Tommy Rees is not gon make it in this city, bro. I don't need to see a single snap to know that.

Stefanski said Tommy Rees calling plays???? oh this is a 2A moment.

Simone Whitmore, immediately upon wakeup:

most ppl with ONE major cheating scandal know they can kiss first-ballot goodbye, and that mf had TWO????? i'm actually more mad at y'all for acting like this rn.

JaMarcus Russell.

scalding take: Belichick was merely a product of privilege & Gisele's husband. change my DNA.

why don't y'all ever try to use AI for something useful like killing the pre—

"you shouldn't shame people!" well i think the Turkish hairplug industry would beg to differ, for starters.

everyone has a full & robust understanding of the concept of personal agency, right up until a vers nigga walks into the room.

a paper shredder is basically a court bob in mechanical form. pls do not ask me to elaborate.

"ju race your boyce, i race your boyce" needs to be on a fleece lined sweatshirt. endless color options.

"post deleted" the Bullying Works Mass Choir delivered a resounding sermonic selection today. see y'all at rehearsal on Thursday.

accent so thick, your partner almost dropped thru the sunroof to hogtie you?????

here y'all come trying to rationalize/defend vers hate again. direct correlation with those 3am horny skeets from an empty room, i suppose.

no fr, the zombies in all of our media are always super athletic as fuck. first of all, i thought y'all were starving???? is that what human meat consumption does to the body?????

definitely the "guys, we did it!" buddy. bobbing and weaving my way to the end with 0% usefulness, while also finding my light at every conceivable turn.

......new influencer pipeline just dropped???

our mutant king! 👑

re: Law Roach it's one thing to take the money & go about your business. it's a whole different beast to take the money from someone who makes you seem like a bad person AND makes your work look terrible. really hard to survive that in the field of styling.

"I Believe" by Sounds of Blackness was literally drilled into us every single morning by Atlanta radio. i'd probably heard it more than the National Anthem before the age of 13.

the first relay race in history where all four legs started together on the same line. [and the fourth leg = Tyga.]

Josh getting his revenge from the inside >>>>>>>

was basically Dreams & Nightmares for anybody who ever bought a jar of Pro Styl gel

i don't know if i'll ever be able to get past the fact that That Man™️ really tore down a historical third of the White House and everybody just sat there like "ooh, funners!"

my toxic trait is making Bustelo whenever the insomnia revs up as an "i guess we gon be beating each others ass tonight" type gesture.

the real trinity is Leo-Aquarius-Virgo but nobody wants to have that conversation

there is no debt of decency owed to fascists at ANY level.

i really wanna go to New Orleans for Bloody Sunday (since i ain't gotta worry about Valentines Day no more) and then bring my ass RIGHT back home. but i know that ain't happening, so let me not even play.

i never went thru the "gross boy" phase. i used to take long ass baths for fun just so i could listen to music in the tub. the first day i was ever real-deal musty, i came home from school like i had been shot. a very dark moment in the tapestry of my adolescence.

White Chocolate McDaniel sounds like a starting power forward at Kennesaw State.

True Life: I Am Unreasonably Addicted to Chocolate Coconut Water.

that bodycam footage must look like a video game cutscene. they knew they had no choice but to get his ass outta there after all the shit he was talking this weekend.

they really removed Munchkin King???? hmmm. what's the catch???

the quest to be me continues. might claim him on my taxes this year, idk.

but please, tell me again (as sanctimoniously as possible) why "Say Her Name" should be open for everyone to use. 👂🏽

Miss Trinidad ain't stand a CHANCE

we are literally in hell. smh. i'ma let you Brits and Canadians talk your shit for the next seven minutes. after that, we back on your ASS.

why are all the gays suddenly jumping out the window to defend Tyra?? are y'all being paid??? [i, too, would like a check pls.]

absolutely nothing could have prepared me for unmuting this

you could take your very last breath in Prickly Pear off of $60. bring it BACK!!

played the game, won her prize. 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️

this grading scale discussion is making a lot of things make more sense.

white ppl are not okay, exhibit Q:

....and they think Philly is their next stop????? lmao. they not built for this shit at ALL.

*stares directly into camera lens*

unthinkable strength.

even if you weren't in danger of losing your seat for the vote you should *for sure* be forced to resign after this statement b/c what in the FUCK do you mean you didn't realize what you were voting for, like that isn't your literal JOB???