If I pass away tomorrow, please do a seance to send me all your shitposts or I’m haunting your ass.

Before you fall for me just know my dance styles are either sensual stripper or white dad at a BBQ. There is no in between.

youtu.be/yOb9Xaug35M?... Feral as fuck today. Don't mind my horny posting today, mkay

Sorry I can't make it tonight, I have a date with my vibrator

ngl.link/evienyx/neve... Never have I ever edition. Go on, be bold with the questions, I dare you.

y’all wish me luck 🥗🤞🏼

Looked at the way I left my clothes last night and I'm pretty sure this is how I got undressed

*bouncing on it* Do you even like me?

If y'all are interested I am going to be twerking to the Weeknd and other such familial jams

ngl.link/evienyx Going to drink some wine later, send me stuff to look through and answer when I am a giggling mess lol

GUYS, YOU KNOW WHAT'S AWESOME?? CHEESE!!!

me, always

WHITE GUY WITH DREADLOCKS EXPLAINING AMERICAN SPIRITS:

Wine and Twisted Metal time

idk why every one is talking about their body count, but there is no statute of limitations for homicide

R-A-C-E T-R-8-R fits as knuckle tattoos in case anyone needed to know that

Limited edition so I will be putting this in my apocalypse hovel so it can be the last thing I eat on my final day on earth

Bro they are straight up fuckin on the playfield art for the 1993 "Bram Stoker's Dracula" licensed pinball game

Just called the pan I was scrubbing a dirty little slut. I think I need to touch grass.

Pre-workout more like diet cocaine

ngl.link/evienyx Going to drink some wine later, send me stuff to look through and answer when I am a giggling mess lol

Thirsty Thursday Time!!

I’m pretty sure the only thing safe to eat right now is pussy so …

*sipping a martini while listening to a podcast about a gruesome murder* wait, didn’t i used to have sex?

Going to start calling my fellow Asians "brothers and sisters in rice."

What’s with this new trend of posting butthole at certain follower counts?

How are all you cute lil hussies doing today? 💜💜💜

If that was my asshole, I would proudly show it off

🌱

Hot girl shit

ngl.link/evienyx Please be as weird as your lil hearts desire 💜😈💜

Don't talk to me or my giant son ever again

are we supposed to gargle balls in the morning or at night the dentist won’t tell me

*cuts crust off of peanut butter and jelly sandwich * I'm still punk

Turns out I am allergic to snake venom.

Migraine meds kicked in. If you need me, I'll be in my living room dancing with my cats.

ngl.link/evienyx Please be as weird as your lil hearts desire 💜😈💜

You swear you’re a virgin? Ok, this is gonna sound a little crazy but we need to throw you in the volcano

The Pearl With The Girl Earring by Olaf Falafel

Hello migraine my old friend, why are you fucking me yet again?

wearing pants in your own home is weird

It's weird because I don't get jealous about it but I always know when my wife has been out being flirty and getting hit on because she comes home and fucks me like I'm going out of business

ngl.link/evienyx Up way too early. Going back to sleep, try not to traumatize me too much 💜💜💜

I wonder if my dildo is thinking about me too

Bilbo in the streets, Gollum in the sheets 🐟

“Did you see two hobbits with them? They would be small, only shawties to your eyes”

Big boobs are great but have you seen small boobs? They're also great