Against all odds, looks like we’re announcing this tomorrow morning. (No, it’s not Infowars… yet?)

Engraving two bullets with "this bullet only lies" and "this bullet only tells the truth" to really stump the FBI

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

There are too many children in India that die of rabies because they're too far from a hospital that has the vaccine and it's too costly for them to travel to get it....and once symptoms show it's too late. This will save so many lives. This is WONDERFUL.

Okay I'll tell a quick story. A million years ago, I used to write for Esquire's website. I wrote a nice thing about Jimmy Kimmel that was almost certainly illegible trash. He then followed me on Twitter and, ever the Weird Twitter purveyor, invited me to meet him after a show after a goofy tweet.

Influencer culture is so weird, man. Like if you get popular because you’re a thin, mid/late-20s woman whose whole schtick is like, idk being a lesbian and doing pottery badly with your pet ferret or something, that’s it. That’s your content for life. Every day you have to post a ferret video.

Overall I’ve found there to be truth to the saying that punks/ goths/ metal heads are nice people cosplaying mean people and hippies are mean people cosplaying nice people

Huh. It seems like the perfect time to promote Mr. Terrific!

i really hope someone empties it out at the end of the day

good job chat we successfully bullied a major corporation to the point that the late night host they canned is making jokes about it in his return monologue american fascism versus the cancel subscription button: who will win

CHOTINER: So your son is 14, is that right? IKARI: It's complex, Isaac. If— CHOTINER: And the “robot” he pilots, that’s actually the child of an alien you keep crucified in the basement, which is possessed by the spirit of his dead mother? IKARI: Look, let me answer the question. CHOTINER: Sure.

One of the best reasons to support 404 Media, aside from it being a journalist owned tech news site, is actual change happens because of their reporting.

The fact we don't have a single dem, calling for a vote of no confidence in Hakeem Jeffries, is why the house democratic party is dead How can we feel confident in our leaders, when there doesn't seem to be a single leader in sight

I want to do some crimes.

Eric Adams is a bad mayor but an excellent character in the drama of the last days of the United States.

I'm the guy that found Manos: The Hands Of Fate so I sure as hell ain't being raptured to Heaven.

I got raptured, but all their TVs had motion smoothing on, so I came back Bummer

Rapture? No, I said “rupture”. You have a gas leak, please evacuate the vicinity.

she spelled tick tock like the app lol

"There's reason to believe maybe this fiscal year will be better than the last" - Accounting Crows

I hate this, but the obvious question is if Melania took Tylenol.

I'd be a horrible A-list writer. I'd piss off my editors, by writing a novel, but I'd introduce a talking cat on the last page, and the book would be a standard police procedural I'd explain it every time, as, "ok, but for the sequel, I introduce, 'Scruffins', the new Captain", before they stab me

it is amazing how many of these guys love to make tough boastful statements then at the slightest sign of pushback back away like little bitches

I understand Miller doesn’t like being called Goebbels, but maybe - and I’m just spitballing here - he should stop plagiarizing Goebbels speeches

It's after midnight, on September 23, 2025 I did not get raptured... THANK GOD!

SCOOP — Part of the reason Disney/ABC may have rushed to sort things out with Kimmel is because tomorrow they have a planned price increase for Disney+ streaming, a Disney source tells me. With subscriptions hemorrhaging since last week, they couldn’t risk losing more users with this announcement.

Aceta-acebafina-Aketomulfa-Tylenol

Just so y'all know what's happening at the Kennedy Center. Shout out to Yasmin Williams who is showing that we are not monolithic and that we all have different ways of protesting what is going on.

*slaps Pelican mouth* This baby can store so many... Uh... Uh. Nevermind.

LOL

BOB IGER MUST RESIGN‼️

Justice John Roberts is an enemy of the state

[spelling bee] Your word is 'bananas' Gwen Stefani: *whispering to herself* c'mon Gwen, you know this

No notes.

What are the names of the U.S. Navy officers carrying out these orders to serially bomb civilian boats that pose no threat to their own vessels, killing everyone aboard? Surely they’ll want to take personal credit for this honorable service and perhaps wear a little campaign medal on their chest.

Tried to get my real ID. I had my license, my SS card and my birth certificate. I was not allowed to get my real ID because my birth name is different than my married name. Now I have to go dig up a marriage certificate. You know who wouldn’t have to do this? A man. Never change your last name.

Most of you know, I am a Disney Adult. I like their villains and always have. But I'm just going to tell you guys this: cancel Disney+ and Hulu. Don't give corporations that are feckless cowards your money. Don't comply in advance. Fuck them.

my favorite subgenre of Halloween decoration is “skeleton of things that absolutely do not have skeletons”

This person is infantilizing Erika Kirk, by thinking she's just some grief stricken woman, when she's an immoral grifter like her dead husband She wasn't used. She walked out onto that stage, and saw the dollar signs above the heads of everyone there

Never in our history, not even during Watergate, has a single news cycle so comprehensibly established the deep corruption and politicization of the Department of Justice

When are hotels gonna make do not disturb signs that don’t fall off the door when you open it

Here is Voyageur II arriving to pick us up from Isle Royale NP. Its a 2 hour ride across Lake Superior back to Grand Portage, MN. I hiked 31 miles in 3 days with a 20 pound pack, and slept outside in my hammock. My reward? Memories. #hiking #backpacking #nationalparks

do you know how much happier the rest of us would be if the rapture were to actually happen

Is there seriously no one with decent values and a spine willing to primary Jeffries? Because that person would get my money.

According to all the rightwing nuts, we at least have good aim

All of these comments are hidden from me @support.bsky.team why are you hiding people interacting with me This is bullshit

Just 2 gun rights advocates sitting behind a wall of bulletproof glass while enjoying a memorial for a gun rights advocate who got murdered by a gun.

Ok, I've put in enough hours in Skate... it's a terrible game, and it's good EA made it free, because there is literally nothing to do, and the controls are terrible It's not an Early Access problem, the game is just terrible