Remember, hard work is far more scared of you than you are of it.

Super hungry and ordering Chinese food. There’s about to be some wonton destruction.

Made missing posters of all our house guests for the Halloween party this year.

Feels like no matter how much daylight we save, the darkness still persists.

I’m a simple gal; I like my houses haunted, my books cursed, and my bargains Faustian.

Went as Queen of de-Nile for Halloween this year.

Happy Halloween from Jornathan and I. 💀

The best self care tip is to go for a walk. All the way to the nearest bookstore.

A jury of my peers? You mean 12 depressed millennials who can’t afford the life they never asked for?

It’s so hawt when people use the Oxford comma. 🔥 🔥 🔥

My husband once asked if I’d like to cancel our plans in favour of just staying home on the couch in our sweatpants and I’ve never loved him more than I did in that moment.

A witch claimed she could turn me into a sea bird, but I’m not that gullible.

My birthstone is a babybel.

Making a huge personal sacrifice to the Old Gods in exchange for unfathomable power. Anyone want anything?

Self care tips: Hydrate Take breaks Lay waste to your enemies Go for a walk

Come aboard Let's sing a lament The world isn't round It's twisted and bent

God knew I would be too powerful if I had a strong work ethic, motivation, discipline, resilience, optimism, adaptability, confidence, drive, ambition, patience, self-awareness, positivity, emotional regulation, desire to improve, commitment, focus, energy, persistence, determina

The lion does not concern himself with the emails finding him.

My sense of humour oscillates between a 13 year old boy and a 40 year old dad. There is no inbetween.

When Shakespeare invents words everyone is impressed, but when I do it you all just insurate me.

Marriage is pretty glorious when you’re with the right person.

“AI is coming for your job.” AI is going to stare at an empty page for 8 hours while crying into its ramen cup and referring to itself as a writer?

We have entered the heater-in-the-morning-AC-in-the-afternoon part of the season.

Me: hey I’ve noticed you across the cemetery and I really like your vibe. Crow: *various crow noises*

I wish mornings weren’t so early.

Maybe we can just rent our mistakes for a bit.

There is poetry in everyone.

Let the bodies hit the bed Let the bodies hit the bed Let the bodies hit the bed Let the bodies hit the bed Sleepy, why for Can't wake much more

The greatest wisdom is compassion.

I’m not like other girls, I say, as I get into a bathtub full of cheese wearing a hat made of nachos.

Set phasers to stunned at the lack of compassion in the world.

“SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!” - me getting all my vaccines

How’s everyone dressing for the rapture? Is business casual ok or should I wear something more formal? Serious replies only please.

Just cleaned up my following list, if you’re still on it it’s because I’m not done with you yet. Your time will come…

Piano Man is pretty wild if you think about it. Imagine going to a bar and calling everyone out with a little diss track you wrote about them.

I will rise again like a phoenix that took a 20 min nap that turned into 4 hours and then very groggily got up.

You know what could have prevented this? Gun reform.

Thoughts and prayers.

My flex is that I can have a good night of sleep and still be exhausted.

Coming in October, two hilarious space opera adventure adventures! Preorder at chainedspace.com. For a chance at free signed copies of both books and a $100 Amazon gift card, like, repost, and comment with your favorite emoji. 📚🪐 Ends Sept 29. See chainedspace.com for contest rules. #booksky