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Top ten surfaces to squirm on

The emails can’t find me in my well

it costs me $137 every time i leave the house

There’s nothing silly about this putty 😒

Aaahh!!! Real Housewives

Any weather can be sweater weather if you’re committed to the cause (it’s 80 degrees outside)

Drafts were never meant to live in captivity. Set them free

Went to The Hoe Shop and everyone knew you

Learning to be more personable so that perhaps maybe someday someone will person me

Farter <3

Thinking about fucking with the moon later

It's a mog eat mog world out there

Flossing my teeth 365 times consecutively as I drive to my yearly dentist appointment

That's been debonked

Don't get stoned in a grass house or whatever

You remind me of the Wizard of Loneliness

Hey. Spink on that?

Driving Over the Influence (he was in my way)

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step. 1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish. 2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

been trying to learn magic the gathering by watching some friends play commander and this is how every game sounds to me

Currently experiencing the wonder and mystery of the bottomless mimosa

Trying to train myself to stop touching my face so much so I went ahead and covered it in bees

rubbing my chin contemplatively until it's eroded away completely

I'm running around scooping up all your favorites

whatever you do DON'T picture a sphere

picture a cube.

$2,500 a month on zillow

Wait we’re supposed to BALANCE the humors?? I put all my points in Phlegm

straight squirmpin' on it

"time is a flat circle" no dude youre thinking of a clock

one man's trash is another man

girl ur looking absolutely effervescent today

lord i see how you have locked in for others

I helped work on this horror game! If you want to help me you can wishlist it on steam, or follow the bsky account, or repost the post!

feeling real grateful for having the cognitive ability to consciously arrange colors and lines to represent objects and/or ideas rn

inside of you lies two Dilberts self felatiating himselfs

just found diblert in a ditch

making more valentines kinda

Had some extra holes put in

i am lowkey getting ornery

Hey Yo Quiquestion

Cancer: New year. New you? Let’s hope so.

water is my homie

Resolving to become more resentful in 2026

Forgot to post the outfit in question

Person working the register at the board game shop told me my outfit was cunty, I fear I may have peaked

Meet the Silicon Valley startup that’s disrupting the market with their proprietary system of loud crashes and clangs