michael b jordan shouldnt have won anything. after all he is a dracula (kills people)

Beware The Ides of March! It’s a terrible movie! Career worst performances from some great actors! Rent A Face in the Crowd or Bob Roberts on demand instead!

I love how this play ends with an extended MST3K episode.

market people are fucking hilarious you could tell them the moon was discovered to be made out of rare pokemon cards and they'd boost trading cards stock 90000%

it’s easy to laugh at the British when they fail at sports like Baseball or Basketball, but it’s important to remember they have their own rich tradition of sports like Soccer, Cricket, and Rugby that they also repeatedly fail at.

Wait, I just realized what Great Britain’s WBC jerseys remind me of:

My God, do I despise Don’t Look Up. The most smug, self-congratulatory, “dumb guy’s idea of a smart guy” movie in a long, long while. I also hate that it’s a movie where if you dislike it, the counter argument is “you’re making the movie’s point!” Cool. If that’s the case, let the asteroid hit.

Congratulations, WaPo, you did it, you published the worst take

They should make Pez dispensers for Tums

If you're at the airport and Kristi Noem is doing the ominous little message from the TSA screens, you no longer have to do anything she says. Leave your laptop in the case, whatever.

Damn, they took Noem out to the gravel pit

we are about to learn just how short everyone’s memory is

I have to say, I don’t love that a former editor for the “New Yorker” is using this horrible war as an excuse to spread antisemitic conspiracies that New York Jews are all Israeli sleeper agents - especially when the state of Israel has made it clear it doesn’t care about us at all.

I think it’s very telling that when Punch was fighting for his goddamn life out there Moo Deng was nowhere to be found. She was supposed to be so great. Everyone loved her. I told you all she had no substance. I was right to despise her.

I’m getting a little sick of saying this, but I think it’s worth repeating, that this speech sounds no different than your average white nationalist website.

why are any of you watching the State of the Union when you could be walking into a screening of Nirvanna: The Band The Show The Movie right now like I am

It’s fascinating that the MAGAs really seem to think fucking up American air travel out of pure spite (by suddenly shutting down TSA Precheck and Global Entry) on a day where a blizzard is hitting the entire Northeast will make people like them *more*

Theory: RFK Jr. is always doing his workouts/cold plunges/etc. with jeans on because he has a build and a temperament that screams “skips leg day” and if anyone saw his puny spaghetti noodle calves, his entire facade within the manosphere would crumble

starting your inevitable war on the judiciary under the banner of your least popular policy that's most likely to get congressional republicans to side against you

DOG AT THE OLYMPICS FULL COMPETITION HIGHLIGHTS

As an attorney with occasional experience with the Equal Time rule, I can explain what's going on here and how the FCC's Brandon Carr is leveraging his position to force late night and daytime talk show hosts to exclude Democratic candidates. First I need to explain the Equal Time rule itself. 1/

That’s Dan❤️‍🩹🦅

Clavicular just sounds like Dorian Gray with extra steps

Shortbus is a Valentine’s Day movie, I will not be taking questions at this time

It doesn't explain his relationship to the rest of the human race but a big part of RFK Jr.'s broader damage is clearly trying to find out if he can die. I guess if I had lived a life like his and was somehow still around drinking out of puddles at 72 I'd have some questions on that as well.

RIP Sondheim, you would have loved how there was literally Someone in those Trees

Oh god I just thought about how upset Dave Portnoy must be right now and everything just got a little better.

💅💅💅

It is pretty satisfying that everyone was right about the Pats having a cakewalk all year and getting thrown in the woodchipper the second they played a complete team

no eres mis casa bonita no eres mis esposa bonita

The question all year even coming into tonight was “Are the Patriots actually good at football?”

Who could have seen this coming, except anybody who watched the Patriots offense against anything resembling even a slightly above average defense for more than five minutes this season?

Birnam Wood do come to Dunsinane

Clapping my flippers together and honking like a harbor seal when a Super Bowl ad for a condiment or gambling app featuring two celebrities unexpectedly reveals a third celebrity as its punchline. Bouncing a ball around on my snout. My wife has to throw me a herring to get me to calm down.

“Mr. Beast Salesforce ad” - they’re calling it the least appealing phrase ever assembled in any language. They finally did it

Tom Stoppard

The media desperately wanted to give the right a cultural moment and the problem is that they have no culture.

Super Bowl MVP going to a kicker would be some primo Sicko shit

We all saw the fellas grindin right? That may be a first for the super bowl.

Only one who got the ball into the end zone was Bad Bunny

We’re gonna win they’re gonna lose

That was fucking awesome

Bad Bunny Halftime Show doing an easter egg to the 49ers substation electromagnetic field conspiracy theory.

Using Mr. Rogers in a Super Bowl commercial for mortgages should result in prison time

I am standing up to antisemitism! Now I’m sitting down for antisemitism. Okay now I’m walking around to antisemitism. We’re playing musical chairs.

Another punt!!!

as you watch all of the rah-rah pageantry of the Super Bowl it’s astounding to remember that MAGA is so weird and offputting that they’ve apparently given football to the libs in the national divorce

Thing about the Olympics is even the last place finisher has spent their entire lives working for and dreaming about the moment. Inspirational stuff. Compare that to members of the New England Patriots, who are only playing today because Bo Nix got hurt.