Like and repost if you want more goth punk bimbo heathcliff.

Post a banger that's not in English youtu.be/299q1uTE01k?...

Wait, there's a drug called Zepbound? That sounds like the self-published biography of a Robert Plant groupie

A lot of people have told me "Fredo, maybe you shouldn't live in such close proximity to so many cliffs". Well, have you consi- *falls off cliff* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

How do couples decide who gets to be the chancellor during sex and who has to be the wretched functionary

At one point Marvel Comics decided there were too many mutants and they cut them back to just 198 in the whole world. About a year ago, a Big Event Comic happened that outed the shockingly large vampire community and now the sun doesn't kill them and they're a new global underclass or something?

About to enter my "unreliable narrator" era

What the Olympics needs is a mystery septathalon. Competitors show up and only then learn what seven events they're competing in. "Welcome contestants! Today you will be running, swimming, baking a soufflé, wrestling, comforting a traumatized child, playing poker, and throwing grenades!"

ICE told nurses this Minneapolis man “purposefully ran headfirst into a brick wall.” What actually happened is that they pulled him from a car, beat him so viciously with a steel baton that he had 8 skull fractures, 5 life-threatening brain hemorrhages, and couldn’t remember he had a daughter.

We selectively bred for neurodivergent dogs. Tail wagging is a form of stimming. I have no evidence for this claim but you know I'm right.

There are two wolves inside you. No, there are four wolves inside you. Wait, now there are eight wolves inside you. Hold up hold up... You know what? I had this thing calibrated wrong, that's just a regular old tumor.

Liam Conejo Ramos identified as second in command of ISIS by US intelligence services

We selectively bred for neurodivergent dogs. Tail wagging is a form of stimming. I have no evidence for this claim but you know I'm right.

Jeffrey Epstein, also known as "Friends Georg"

"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture." Oh yeah? Well I would watch the hell out of that, that sounds rad as hell, actually.

I am asking you to find some obscure experimental album and spend a few years earnestly telling all your friends things like "look, I'm not saying your favorite music SUCKS, but if god was real, THIS is what gospel would sound like" while making them listen to electronic renditions of duck farts.

Excuse me? The president of the United States got dared into licking a flagpole and DIED, and you LAUGH? Monsters. You're all monsters.

it’s genuinely reassuring to me that this is the most miserable and paranoid person in the entire world

One of their plans to dlsave the company is a partnership with OpenAI Oh yeah, this is gonna be funny.

japanese cinema has taught me so much about the selfless heroism of violent gambling addicts

My apologies to France, I was not familiar with your game.

They just blindly shot through the fucking door. "Additional photographs show damage consistent with a bullet fragment lodged in a bedroom wall down the hallway — suggesting it traveled between a mattress and a portable crib in a room where several small children sleep."

Tear gas is banned in international warfare, yet classified as a “riot control agent” that law enforcement can use for crowd control. “It just doesn’t work well, and it hits the weakest people the most, and causes the most complications in them,” an anesthesiology professor at Duke University said.

"The law would have required them to disclose how their construction and operation might harm the environment, and it also typically required a written, public assessment of the possible consequences of a nuclear accident."

Apparently they even did a story where Man-Bat has his own Batcave and, like... you fools, you were so goddamned close

Has anyone ever done a bit where the Bat-Man character Man-Bat has a Mancave? If no, then... how the hell has this not happened?

"My pronouns are yes/and" -- your friend who just started taking an improv class and you have not yet admitted to yourself that will never see them on purpose again

This headline implies that the patent is only for the novel concept of doing this with Sony characters, and one could still file a patent for doing this with other media properties. So get filing, everyone!

Got my car free and went grocery shopping for the first time in since the snow storm like a week ago. Had to use a pointed metal shovel that I could force under the solid top layer and then lever it upwards, breaking it into big flat chunks, some of them nearly 3' square.

counterpoint: you're literally ricky gervais

I swear to god if I see a single Celtic foot in the new Odyssey movie I’ve gonna fold Chris Nolan in half

The Department of Homeland Security thinks this 29-year-old named Chandler is "the leader of Antifa" (seriously) www.kenklippenstein.com/p/feds-ident...

Four minute mile? I'm so dyslexic, I can barely manage a four minute shitpost

Thank you Josh Shapiro for joining Gavin Newsom in the "2028 hopefuls I can tune out and not vote for" category. It's nice when they make it easy for me this far out.

Somehow managed to co-opt a moment of mass consciousness and political leverage into a massive funding grab for ICE and the police surveillance industry. Aided and abetted by a number of “progressive” groups along a spectrum from ignorant to nefarious.

Background on this shameful chapter in Democratic Party politics here. A huge stain on the integrity of all the non-profits who pushed for this as well to give the Democrats cover. bsky.app/profile/equa...

Is this so they can jerk off to their own footage after the murders

Neil Gaiman should never be readmitted to polite society. A man with that much money and power, actively putting up a smokescreen of progressivism to conceal his predation, can never be trusted.

crazy that basically every person complaining about "woke overreach" over the last 12 years is also in the epstein emails being like "thanks for the pussy, jeff ;)"

respect bitches ♥️

THREAD. There's one proposal that would make a difference and that is popular across the population: if ICE or any other federal employee violates your constitutional rights, you should be able to sue them for damages without any immunity or other procedural technicalities that now make it harder.

Turns out that you can simply chose not to sell your warehouse and prevent it from becoming a detention center www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

Will Stancil is too stupid to be a fed, but will gladly do the work of the feds for free because accepting best practices from people who know what they're talking about is inconvenient and so many of the people telling him to stop doing fed shit are just women

i make my best art when im medicated but im taking drugs that make my meds ineffective

Law enforcement: fascist orders we'll follow until someone stops us. Anti-fascist laws we'll ignore until someone forces us.

Tinkerton, a PDX MAGA who assaulted leftists the other day, was IDd on xitter. And - gasp! - he's another violent domestic violence dude. Brian Colin Veach has a bunch of arrests for things like strangulation, harassment, burglary, menacing, stalking, criminal trespass. Go figure, right?

Federal agents cornered Marimar Martinez, shot her several times, boasted about it, arrested her, lied about her to the public and in the police report, and falsely charged her with assaulting them. Now the government wants to keep evidence of their lies secret to protect these agents' "privacy."

Mouths of History: Up Close and Spitting