bruh when i told told you my schedule is flexible, that does not mean "ask me to work for two extra hours EVERY SHIFT"

These ads for life insurance with the woman saying very plainly "my husband was only 36 when he died in a plane crash, you have to plan ahead" what the fuck dude

At the critical point of deciding to let my hair get long again or cutting it but summer's coming. I think that's my answer.

Every time I see the Saint Louis Billikens logo/mascot I can only think "no, that's Ted Cruz."

ayy i got reposted in the same basketball pun thread as one of my favorite comedians, that's neat

Ömer Laşık

So apparently the band Franz Ferdinand is (rightfully) pissed that Israel's military is using "Take Me Out" in propaganda videos. This could lead to the funniest possible beginning of imminent WWIII.

Maaaan I've had such trouble staying asleep over the past few weeks. Melatonin has never worked for me :(

two weeks, binchhhhh

What if the oil rigs just did a nollie kickflip over that Omani enclave with a giant Rodney Mullen

Favorite genre of athlete: Simply unstoppable for like a six-week period after coming out of nowhere and turned that into a long paycheck-oriented bench career

Things that make me happy: One of my friends in high school, ball knower, had a pet fish he named D'Brickashaw Ferguson

going to the store for a cranberries album and a good cry, y'all need anything?

Nutshell by Alice In Chains hours :) :(

lol it's windy as hell and i just got smacked in the face with some windswept gutter twigs

Are Titans unis objectively fine? In a vacuum, yes, but if you're gonna rebrand don't rebrand to look like the Oilers. Weak.

love catching stray blocks for liking a post dunking on a weirdo

I don't want to eat a grilled cheese And while young I grew tired of Spam Sandwiches made with thick cold cuts I just want you to give me some ham I just want you to give me some ham

My beloved Atlanta Falcons might be a little too into the song Garbageman by The Cramps in free agency

I remember the first time I heard Iris when I was a kid and I was like "being an adult can't be that sad, right?" Ohohohoooooo my poor sweet wee lad

Family functions have gotten increasingly funny simply based on the fact that I can shoot the shit with my mean sister's husband and chat like normal folks while she's just so full of 'tude, dude. It wasn't even my intention but I can tell it doesn't sit well with her that he and I get along lol

This will work every time.

How do I get the job of "bumper music chooser for Sunday Night Football"

nine inch nailpolish

*scoffs* it's actually metallica's some kind of monster

This is now a sand gnat complaint account

If I ever brag about seeing a cool band before they blew up, it comes purely from "I paid $20 for it instead of $110 two years later." I am not hip.

Tommy Tuberville always been a piece of shit but WOW

Please lord never let me read "Texan Elon Musk" ever again

I had a lot of my friends move around a lot as kids, our family did not, so it's wild to think that there were two or three kids with whom I attended pre-school through graduating from UGA. Like really weird. In a neat way! In school together from 1998 to 2017.

tell me something about the Gai of Hormuz though, or perhaps the Baisexual of Hormuz

I love when I'm just venting about an old job/boss and somebody's like "you should have done _____" yes thank you for the advice seven years later

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS THING Give me this and a juice box in '97 and I have now ascended from this earthly plane

Truth be told I had no idea the Rockies occasionally have Lorenzen in the outfield, but you can forgive me for not watching too much Colorado baseball.

It's been super hot for a few days so I excitedly quote The Cult when I say here comes the rain, I love the rain.

eyeball deep in work usa is about to get eliminated, yeah? talking wbc

I am a lot more chill now knowing that my boss fucked everything up because my 6'8" coworker had his first practice with his semi-pro basketball team tonight. He played D1. Still here alone tho, ripping a cig finally.

Fucking livid. Showed up for 4:00-close with the door locked and everything shut off. Already looking for a new job. Doing all this shit and unloading deliveries by myself. This is the most disorganized place I've ever worked and it's not close.

first use of the year :)

It is March 11th and 90° pls kill me

Their unofficial ad is hilarious for the unfamiliar m.youtube.com/watch?v=gPoz...

Oh fuck off with "Bam Adebayo should have stopped at 81." I won't go off on Kobe because y'all already have but he was, at least at one point, a very bad person.

Serious footy post: So yeah there's a possibility the World Cup might not happen, and we have bigger fish to fry globally, but:

Going to Taco Bell and asking them to give me a large Baja Blast and a large soda cup full of sour cream Call that Supreme Liter

A lot of the country: "Spring is coming, this rules!" South Georgia: "SUMMER'S COMING, FUUUUUUCK."

Happy birthday to my sister who famously does NOT care for the band 311 CHILL

One time when I was a teenager I almost bought a keytar in Leander, TX and I kick myself for not buying it every day of my life

i love jokes about bassists being feral psychos, one of my fellow bassist friends got upset about a meme

AL East this whole tournament on Cornholio shit

Well, those extra six runs did a lot of real work at least. Fuck.