That’s not your ministry 🥴

If you give your wife 10 errands to run without helping, I hope her 11th errand is a dick with a curve in it. Lazy ass lol

Happy “Leftovers for breakfast” to those that celebrate!

Fuck that noise, do it even if you're old. I learned tattooing at 43. I learned editing and publishing at 46. There is always still time to do or learn new stuff.

Shiiidd, what kind of shells?

This is my new favorite TT trend.

I work harder on my days off than this fucker has worked in his whole life. Send him to a fucking salt mine. I do not care.

In case no one told you today: You matter. You are enough. Your timeline is your own.

Happy Thanksgiving 🦃

they said WE are the reason for the season! you’re welcome, america!

I did it…I’m done cooking! It’s time for a nap! 😭

what you want us to do? make your job easier by not expecting you to perform it?

The toddlers are terrorizing and the adults are drinking! 🤣

I can’t…that’s the get up and cook alarm 😭

My top 5 internet story. I’m realizing though…has there ever been an update about the real grandson 🤣🤣

listen i almost took a lap...

leave jason alone! lol

Only because he got caught.

Me everytime I see my sister:

My *younger* brother comes in my room and sees my pole. Him: This needs to come down! Me: Not only am I grown, I’m older than you! Him: 😒 Anyone want a brother?!

I can't wait to see the sandwiches you make outta this

Do I feel like doing this food prep, no. Am I about to drink an Alani Nu and knock this shit out? Absolutely!

Perhaps the baby paid extra.

TINY CHEF IS THE GOOGLE THANKSGIVING 2025 SIGN 🥰🥰☺️

Whether by planes, trains or automobiles; safe travels to all my sl family today. I hope yall get to your destinations safely. ✨️

In a few hours my apartment will be filled with my siblings and their tiny terrorist. It is one of the few instances that chaos is welcomed in The Chateau. Also, pray for my nervous system 😂

That nothing beats a Jet2 holiday.

Well… Add a little possession in the mix and sign me up 🤷🏽‍♀️

I don't want your homemade cranberry sauce. Give me the can of mystery holiday jelly packed by a worker ready to burn the whole factory down.

Why do chicken coops have two doors? Because if they had four doors they’d be chicken sedans

ish wants to be a contrarian so bad, but he can't think himself out of an open door.

Aht aht… No take backs.

Boobs are having a great PR week! Love that for us that are blessed/cursed up top. 🥰

Lessons that weren’t learned the first time, will repeat themselves

She told the shooter *allegedly*

Today has truly been one of those “I’m not as mean as I’d like to be and I should be thanked for that” Bc I’ve been molten lava hot since about 7a! 🤬

Campbells was also just heavily fined for admitting to dumping ecoli filled plant waste from it’s location in Maumee, OH into the Maumee river twice a day, 7 days a week since 2018.

I see your Virgo Man and raise you a Cancer man! 😭

“It’s going to be ok” At the height of whatever issue…🗣️ NO TF IT’S NOT!!! And I will punch you in the face for saying that dumb shit!

Ahhh I see the Legend of the Thanksgiving Porch Haint is being told. You can smell the cranberries in the air!

It’s Turkey Day week and my job just tried to Phish test me. I immediately hit up the IT homie like “Is this a trap?!” You won’t get me with a 4hr training! 😭

The Rich hate the poor regardless of the relationship

It’s like nine companies that own everything

Dillion Brooks just shoulder checked Steve Adams and he needs to thank Big Sandals that Steve didn’t get up and beat his ass! 🤬

the first 3 words you see will define your 2026 😭 Money Boobs Travel

Ok they were sisters

Him and Omar Tyree were the escape for my younger self!!!

Slammin. Hams. 😭