I don’t understand how people can run for office knowing they have insane baggage and/or crimes. Like I spent the entire campaign expecting AIPAC to somehow dig up my middle school livejournal fanfic account. I prepared my family for it. I’m still amazed it didn’t happen.

Real idea: As part of the effort to get DC and PR statehood, next Dem president should invent about State Weeks. Each of the 52 states gets its own celebration week every year. A random July week is Montana week. Tourism bonanzas. Televised lottery every year for week placement. We ain't above this.

Every State Should do this…. “Michigan is now SUING the big oil 'cartel' for artificially driving up energy prices and colluding to suppress renewable energy and electric vehicles. GOOD.”

We Will We Will Rock You... 🌈

Maple syrup is amazing because it’s just a socially acceptable way to drench a full plate of food in sugar water. Outstanding work Canada.

As a Pennsylvanian whose major warning signs of a heel turn were a dude wearing shorts and a hoodie all the time (relatable), I’m very jealous of the people of Maine getting so many clues that this may not be their guy before it’s too late.

ANGIE CRAIG: I don't think you understand the difference between error rates and fraud rates. I honestly don't. SNAP has one of the lowest fraud rates of any program BROOKE ROLLINS: You can't be serious when you say that CRAIG: Your own data says that

Things that no longer interest me: 1. Learning a new password 2. Resetting a password 3. Being told my new password is too similar to my old password

Album cover for a scary seeming band your older sibling listens to and then you finally play the album one day and it’s just ska

the homophobic comments under sports teams or brands posts about pride goes to show one reason for why there is a pride month in the first place.

Kpop Demon Hunters continues to dominate the primary school kid birthday party theme market.

what did he know

The UFC white house card is bad enough but it's even worse knowing they are absolutely gonna have the entire crowd sing him happy birthday whilst dana white wraps a custom belt around his waist

I'm like 99% sure that if we elected the black lady, we wouldn't be erecting a UFC venue on the White House lawn, thereby degrading it from a once stately mansion where we house the most powerful elected official in the country. #IsHeDeadYet

I like this site and I think people who have a really hard time here are kind of babies. Sometimes I get yelled at on here and some of those times people don’t have a point, but who cares? If anything, I should evangelize for this site more as the last place on the internet I still learn stuff.

Every summer I repost this article on how to spot drowning. Please read it and pass on. In the last few years I’ve had SIX messages from people who saved a kid’s life after clicking on the link from my feed. slate.com/technology/2...

Just got out and if you love Star Wars movies you'll love the Mandalorian and Grogu. Trailers didn't sell it. Reviews I've read are overly critical. Laser action. Puppet action. Giant slug action. It's all happening.

i need star wars to jump forward like 200 years in time. partly because it'd free up new stories and characters, but more fundamentally, we need a long period of peace in this universe. we need to know that the heroes' various actions were worth something.

At the theater tonight, I was catching up with someone I know about current work projects, and, in reference to my background in both horror and holiday films, he asked me, "...so are you currently killing or caroling?" Reader, when I tell you this question made my whole damn evening.

I regret to inform you that the president is awake and crazy-posting

turns out it was a bit of a whoopsie to focus on low level j6 rioters rather than throwing the ring leaders in jail immediately and tossing the keys. oh well, better luck next time!

Speaking to parents of kids I coach, and the misremembering of what they were like as a 5-6 year old is gas. NONE of us had the attention span people believe we had, nor the hand eye coordination. Just no, kids aren't any worse than 30 years ago. They're KIDS.

I miss having a President of the United States.

every time “birth rates” come up in the discourse eventually someone remembers its because teenagers arent really getting pregnant anymore and then we all go “oh yea” until we forget again a few weeks later and start all over again

The face of someone who’s devoted their life to service, science and space exploration needing to listen to some draft-dodging, out-of-shape bozo brag that he easily could’ve been an astronaut.

Bingo! It’s their common denominator.

He never had the money to pay for the ballroom. It was always a scam. We were always going to have to pay for it. They were just waiting for the right moment to hit us with the bill. This is now the time.

This never used to happen to me, but nowadays my health insurance company will send me letters to be like, "Good news! We approved the procedure your doctor ordered!" Like. With much disrespect, fuck you health insurance companies. MY DOCTOR ORDERED SOMETHING FOR MY HEALTH, YOU DON'T GET TO SAY NO

"I know you're trying to watch the NBA and I'm sorry. Steal your parents Peacock password like everyone else" St Louis NBC Chanel 5 weather man reporting on a confirmed tornado in Clinton County, Illinois. #stlwx

There are many other problems with men right now but one that I've noticed most recently is the number of middle aged men who just walk straight out of the toilet without washing their hands.

Is there someone dead in the lobby or is there someone in custody? Was the person armed or not? Did he make it into the ballroom or not? Usually there should be a pretty wide grace period on finding this out, but there are literally hundreds of reporters in the room and nobody knows shit.

There's a tradition of film directors and studios congratulating each other for beating their box office records. In 1977, when STAR WARS beat Jaws to become the highest-grossing movie ever, Steven Spielberg took out the below ad for George Lucas in @Variety 1/11

Trump completely passed out, reawakened, then passed out again during today's pressor in the Oval Office. 😂🤣👇

Trump is about to hit REM on camera during an Oval Office event. It's just incredible.

I was on one today. There was a group of guys next to us who were talking shit after “Lift Every Voice and Sing.” I knife handed those assholes and told them to STFU. Also told some obnoxious Ravens fans behind us to STFU. I am entering my grumpy old man phase. I love this for me.

When your dog notices that you're sad and offers you his favorite toy to comfort you...🥹♥️

There’s a dude on instagram listening to his grandfather’s music collection that he inherited. Today it was the 1992, self titled album “Rage against the machine”. Fuck. I’m old.

So what he's admitting is that it's his Ef’n fault-make this make sense…

Yes, Swiss scientist Fritz Zwicky coined the term “dark matter” which is impressive, but he also coined the term “spherical bastard” to describe people who are bastards no matter which way you look at them, and I think that should be celebrated more.

AP: Trump’s acting attorney general signed an order reclassifying state-licensed medical marijuana as a less-dangerous drug, a major policy shift long sought by advocates who said cannabis should never have been treated like heroin by the federal government.

watching the Jersey Mike’s worker make my sandwich

A rando at the grocery store told me to smile and be happy. I said to him, No.

"the rule of law, checks and balances and the peaceful transition of power..." www.scientificamerican.com/article/ex-n...