Woke up dainty af again

HER: once you’re in the family, there’s no getting out. Capisce? ME: *whispering to my boyfriend* what kind of Olive Garden is this?

Any funds donated to @AncomAnthony on Venmo will go directly to the wellbeing of my twondisabled trans partners i provide for(including @astralin.sisc.one!) donations are appreciated greatly and rewarded with kitty pictures venmo.com/code?user_id...

Fuck ai. Fuck Ukraine. Fuck zelenskyy. Fuck israel. Fuck trump. Fuck musk. Fuck Dems. Fuck Republicans. Fuck CNN and MSNBC. Fuck fox news. Fuck the Senate and the House. Fuck the scotus and the executive branch of dysfunction. Fuck all of it.

Maybe I’ll sleep when my baby graduates from high school

your honor, what's the wifi

Before you swipe right on anyone, you need to swipe right on yourself first bro.

My vagina is a load-bearing wall.

As a courtesy, I always try to conceal my venom as politely as possible.

growing a gf in my backyard

Deadlifting 850lbs right as the chorus of Party in the USA hits

watering my penis

Back in my day we had hope for the future

exact is short for exactually

Getting road head on a bicycle

First date idea: I keep farting and vehemently refuse to stop

watching other countries ban fascists from public office and successfully impeach incompetent leaders

A glory hole for compliments

No woman here owes you anything, not even a response. Delete your account, put down the booze and talk to a therapist.

Oh you're damaged like me..even better.

Do you find it difficult to drink only one cup of coffee at a time, or are you a non human robot

Can't really engage with a findom without some fin

coming to the conclusion that she wasn’t born at all much less with it

I'm just saying, if she shows up to our date in clown makeup it's not a dealbreaker

Fuck nudes. I wanna know some of the most vulnerable lyrics that touch your soul.

You don't really know me, if you haven't watched me eat lasagna

Sure, Vitamin C's crazy, but Vitamin D's nuts

still not sure why I have to light people’s pants on fire for lying but I suppose someone’s gotta do it

growing a gf in my backyard

watering my penis

hey perverts, what are some good perversions for someone who is just starting to get into being a pervert

Words really can’t describe the sexual gratification one feels upon reaching 4k followers, but okay, heck, I’ll give it a shot: chunky

Cumming from one stroke like a samurai drawing his sword

The left needs a Joe Rogan who is 300 feet tall and plays a tiny little fiddle. And when he gets angry he huffs and puffs but he's calmed down by a good friend who is a regular-sized elephant but looks teeny by comparison. Just absolutely itsy bitsy. And both of them are extremely anti-circumcision.

you're in her dms, she's in the dsm

I am just about ready to runaway to Nigeria and marry that prince.

I never feel safe because I’m always thinking I could get appendicitis at any moment

The Rehearsal has me sitting at the gate trying to break the ice between the pilot and copilot

It’s starting to feel like those destinations aren’t really all that final.

Someday you shit on the clock other days the clock shits on you

Progressive's "don't become your parents" bit... but it's for how you've been posting to social media lately