I went into today and thinking that I was almost done with packing for my move. I am an idiot who always forgets how long the kitchen takes to pack. Someone punch me.

Woke up on Oscar noms morning ready to fight* *my coworkers for not respecting SPEED RACER [2008]

hey guys, just to confirm this is my fundraiser. i didn't want to ask for help, but i do need it. my cancer is back. i am going through a lobectomy next week, the same surgery Walter White undergoes. i can't express how grateful i am. thank you so much everyone. www.gofundme.com/f/support-ge...

No, Carson Beck, no! What are you doing?! NOOOOOOO!!!! defector.com/no-carson-be...

By the rules, Miami did in fact win tonight.

I’m sad and frustrated, but not so much that I can’t appreciate how ridiculous this Indiana team was. Feels a biiiiit better to lose to that.

Right before that play, I said out loud “I just need Beck to not force a deep throw, so much time left.” Sigh.

Miami’s season comes down to Carson Beck’s last collegiate drive. I’m going to barf.

It makes me nauseous to think that Malachi Toney wasn’t born when I graduated high school, but if that’s the price I have to pay, I’ll gladly pay it.

Malachi Toney, what a player.

Adding another reason to my “why I dislike white Miami Cubans” list.

That’s probably game. Damn Aussie punting motion.

Given that Miami’s offense was poop from a butt, down 10-0 feels pretty much like a best case scenario.

Maybe not maybe not.

Miami’s defense might be good enough, fast enough, and crazy enough to keep this close, but Miami’s offense looks like a high school team so maybe not.

Miami will win tonight. Unrelated, but winning now means “not losing to Indiana by 30.” I don’t make the rules.

Industry is so so so so stupid, and I truly mean that as the highest compliment.

This is about me being a Pats fan.

We’re on to Jarrett Stidham.

Honestly, with the way Marcus Jones has been moving with the ball on returns and the pick, put him out there at wide receiver for New England.

feeling good feeling great

The Texans might have remembered they can just dink and dunk and rely on their defense, it’s terrifying.

Pats up 21-10 at half, feeling great, definitely don’t want to literally vomit harder than CJ Stroud has figuratively vomited so far.

Yeah, the half ending with a Hail Mary pick, that’s about right.

Meanwhile, AFCON final is having a normal one.

“Without [one of the clown show teams], the AFC is a clown show, just chum for the Seahawks [like the Bills would have also been]” (the AFC is definitely a clown show, tho)

Oh my god, dude, this game is dumb as SHIT. This is why we watch.

Really enjoying Pats-Texans cosplaying as a week 17 game between eliminated NFC South teams.

We are Christian Kiiiiiiirk, we drop all the balls 🎶

I had been telling myself all season that whatever the Pats did in the playoffs would be fine by me, and that I am chill with no expectations. Now that the AFC is wide open for them, though, I’m shitting my pants.

Get ready to learn New England, Super Bowl.

Bo Nixed

The Traitors UK is so shameless with the music, but today’s episode using a somehow even more somber and cringey version of “Numb” might have been the peak/nadir.

Can’t believe I’m enlisting in the Dodgers Are Ruining Baseball/No They’re Not War on the side of the Dodgers.

Watching Traitors UK at the same time as Traitors US does not do the latter any favors. The UK version is so damn good.

Morocco outlasted Nigeria in a battle of Africa's finest: defector.com/morocco-outl...

Every time I see any sort of discourse about Dark Souls or FromSoft in general, I thank the universe for making me suck too badly at those games to understand exactly how annoying everyone is about them.

Macclesfield's historic upset is why the FA Cup rules: defector.com/macclesfield...

It is fitting that Justin Herbert’s last relevant play of the season is getting absolutely rocked thanks to some horrible offensive line play.

Drake Maye, I beg you to stop trying to throw the ball when you have a guy directly in your face.

Took long enough but that’s a heck of a throw for Drake MVPaye.

In retrospect, this Eagles season was always going to end this way.

Less than three minutes left, down four…let’s throw two straight passes to the hobbled running back for five total yards.

Shanahan is such a damn sicko.

Trevor Lawrence did not have something for me here.

Trevor Lawrence has something for me here.

This Madrid-Barcelona match just huffed some nitrous oxide.

lmao well, that was certainly a Jordan Love way to lose, even if it wasn’t a pick

It would be very Bears to blow this, but it would also be very Jordan Love to throw a pick here.

Bryce Young remembered he’s Bryce Young at the most inopportune time.