Instructions unclear, The Brew Creu tank mode engaged

Showed up to Zohran’s New York just in time for the nicest spring days in the history of spring and days.

All these World Cup songs and no one has yet topped “Wavin Flag” after 16 years.

Playing a baseball simulator made me a fanatic again:

For Sunday Defector, I wrote about how Out of the Park Baseball has brought me back into baseball fandom: defector.com/playing-a-ba...

Well, that stunk: defector.com/well-that-st...

The power of unified hatred Spurs*

I’m a Knicks hater, but Wemby going to his first Finals and getting to play at MSG is cool as hell. AS HELL. Spurs in 5.

I love that the Spurs all know to rush over to Castle whenever he gets heated.

Gotta hand it to Luke Kornet on that block, wow.

Safe to say that this series will be decided in these next few Luke Kornet Minutes. God help us all.

Chet is going to have to get over whatever anxiety he has about Wemby or this is gonna be a loooong decade for him.

I think Wemby has entered the Tired Nexus.

Dying at Harper immediately going to the floor to stop Castle from fighting Caruso. That’s truly a veteran move!!

Every Jared McCain basket is a deserved slap in Daryl Morey’s stupid face.

Live by the defense die by the defense I guess.

WHY would you have a center back kick fifth???

30 minutes of fun, 90 minutes of 🤮🤮🤮

I'm cracking up at how in the bag for Arsenal the CBS commentators are right now. They're about to start calling PSG cowards.

Not that I expected it, but how was that not a second yellow on Mosquera too?

Popping that Dembouzzy

That's one of the clearest penalties I've ever seen, why is this VAR check taking so long...

You don't have to convince me that xG is a flawed stat, don't worry.

you took a full minute to line up your corner sorry it's halftime

Hey, Arsenal taking nine hours to take a set piece finally bites them, very slightly, in the ass!

Halftime thought: I’d be saying “there’s no way PSG doesn’t score today with this much of the ball,” but I’ve watched enough Arsenal this year to know this is ending 1-0. Maybe 2-0 with an 87th minute penalty.

Whether Arsenal wins or not, whatever, the absolute worst thing that could have happened, in terms of entertainment, in this game was an early Arsenal goal.

This is an absolutely horrid final to watch, lmao.

Arsenal 1-0 up in a Champions League final...we are about to see some real nasty work from them, and I can't even blame them.

....can't be 3-1 if Arsenal doesn't score 1...

I'm sticking with 3-1 PSG here.

The Killers, they could never make me hate you.

Arne Slot was dealt an incredibly shitty hand this season. I can’t even blame him for not performing a miracle with that, but it also became pretty evident he didn’t have any miracles in him at all.

Chet has to hope that OKC wins game 7 because otherwise he’s going to have to go to therapy to undo the damage Wemby is causing.

I would be terrified of someone who would want to multibox OKC-Spurs with Jen Psaki’s MSNBC show. Genuinely bone-chilling to think about.

Wemby spent the last two days just watching LeBron game 6 2012???

Zero Parades is a really interesting game because the actual writing ranges from mid to horrid, but the narrative is really fucking good and gripping and the gameplay rocks. Could have been a true classic.

I'm really excited to watch and then not participate in any discourse about Camp Miasma, which looks sick as hell.

Wemby is just completely gassed. He can’t even pretend to go up for a rebound.

Both of these teams are practicing Eastern Conference hoops ahead of the Finals.

Ok, did the refs just short circuit there or did multiple calls come in from Oklahoma City?

Nothing makes me more viscerally angry for no reason than my internet going out. It’s so frustrating.

if you’re like me and somehow never saw the JJ Putz thing, here you go. it is amazing.

After trying both for the first time in ages this holiday weekend, I am ready to weigh in on the Diet Coke vs Coke Zero debate… They’re both ass.

I’m stunned by the reviews for 007 First Light. Not because I doubted IO, but because the lack of any kind of buzz for it and the late embargo date made me think they had served up some ass.

Officially, I am now a San Oklantonio Sphunders fan the rest of the season.

I deeply relate to the Cavs dominating game 1, blowing it, then completely crapping the bed the rest of the way. I also have no mental fortitude, kings.

The good thing about this Knicks run is that it will fade into obscurity once they lose the Finals. When god sings with his creations, Landry Shamet will not be a part of the choir.

The joke’s on me for trying to rely on James Harden and Donovan Mitchell to feed my hater agenda.

Wemby is such a freak.