Live strange, die mysteriously, leave a sinister pile of gloves behind

wE should play in my tunnel an my tube.

The time I save by having robots vacuum the floors is largely lost in picking up the cat toys, boxes, tubes, and paper bags. I live in a cats' house that allows human pets.

tHinkin about porch time. gOnna test the feel of the french airs before im decide.

I feel like the recipe for rice krispy treats used to ask for a lot more butter.

It would take 1.4 billion cats stacked on top of each other to reach the moon. But I've never been able to stack more than 3 or 4 cats so I just don't see it happening

I keep getting "impulse buy" texts from the company I paid thousands of dollars to move my stuff from LA to New York. They're all like "Fall is here!! 🍁 Want to move everything you own back to the west coast?"

being on the internet should be illegal

Europeans watching Zohran Mamdani's election

The kitten I've been fostering just committed her first random act of unrepentant criminal violence. I couldn't be more proud

Whenever I get a new follower I use their profile picture to create a tiny 1cm-tall homunculus that I add to my terrarium. They're free to run around in there and they have all the snacks and entertainment they desire. Unfortunately sometimes a spider gets in

interviewer: under skills you listed evading large predator animals me: that’s right you see any hippo or lion bites on me? interviewer: i see several bites on your arms me: those are from a beagle which we can agree is not a predator of man

trying to teach Simon how to do my job

More than a little surprised to see the newly tabled Federal Budget setting aside $3.8 million to "gettin' bizzzzaaaayyyyy". Be interesting to see what qualifies.

The time change doesn’t bother me. I always keep some daylight saved in a jar on my kitchen counter

Everyone in the carpool sitting silently in the car with our eyes closed for 10 minutes before going into the office

the ghost that haunts my house keeps bragging that he can go inside the microwave while it’s on, like i care

Hay mombe ware de luncheon fuds?

Turning on the radio wiv mi bum bum.

#cat #HjördisTheCat Here I am snoozing away on the same box from yesterday. So comfy... 😸😺💤💤💤😸💤💤💤😸💤💤💤😺😸

Coworkers act like they don't want you to fill their car with stick insects, but secretly they do

A late galah for headless bird Halloween #photography #birds

Met this beauty after my run this morning ☺️🪶

Red vented bulbul from Abu Dhabi #birds

remembering it's cabbage night and running to the grocery store in a panic

I hoped it wouldn't come to this but you've left me no choice [reverses belt from brown to black]

handing out candy has been a two person effort since we need one person to give out candy and one person to keep the cats inside

tfw you suddenly wake up at 2am

don't remember what this was

israel wasted its money making this anti-'hamas algorithm' tv commercial because israelis are so fucking proud of every single thing they do they brag about it and post proof and congratulations. hamas is lying about shit you're bragging about? how does THAT work?

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

"If everything is spooktacular, then nothing is spooktacular." —Friedrich Nietzsche

Me: Sometimes I'll start microwaving my leftovers, then go pee *while* the thing's in the microwave. You just gotta get back before it starts beeping Forbes Profiler: And this is another form of DanMaxxing? Me: It's another form of DanMaxxing, exactly

Gonna be super-productive today, and not waste hours watching Youtube videos that don't even--- hang on...

yOu are stayin up too late. hOw can we snuggle if you do not obey bed times?

Don’t blame me, I have never said or thought anything

Life With Cats #cats #cat #kitty #kitties #catmemes #catlover #catlovers #catsofbluesky #kittiesofbluesky

#cat #HjördisTheCat Another Monday, another nap. There's a definite pattern here, furiends.... 😸😺💤💤😸💤💤😺💤💤😸

Honey is the cozy queen (and also the boss). #CatSky

attackula with my dacula!!!! #cat #cats #catsofbluesky

No paparazzi please ✋😹 #cats #catsofbluesky #cute #gato

These days, it's not so easy to find an empty phone booth in which the phone starts ringing as you stroll by and you feel compelled to answer it and thus get sent on a mysterious and dangerous mission that only you can solve

If you’re currently lost in a corn maze, your best bet is going to be hunkering down for the night

If you can't eat a varied diet to get the nutrients you need you can find someone who did and eat them

Does anyone know what my plan is, or if I have one

There are many times of day

Day three of “come back” emails from an online store after looking at a product

Blissfully napping on a sunny #Caturday 🩵🐾 #cats #catsofbsky #catsky #wobblycat