i still can't figure out if it's good or bad that we live in the golden age of, justified or not, calling our enemies pedophiles

Okay I was wrong there are Two problems with Mastodon

every emoji should come with a mirror image emoji option, as well as an upside down emoji option. let me flip these dinosaurs 🦕🦖 so they can face each other and fall in love

why settle for just the halftime show when the whole nfl is woke and lgbt now? i can't be the only one who thinks turning point should channel its right wing influencer pipeline into a rival football league, all safety procedures and concussion protocols (feminine coded) removed

i need more trump first term style cabinet crashouts bc 3 more years of powerful people treating autism like a horrible curse on your bloodline is going to do me in

i'm here in woke 2 and we're celebrating diwali at work a few weeks early just because we can. this is awesome and will soon be mandatory nationwide

There's being in the zone, and then there's the Orinoco Flow State.

arstechnica.com/tech-policy/... he might not be the most dangerous of the trump cabinet shitheads but man i think i still hate this craven little weasel the most

Fascists: If you don't like America why don't you just leave? Bray: Okay. Fascists: Whoa, buddy. You don't get to critique fascism and then just leave.

You will NEVER defeat autism Secretary Kennedy www.ajc.com/news/2025/10...

the new thing that girls are into is tesseracts. if you’re trying to impress women in 2025 you need to up your tesseract game, player

you can cut back on your spending a lot if you're willing to buy the extra gluten snacks. any time they take the gluten out of something they have to put it into something else and those treats are seriously cheap right now

Around this time of year, brits will wear ‘poppies’ out of deep respect for the international heroin trade

BROADCASTER: [Voice shaking] They killed him. The Phillies killed Clayton Kershaw. All he's got now is his ring, millions of dollars, and some personal beliefs no one wants to talk about. Oh god the Phanatic is unhinging his snoot and devouring him like a boa. Why is he even here

Mind your business, son.

i stridently reject mamdani on this subject: enya is great workout music. skill issue www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...

Clayton Kershaw once the postseason arrives

too lazy to finish the joke you get the gist of it

gm

We're raising money with @killjamesbond.bsky.social to help friend of the show Bella raise money for gender-affirming care, and if you post screenshots in the replies I will march your donations. I'll post my own receipt as well!

i would bet money the insanely scammy survival food kit commercials that walk viewers step by step through "what is a qr code" and "how do i scan a qr code with my dang phone" are the most profitable commercials in the playoffs

The Virgin SpongeBob

In some ways this is the government now

October - 2025 Ohtani is Master of Baseball Only the Phillies Bullpen Stands Before Him Sandlots Are Now Battlefields

regardless of tonight's phillies vs dodgers outcome, i've got jokes about admiral yamamoto getting shot down, the battleship yamato running out of gas, the USS Philadelphia getting burned, the Philadelphia Incident, and New Orleans Class cruisers getting scrapped all locked in and ready to go

BASIC: wow Eddington really does speak to the complexities of middle class American grievances ADVANCED: One Battle After Another’s cartoonish depiction of fascism is shockingly apropos MEGA GENIUS: Peacekeeper nazi dimension real

landing a zinger of a joke in a slide deck, while on one level a humiliating admission of one's own cultural lameness and irrelevancy, nonetheless hits when you remember being Workplace Funny pays pretty good

"This website is free" No. This website comes at a terrible cost

lance reddick (rip) once called a guy in my replies an asshole

while i still like a dirty martini, the biggest personal cocktail mixing success i've had in years was crodino mixed with a dash of simple syrup, lemon rum and a sweet vermouth that put it over the top so i'm cosigning the overall gist of this piece

there should be an austere version of a cupcake with a more restrained, masculine aura that also tastes horrible

The most fundamental political debate of our time: You are integrated into and have responsibility for our complex, imperfect society vs. Nuh-uh.

microsoft product (begging, pleading): save this document to my documents? me: save to desktop microsoft (twitching, shaking) this jpeg. save to pictures? me: save to desktop microsoft (weeping, throwing up): this email attachment... downloads? me: desktop

A thing I respect about Poltergeist is that it doesn’t fuck around. Like your ass is haunted scene one.

i say governors and mayors should be arrested all the time and no one makes a big fuss

now we're talkin bsky.app/profile/phrl...

got invited to the goblin group chat but none of them speak common so I'm just fire reacting random shit

I say this with love, some of you are going to lose your life savings to a man who says you have parking tickets that can only be paid in Target gift cards

im not saying you should but you could make a few people mad if you painted over everything yellow here and just labeled it midwestslop

[With a Transylvanian accent]: “Is Pepsi okay?”

the blue jays are beating on the yankees so hard that i'm out of war of 1812 analogies

I love living in a city full of immigrants and tons and tons of people who are not at all like me and not like each other. It makes us all better and it makes our city better. I know I’m preaching to the choir by saying this on the lib app but I sometimes just get so overwhelmed by how special it is

challenging hit by pitch calls is for cowards

this is going to sound insane but daulton varsho always looks like he's a different person trapped behind his own eyes

vlad guerrero jr is the product of a 30+ year project to concentrate an entire planet's psychic resentment against the yankees into the form of a single human

"In effect, these voters responded to the most comprehensive attempt to provide concrete benefits to them since the New Deal by loading an economic shotgun and pointing it directly at themselves." prospect.org/politics/202...

Donald Trump has heard the wails and lamentations of all the Rust Belt communities left behind by neoliberalism, and he has a message for them: fuck you and die

Just a colossal self own ceding 21st manufacturing to other nations we compete with. Unbelievably short sighted.