

true life: I can’t stop reading “orange cnty” as “orange cunty”

Way too many Jalens in the NBA

if only he was allowed to run as vince "shamwow guy" shlomi instead. could've cracked 5% smh

Mind you these workers are specifically Kenyan workers who are made to view and annotate the absolute worst things created by man and machine for extremely low pay and absolutely no support or care from Meta for the trauma they endure every day at work

I’ve seen enough. Not about the election. Just generally.

Travis County voter turnout in this primary: 30% In the 2024 primary: 17% In the 2025 *general* (admittedly, mostly propositions): 25%

we can't miss the historical significance of pastor fredrick haynes' texas primary victory its easy to forget that in 2008, obama's political career was almost killed by his pastor's condemnation of u.s. foreign policy in 2026, being a pro-palestine pastor actually supercharges political careers!

Texas is close to not being a functioning democracy It’s the hardest place to vote because Republicans have put impediments in place based on totally bogus vote fraud concerns - that they just make up The courts have become complicit in this effort What we’re seeing in Texas now is a disgrace

tbh not being online for most of the primary vote drops was very good for my mental health, 10/10 would play mtg during elections again

this is interesting 👀 141/160 precincts reporting, so not a done deal, but still

:3

JUST IN: Democrat Alex Holladay has flipped a GOP-held seat in *Arkansas*. Republican Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders tried hard to delay this race and wanted the seat to stay vacant for 8+ months, but the courts told her to hold it today. If she was worried, she was right to be. Our full recap:

JUST IN: North Carolina's Dem lawmaker Carla Cunningham gave the GOP the decisive vote to pass a law forcing police to comply with ICE. She said "all cultures are not equal." She just lost reelection BIG in the Dem primary to a progressive pastor & activist, Rodney Sadler. 70% to 22%! Context:

i made an offhand comment about not having my i voted sticker to get free food today because i already threw it away and my therapist looked at me scandalized and was like "you don't keep your i voted sticker??" and that's how i learned my therapist has a scrapbook of i voted stickers

none of these words are in the Bible. not a one

Abolish ICE has a +11 approval — which means it is *32 points* more popular than Donald Trump Ask yourself: does corporate media portray that accurately?

I had an Unpleasant Interaction (to put it mildly) yesterday and it won’t leave my brain. I just want to nap on my work break whyyyyy

they really might have ridden the anti-woke train all the way to bankruptcy court, an all time brand fuckup that should be taught as a cautionary tale in business school for decades

I don't think a lot of people who grew up in American churches understand how pervasive the belief that the United States is always on the cusp of outlawing Christianity is.

TIL there are people who interpreted Alysa Liu removing pronouns from her social media bios as her “becoming conservative” and I am 🔪🔪🔪

oh man today’s guy is the one who died from injuries sustained from falling off a roof while fleeing a massive ICE raid on a cannabis farm in California that detained 300 other people. I remember reading about this. he’d been working in the US for like 30 years to help support his family in Mexico

btw the final day of early voting in Travis county was 4% on its own for a total of 18.5% of eligible voters voting early for comparison: 13% of eligible voters early voted in last year’s general, and 18% of eligible voters voted in the 2024 primary *in total*

tomorrow is with one of the biggest election days of the year. there's so much to go over it's hard to know where to start. so, let me help: here are the *10* elections i'm watching the most closely, *at the state and local level* (=no federal elections included!) 🧵:

I'll save everyone the click, it's just this chart: