Could you have ever imagined a president suing his own government and receiving a 1.8 billion dollar slush fund & full tax immunity? Yes. In Hungary. But never in America.

It’s not every day a democracy sets aside a 2 billion dollar slush fund to bail out insurrectionists who tried violently overturning that democracy.

Ask yourself, why would Trump spend millions to drive off a GOP congressman who wanted to release the Epstein Files? The cover up may not be worse than the crime. But both are beyond odious.

don’t know a ton about government financing. And even I know the President isn’t supposed to have tax immunity and his own government-funded slush fund. How is this happening in broad daylight?

The grifter who somehow bankrupted 3 casinos has now turned the American government into his own personal piggy bank. And Congress, the courts, and the IRS have let him get away with all of it. Disgraceful.

I just deposited three WGA residual checks for a grand total of… 14 cents. Who says the sitcom is dead?

I've been LA for over 60 years. I've lived through fires, earthquakes, riots, mudslides, and Donald Sterling owning the Clippers. But the one thing I don't think I could survive-- in fact, I'm sure of it-- is a Spencer Pratt administration. That would be one disaster too many.

Last night, Trump posted to Truth Social FIFTY-FIVE TIMES between the hours of 10 and 1. All were unhinged conspiracy theories accusing Hillary, Obama, and Comey of treason. Why is anyone pretending that the president isn’t seriously, unquestionably mentally ill?

Late in the middle of last night, Trump angrily accused President Obama of persecuting his political rivals, overturning an election, and profiting from his presidency. Editor’s note: Obama did none of those things. Editor’s note 2: Trump has done all of these things.

Trump is the President of the United States and yet he’s still begging for a pat on the head for coining the term, “Dumbocrats.” As thoroughly odious as he is, I’d hate to meet his parents. They created a well of neediness that can never be filled.

There is no amount of fake FIFA medals or wars he’s imagined halting that can fill the massive hole in this character’s soul.

Joe Biden rambles during a debate answer. Media: Get him out of office! Joe Biden doesn’t recognize George Clooney at a party. Media: 25th Amendment! Donald Trump sleeps through every cabinet meeting & televised address. Media: It’s okay, he’s an older gentleman. Be kind.

Donald Trump PROMISED that: Mexico would pay for the Wall. Private donors would pay for the Ballroom. Guess who’s paying for both? The American taxpayer. Guess who Donald Trump doesn’t give 2 shits about? The American taxpayer.

Literally the same meeting where he was bragging about how incredibly healthy he is. But yes, write more books about Biden once not instantly recognizing George Clooney in a crowded room.

How much do you want to bet that the “great giant deal” Trump eventually strikes with Iran will be the exact same deal Obama negotiated- just much, much worse?

History will laugh uproariously when informed that this guy was returned to office by the American people, 88 criminal charges and all, by labeling his opponent “Sleepy.”

Donald Trump is nothing new in American life. He’s a direct descendant of the snake oil salesmen on the frontier- the kind you’d often see on Bonanza or Gunsmoke. The difference: those grifters were outed by episode’s end, not voted back into White House. Again. Still remarkable.

“All wars are long” is not the answer to why we’re still in a war of choice. And why we’re still fighting a war you declared finished after the first week.

Some mornings I wake up and I’m struck by the fact that Trump has fucked up so many new things that nobody talks about January 6th anymore.

Trump’s approval rating on “Cost of Living” has plummeted to 24%- a number it’s almost impossible to go lower than. You know, “Cost of Living” the exact same issue that people who voted for Trump put him back in office to fix.

No. No one says that. Except the same guy who brags every day about being able to identify a squirrel.

Another night class nearby. Another day game at the Big A. And since I don’t yet own any Halos’ gear, I figured my Social D shirt was the closest I had to proper O.C. attire.

America forced out a President because they feared he was cognitively-challenged. And their answer is the “Which is the squirrel” guy??

The picture of health

Could there be anything more enjoyable than watching Trump in the Oval Office trying to identify a squirrel?

Who is gonna tell him that no president has taken a cognitive test because no president has needed to take a cognitive test?

I’m not sure that’s how it works

Holy shit, he's bragging about the same cognitive test again. Which is all the proof we need that he needs another cognitive test.

It takes a special kind of fanatic to believe Trump could’ve been an astronaut and a major league ballplayer, but refuse to believe 24 women with first-hand knowledge that he’s a rapist and a pedophile.

Trump claims to have been recruited by both the Red Sox and the Phillies. Because you know how MLB teams are always seeking out prospects with incurable bone spurs.

If Mark Watney knew he had this ceremony waiting for him on Earth, he’d have chosen to die on Mars.

Now do the one where you count backwards from 2…

Never have 4 people more wished they were still in the deepest, darkest recesses of outer space.

Haven’t checked the news yet — has the FBI arrested any suspicious seashell artists today?

This week, we’ve been told that Donald Trump was once physically fit enough to be an astronaut AND a pro baseball prospect, yet somehow bone spurs 5 times precluded him from serving like most men of his generation.

Not to be insensitive, but remembering your animals might be a big deal in the dementia ward, but it’s not dispositive proof you should lead the Free World.

A grown man knows the difference between a shark and a giraffe and he acts like he just won the Jeopardy Tournament of Champions.

Way to go MAGA, there’s your intellectual leader again bragging that he can name 4 animals.

If you’re the President, knowing the difference between Medicare and Medicaid probably shouldn’t qualify as unnecessary “details.”

Am I old school for thinking that something explicitly enumerated in the Constitution is what makes it constitutional?

He’s acting like he got a perfect score on the LSAT All he did was identify a drawing of an elephant.

If you confuse your dementia test for an IQ test, we get why you need a dementia test.

Allow me to translate for those new to Trump-speak. If he says that Barack Obama or Joe Biden are "cognitively challended," it means, with absolute moral certainty that Donald Trump is cognitively challenged. His projection skills are undefeated.