Orson Welles dug trenches into studio floors on CITIZEN KANE so cameras could shoot up at characters from below ground level. Almost no film then showed ceilings as the space above was reserved for lighting. Welles built ceilings out of muslin so mics could sit above them.

I checked the expiration dates on my spices, guys. It wasn’t good.

Can I thrown in ‘cocksucker’ to the list? Asking for a friend…

Kinda like a surfin’ safari, but it’s just me laying face down in traffic

is it a tomato, it’s a tomato isn’t it

She said, "You're running from the truth." I said, "Hell yeah, I'm running from the truth. Why aren't you? Are you stupid? Why would anyone face the truth if they didn't have to?"

A sorrow that sustains.

The older I get the gayer I get.

My father was a lounge lizard. I started singing with him when I was 3. He'd shill me out for tips. I'm sure that's fine.

I'm sorry I was grouchy my ponytail was too high and tight

Dunno whether to laugh or cry that Google is sabotaging its one brilliant product (Search) so that its AI investment will appear to be profitable. Its rearranging the deckchairs unless they can get AI costs under control.

My life is a complete disaster, but when you consider that my IQ is 12, I’m doing pretty okay I guess.

Driving my Cyber-Truck to Fiji, wish me luck.

A sticker of Calvin pissing on a Hobbes who’s pissing on Snoopy.

Fired from yet another psychiatrist for asking if he eats people.

Oh how quickly the protect the children class became the protective pedophile class

Social media influencers now outnumber civilians 3-1.

[world without bees] HAMLET: to or not to

Thanks, everyone! #Dateline deadline.com/2026/05/date...

Do you have 33 seconds? I think you have 33 seconds for bee content.

A little girl saw me getting into the driver's seat of my husband's Tundra and I heard her say "mommy that tiny lady is driving that big truck!".

I make jokes about camping yet I enjoy camping. I'm an enigma.

“How do you do, fellow French people?”

Do sasquatch females have 8 nipples like a dog or really hairy tits?

Six Flags: *opens first theme park Five Flags: "We should have seen this coming"

My dream was to be an FBI agent investigating serial killers. I'm not even close.

This gif has sadly disappeared from BlueSky (I think only one person ever posted it and that might be me) But we’ll always have Plano, Texas, where this interview was shot.💧😔

She’s gone. But…it’s #MothersDay www.nbcnews.com/dateline/wha...

I'm not fine.

I believe in Bigfoot.

It’s incredibly fucked up that Rachel didn’t invite Monica to her first wedding even though they were super-close in high school and college and never had a fight. Don’t think I forgot.

gonna let some hair dye run from my scalp tomorrow to honor rudy guiliani

They should add an extra day of the week called Doomsday for worrying

good morning to the dog throwing up all over the Supreme Court stairs

well maybe if you quit spending money on avocado toast and coffee you could actually afford to gamble online,

Seems bad. Which thing? Idk, take your pick. Surprise me.

pronouncing testosterone so it rhymes with rice-a-roni

[U.S. Postal Service] Me: *hands over change of address form* Clerk: Ma'am, this just says "bathtub” Me: I live there now Clerk: We can't send mail to a bathtub Me: Yay

Some guy at 7-Eleven just tried to sell me a treasure map. Nice try pal, I’m not falling for that again

Japanese police arrested a man for literally incinerating his dead wife at the zoo where he worked. globalnews.ca/news/1182629...

I’m just gonna say it (because I know we’re all thinking it): Darth Maul is hot

Name your top 15 TV shows ever, gut instincts only M*A*S*H All In The Family Good Times The Jeffersons Oz The Sopranos Ren & Stumpy South Park From Creature Double Feature Sesame Street Zoom ER Maude Mary Tyler Moore

My husband and I are getting some shrooms and we're going to trip fucking balls. I need a hard reset.

me: is it pronounced ir-REV-a-cah-bull or ir-re-VOKE-a-bull im so confused my gynecologist: what

Closing my eyes, envisioning my troubles as a pair of tight underwear, they constrict my joy, now I'm taking them off, I'm giving myself room to be happy

Wanna see chill, silly ol’ Sic totally lose his shit? This’ll do ‘er

If you're not angry right now then please tell me what the fuck drugs you're on because I need some of those.

I'm sorry but there are just too many fucking things to be angry about right now to not be angry.

AI pees on the toilet seat.