okay this was fun but i’m mostly gonna be back on @selectric.space

pasta assasina is the italian way to get wok hei into their main starch

one of the simple pleasures in life is saying 'wow it looks like silent hill out there' when it's really foggy

math buttrock

OH: "Podiums feel like they were invented for Mario Kart."

northstar moment? #f1

Plato's

what a stupid fucking car. the oil plug is plastic too, because ofc it is. anyway i'm down to one (1) warning light and one (1) inexplicable noise from the dashboard, which is the best it's been at in months. just need to get a new copy of the title sorted out so i can sell this bucket of bolts

great news: a grille has been installed that hasn't got a hole in it AND my hood latch works now

Neu! - Für Immer

I believe that Dunning and Kruger each represent one extreme of their eponymous effect, like Goofus and Gallant

i sincerely believe american businessmen forgot that industrial centers are valid targets in wartime just because america has never endured a defensive war

Critical failure on the lunchpad

plans for today: fighting the forces of german entropy

If you're blue, and you don't know where to go to why don't you go where fashion sits?

I shouldn't be surprised that fascists have no idea how Major League ballparks work, since fascists don't work lol

Telling people I'm in parc fermé because it sounds more interesting than "I've got nothing going on"'

deeply silly: local dumplings restaurant switched from tried-and-true slip of paper for ordering to a goddamn phone restaurant system, except they still bring you a paper receipt at the end for paying the bill instead of just paying on the phone thing. wtf.

👕

This would improve things.

the best way to eat a circular food is to rotate it very fast and take little bites until it disappears. hamsters are right about this

new dream car just dropped

doing caroline polacheck noises

liz 🤝 maya three day poster’s vacation

bag boy

Noem out, Neom out, judging by the anagrams it’s some kind of… Omen…

NO THAT WAS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT STUPID FUCKING PLAN

larry ellison’s gonna pack a sack lunch

Please don’t spread misinformation. Tomahawks fly at low altitude. It’s climbing like a THAAD interceptor (we are out of interceptors).

honda fit

i love an easy question. slam-dunk.

The US is going out like a rom archive

sometimes the answers are simple and obvious u just need to freak out a little bit first

The Hero of the Desert

Aston Martin-Panera Lemonade That Kills You F1

can i buy a barrel of unleaded at costco and stick it in my storage unit—wait, this post is just an always sunny episode. shit.

is this anything

If Battlestar survives 400 years into the future Shakespeare play style people will NOT believe that Gaius Baltar came before Elon Musk/assorted AI guys were a thing

Unfortunately, “Yo brother, legal team confirmed we can’t work with minors rn” is an instant classic

finally a vision of America that even Victoria can get behind

Gender reveal cannons, Blue (Never Fired)

Look what Malta Post uses for last mile delivery 😭

Ear doctor: Don’t use Q-Tips Me already imagining putting a screw driver I found in the driveway in my ear when I get home: I womt

Aston Martin-Panera Lemonade That Kills You F1

That's not true. But Tokugawa Iemitsu issued the Sakoku Edict in 1635, closing Japan's borders and rigorously limiting international contact, to avoid an interview with Chotiner

Networks are just two computers passing the same packets back and forth while saying "Exaaaaaactly"