I think every one of these posts is a confession, and I am so serious

Heading down to the Freedom Fuel station to fill up my $700/month truck and make the woman next to me at the pump uncomfortable enough to share her location with friends 👍

Talk 👏🏻 your 👏🏻 shit 👏🏻 Wheels 👏🏻

Graham Platner is a good looking sexual abuser with a drinking problem. So why hasn’t Trump given him a cabinet position?

Happy 7th of July to my neighbor setting off fireworks right now 🥳

Wheeler says, screw the All Star snub, I’m elite

He’s BACK

Another joyful day of being online for the “liberal men that hate women” discourse!

Whiny ass bitch needing attention from the incel town square

Maybe Scott should get the carbon monoxide levels checked in his house

*pounds table* wo-men’s soc-cer wo-men’s soc-cer WO-MEN’S SOC-CER

This was the day Trump became president

Maybe this loss will kill him* *choose your own adventure

It’s so over We’re so back It’s so over ⬅️

pausa de hidratación

US defense on that play

What do you mean the 84 year old who fell several times and then entered the hospital unconscious after having CPR performed on him 22 days ago is dead?

I’m an American, I shouldn’t even have to see the phrase “soccer discourse”

They’re going to have to give England whatever it is they give the president to keep him up manically posting every night

That miss was the curse of the Rav45th inning

England’s going to take more stuff back to British Museum with them if Mexico lets this embarrassment continue

Hooooooo boy.

“Altitude is all in your mind” is Ben Davis calling this match?

Having a little watermelon and Tajín to round out this long weekend

@lerbonjanes u like what u see?

America’s most important monument 🫡

How can you not be a little romantic about Philadelphia?

Going out in my patriotic best (Bryce Harper throwback and hot dog earrings)

Wishing all these masked up goons a very heat stroke-induced hospital visit

Related, but if you see me celebrating today, this is what I’m celebrating (all photos by me!)

Good morning

This thing has its own gravitational pull

Man here is complaining about having the perfect Philly evening — my steak is too juicy, and my lobster is too buttery

Andy Reid is currently picking out of his teeth the wings he snuck into the wedding while attempting small talk with Gigi Hadid

“I was fine with feeding poor people into a woodchipper until the CHEETO IN CHIEF started being rude about it”

When asked why I’m doing karaoke at my own future wedding, I’ll point to this example

Travis Kelce is currently 7 beers into a case of Busch Light trying to find the comic book page he wrote his vows on

I saw LeBron watching Big Boy roll into Philly

That’s a shame that people will have less of an opportunity to get in the communal, sweaty baptism pool in a non-air conditioned tent on the national mall

There’s a man at the gym barely 5 feet in front of the machine I’m using face down, ass up doing hamstring stretches Sir, please, I’m trying to conduct serious business here

Made a lot of food, anyone want a plate?

Asserting dominance over the power grid by vacuuming and turning the AC up ahead of guests coming over 💪

‘Take Us To Your Biggest Pedophile’ Demand Surprisingly Politically Informed Aliens https://bit.ly/4eTxZ8V

just saw lebron James at the burger bar in stone harbor — he told me he was going to be a sixer 👀

Tucking a frozen Rip’s Ranch Hand into my saddlebag before climbing up into my 8,000 lb truck that I use to drive from my suburban home to the business park that I work in.

Quick map check to see where Bosnia and Herzegovina is, annnnnnd we’re good to go

God, I love when Bryce has his swagger

This is the most important science talk you’ll ever hear in your lifetimes, btw, featuring John Kruk

This is why I voted for Trea to be an all star

Wish that ball hit straight off Bohm’s ass, just to see, you know, from a physics standpoint what it would do