When Trump said he wasn’t woke, the man wasn’t kidding.

Can someone please explain to how the starving of children and the grounding of planes makes America great and not some cruel, disorganized, second-rate, suck-ass nation?

The only things Trump should have his name on are failed casinos and Epstein flight logs.

The Supreme Court just upheld the administration’s desire to withhold food payments to our neediest citizens. Every day, we are becoming a crueler, less generous, less compassionate nation.

I don’t know much about MAGA. Just that they love leaders who are “high energy” and “not sleepy.”

The vigorous leader who nicknamed his opponent “Sleepy.”

How bad must you smell for paid lackeys to cover their nose on camera?

High energy

One of these two men is physically and cognitively unfit to be President. The other is Joe Biden.

The leader of the free world hard at work.

“Yes one of my workers is being revived from the brink of death by defibrillator paddles. But WHAT ABOUT ME?”

“So where was I? Oh right, the War on Chicago.”

And you were surprised he doesn’t care about the poor and hungry?

“Would you just die already so I can go back to ranting about minorities.”

You can’t say he doesn’t show compassion and empathy for his fellow humans. No wait, actually you can always say that.

This would be disgusting and heartless if it’s how he treated some stranger at a rally. But someone passed out in HIS OFFICE.

No kings. Yes democracy, freedom & affordability.

Yes!

Starving 42 million Americans while throwing yourself a Great Gatsby party. This is how, when, and why civilizations crumble.

Defying a court order & starving his hungriest citizens while spending $250 million of taxpayer money on a new ballroom. Good choice, America!

I think I’ve finally “made it” as a liberal influencer since MAGA commenters now respond to each of my pro-democracy tweets by telling me how fat I’ve gotten. Thanks y’all. I feel so seen. 🙏

If this doesn’t end soon, we may need to reach deeeeep into the bullpen.

Have you ever noticed that the only people Trump ever calls “low IQ” are Latino women and Black women? This guy’s as racist and misogynist as he is mentally addled.

Imagine being so cognitively impaired that you thought it was an IQ test.

If this were your grandparent, you’d take his keys to the Chevy, not hand him the keys to the nuclear football.

Remember when the president was a president for all Americans. Not just those of the states that voted for them.

Time for a fun reminder that Trump lost 61 lawsuits trying to prove election fraud in 2020.

I never thought I’d live long enough to see the GOP become pro-Russia and anti-Reagan.

Thieves used a lift to cut through a second story window and steal $100 million of rare jewels from the Louvre. And still, this larceny isn’t nearly as brazen as Trump trying to seize $230 million from the Justice Department.

Amazing finish. “It’s a great day to be alive and be a Bruin.” #uclabruins #GoBruins #8Clap #4sUp

Things I want in Studio City: Peaceful protests and trains that serve hot dogs. Things I don’t want in Studio City: Kings, Fascists, and Cheeto-colored creeps from the Epstein Files.

A heroin addict, a sex offender, a dog killer, and a 34-times convicted felon walk into a bar. And the bartender says, “Sorry folks, we don’t allow Trump Cabinet meetings here. This is a reputable establishment .”

The GOP is in charge of the House The GOP is in charge of the Senate The GOP is in charge of the White House The GOP: “The Democrats shut down the government!”

Cheeto Hitler gave a speech so weird and unhinged it almost made the generals nostalgic for the one by Drunky McAsshole.

I suppose anything is possible. But I’d bet my house that the only person in that room in the Epstein Files was the one doing the pontificating.

When a 91 times indicted, 34 times convicted felon lectures career patriots on “service to America.”

I’m certain this general will lose his job. But sometimes you just can’t help expressing what we’re all feeling.

Could you imagine a roomful of decorated career soldiers having to listen to the rambling nonsense of a draft dodging con man? And they not even be the worst speech they heard that morning.

I’ve been to Portland twice. Did I see “war?” Not exactly. Though one vegan waiter did raise an eyebrow when I ordered foie gras. Does that count?

Cheeto Hitler wants you to believe the streets of Portland are violent and unsafe. I wore a Dodgers shirt in the Northwest and no one fucked with me. The streets are neither violent or unsafe.

I know that the Tangerine Traitor said that Portland was "ravaged by war." But maybe what he meant to say was "ravaged by carbs and fun things to do."

War Ravaged” Portland. Here we were gassing our rental Subaru to escape the front lines.

Here we were entering this famous American “war zone.” It’s a miracle we made it out alive considering how many donuts we ate and how many hard-covered books we purchased.