Happy Fall, you Fucking Idiot

The Tylenol autism thing doesn't even make sense with their shitty causation logic because Tylenol was widely prescribed to pregnant women in the 1950s

OK, so perhaps it IS finally the time to schedule that optometrist appointment since I thought that THIS 🫶🏼 was a crab emoji.

Whittled this gaggle of monsters out of 1inch wide sticks 3.5 inches tall using just a knife while making a tutorial video. Lots of fun! I like being able to just grab some basswood and make something. Beginner Whittling Tutorial is live now! youtube.com/@johnnythela...

I'm safe you guys!

Jesus… not take wheel?

Happy Caturday! My cat is sad because he pooped on me in my bed 2 nights in a row and now I'm mad at him. He doesn't like that.

We're hiking today. I'll update later with pics. You've been warned.

Other drivers have a staring problem.

I really thought I would have found a pile of buried money by now.

When A and B are having witty online repartee and clearly "know" each other, and C jumps in to make it pure cringe. (C is always a guy, btw)

I had to say goodbye to my beautiful queen. She passed peacefully in my arms. I told her she was the finest lead hen who ever lived, a true beauty & thanked her for being so good. I told her to go find Dorothy & say “biiiiitch! Look who’s baaaaacckkkkk!” & take care of her. 💔 My heart is broken.

Charlie Kirk was a racist, a Nazi, and a bona fide white supremacist! You can't fire me twice motherfuckers!

The remarks weren’t “about Charlie Kirk,” they were about how this administration is using Kirk’s death as an excuse to shut down critics … and they responded by proving him completely correct.

Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk

I can be mean but people being mean to me is against my religion

When a TV personality gets fired because of something he said about the president, that's called fascism. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

There’s nothing worse than nearing the character limit and being forced to cut important curse words that absolutely belong in there. Fuck the bitch dick in my eye, amirite? You know the feeling. Can’t even jackass my whore shit onto Jesus tap-dancing cock’s Christ half the time

I went to a Buddhist temple once out of curiosity. I sat in the back. The first half was an excruciatingly long silent meditation. After ~10 minutes of trying to quiet my mind, I began to panic. I couldn’t breathe and had to take a klonipin. Then it was much easier and I loved it. Super spiritual 🧘‍♀️

Live Laugh Lefty Loosey

Corporate media bravely continues Charlie Kirk's legacy by committing to destroy the careers of anyone who disagreed with him: www.404media.co/comcast-nbcu...

“Thank you, Tim Apple, for making an iPhone that matches my color.”

We don’t celebrate his death, but we won’t hide the truth about his life.

I don't support what happened to Charlie Kirk, but Charlie Kirk supporters support what happened to Charlie Kirk.

Next time someone on the right claims all the political violence in this country is coming from the left, not the right, do please show them this. You're welcome

lmao GO WATCH ‘FROM’ YOU COWARDS

just look at that face. he would never sharpen his claws on the new chair, never ever, and we’re offended by the accusations

Some days I'm really glad my life isn't filmed live before a studio audience.

Pardon the intrusion. I overheard you call my favorite dead streamer an “empty-headed bitch boy” earlier, so I called the police, ICE and the FBI. An officer with the U.S. Park Police followed them here (no one knows why). They’ve agreed not to storm the McDonald’s if you surrender quietly

The firings will continue until public perception of Charlie Kirk improves

[getting fired] so.. I’m told you texted your mother this morning to say, and I quote, “I never liked Charlie Kirk”

I've chewed my fingers til they bleed for 50 years but sure I'll try yoga.

Let’s get to know each other before you block me

How many hashtags do I need in my bio to join the resistance?

Thinking about taking this random sidewalk pill just to feel something.

God didn't give me dimples because he knew they would make me too powerful

[Bar in Costa Rica] American: Do you got snacks here Bartender: No hablo Inglés American: SNACKS SNACKS DO YOU HAVE FOOD FOR MOUTH EATY SNACKS Bartender: THANKS FOR YELLING NOW I GET IT YES WE DO

i thought a labubu was a vagina injury

Good morning to everyone except people who seize the day

It’s try not to get fired Thursday

Charlie Kirk was killed for saying things "that used to be simple common sense," says Boris Johnson. Here's a few of those things

"I’m sorry. If I see a Black pilot, I’m going to be like, ‘Boy, I hope he’s qualified.’” - Charlie Kirk.

You are under no obligation to mourn the death of people who would’ve celebrated yours.

George Floyd was a father too and Charlie Kirk called him a “scumbag.”

Let’s make one thing clear from the start: Charlie Kirk was the victim of a shooting in a country where he, along with other right-wing extremist influencers, have been inciting violence for years. — Kirk is neither a martyr nor a hero, he is a cause.

Will we mourn David Duke in much the same way? The major news orgs are just covering their asses because every single one of them platformed that Nazi motherfucker, while presenting him as a generic conservative to the public.

He wasn't a fng folk hero! He was a white nationalist!

the right calling for civil war against the left if kirk carks it the left: