The last time I took ambien I posted a Jake Tapper fancam to Twitter and had no memory of posting it when I woke up

before the world ends does anyone wanna get me a wawa soft pretzel

I am here for messaging that the THREAT alone - regardless of if it's carried out or walked back - should end his presidency. The die is already cast. You cannot wield the power that man has and say that kind of shit.

First off, Bluesky sucks. I am serving Twitter realness, come over there and follow Leve Mcdichael and Obson Dugnut and Lenallen Mixon if you wanna quit fucking around with your radlib circle jerk

Boltzman Booty sounds like the alias of a Chargers superfan

this is the funniest shit i've ever read

this is a very, very, very beautiful thread that I genuinely needed as a reminder.

one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen

I never thought I'd ever say "but her emails" in full sincerity but here we are

Platner consistently showing everyone he's Trump in a Carhartt jacket.

We’re used to this after Eagles Court

5 Calls makes it easy btw! Just plug in your zip to get all your reps info and they give you a script to follow!

If you’re in Bucks County PA Brian Fitzpatrick’s number is 215-579-8102 and it’s not currently going to voicemail so call and give him hell

I’ve been seeing a lot of “what the fuck am I even supposed to DO today” and feeling that myself, and after some thought, here’s where I’ve come down First, call your house rep/senators. Yes, I know that feels pointless. Do it anyway. Helpful script below bsky.app/profile/cele...

whatever the context this is justified

Doug Glanville

The Moon: oh wow you guys decided to come back Artemis II crew: earth’s haunted

It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel finemaxxing

would've really appreciated if he saved genocidal aggression for after my period

I've scrolled past this twice already without paying attention and thought it was just Brooklyn 😭

God, I love her so much. Just banger after bager. She's in it purely for the love of the game and I respect that.

Nixon also nearly launched a nuclear attack on North Korea while drunk. Do you know how bad of a shape we have to be in for me to hand it to HENRY KISSINGER as the lone voice of reason????

I didn't make this, but it needs a reposting.

I am not a hateful person but I haaaaaaaate both of them so much

Anyway what else is there to do at a time like this than to change your avi

Times like today make me so angry that people still have the nerve to say “well we survived Reagan!”

It's important to remember that Iran has a population of 92 million people. Actual human beings who have lives, who have dreams, who want to live.

Harrison Bader, the only blonde man I’ve ever love d

Baby's first RAV4th inning

I really need T-Mac to enunciate when he says Painter I am losing my mind

I am famously Philadelphia’s premier Alec Bohm hater but he really looks like the only one alive lately. Way more consistent this year.

Someone about to become the first art critic

Mods please

So that was my fault

Chat

I am being harassed

JT is such a liability lmao how does he get hit AB so often 😭😭😭

I AM AWAKE

SORRY DID THEY JUST SAY BADER’S 6 FOOT 7?!?!

If I don’t see that wagon soon it’s sleepy time

someone about to invent the art museum:

Hmm

The only sure things in life are death, taxes, and Emmy falling asleep before the 4th

Of course he gets the first out……. I’m gonna be SICK

OK I NEED THOSE PHIL AND PHILLIS SOCKS

Y’all I am not gonna make it

That’s RIGHT

MLB scheduled the first Phil’s Giants series in SF to slight me specifically. They don’t want Emmy to take a gander tn, ya feel me? They’re using the sleepy forces against me.

US Propaganda "Wipe Out Hitler" Toilet Paper & a roll of British WW2 toilet paper: