Naval ships always shoot at each other during a ceasefire. Any West Point grad will tell you this.

If Melania wants Jimmy Kimmel fired for hateful rhetoric, someone should introduce her to her husband

July 21 1935: The Führer orders a new reception hall and ballroom to "entertain foreign diplomats" at the Chancellery. Underneath the dance floor is an air raid shelter. A 2nd deeper bunker is built next to this in 1944, where he would spend his last days as the Reich collapsed.

Trump says "The Pope is weak on crime" I say "it’s not the Pope’s fault you’re not in prison Donald"

Mel Gibson pictured with his doctor in 2004

Should be part of his next test.

If you think the Pope is a radical leftist, wait till you meet his boss.

"I'd like to gavel in today's board meeting of the American Medical Association...."

I reckon JD Vance is in the running for the FIFA Diplomacy Prize.

If Trump thinks the pope is too woke and soft on crime wait til he hears about Jesus

all I’m saying is that next year my fantasy football team name will be "Pope Leo is soft on crime."

Do Americans know that their Vice President was in Hungary campaigning for a Putin ally to be reelected, instead of in DC during a war in which Putin is helping Iran target Americans?

“I’m sick of the fact that threats of a nuclear holocaust are now routine because our president is a terrorist who has a bowl of oatmeal for a brain.” www.sfgate.com/politics/art...

Chills and teary eyes. We really strap people to big fucking rockets and send them to space. It’s insane every time. And it’s generally safe because of brilliant people and math.

The Conference of Catholic Bishops is... not playing around in this brief. www.supremecourt.gov/DocketPDF/25...

His projection is so transparent.

This one hits hard.

I spent my childhood inside of American concentration camps. I know one when I see one. And that is what ICE is building.

YES I WROTE ABOUT THE FINAL JEOPARDY WIZARDRY www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv...

Trump posted a video depicting the first Black president and his wife as apes and his excuse for this is that it's a riff on The Lion King, a movie that does not feature any apes. Somehow this was a one-day story and we've already moved on.

Fellow citizens, the U.S. Secretary for Health and Human Services and the chief guardian of our physical well-being for the next three years.

When you get visited by three Puerto Rican ghosts

Crucially, many local governments are furious with ICE over these purchases, because they were not consulted or even told. Because they are federal property now, it's taking a commercial property off the tax rolls while likely imposing dramatic additional infrastructure costs.

Fun fact: The divorce scene in the Kid Rock show was an actual divorce showing a wife leaving her conservative husband.

Not to be outdone, Kid Rock gave his Grammy to an ICE agent. JK, guys! Kid Rock doesn’t have any Grammys.

OK "god bless america" and then naming every country in the americas from south to north is absolute king shit

Out today— DOJ Meltdown: “The system sucks. This job sucks.” A cautionary tale for all of us. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l...

Yes, FBI? I’m calling to report a murder.

Didn't this happen in My Cousin Vinny?

'measles outbreak at the child prison' seems entirely avoidable, it's really the kind of thing that only happens if you do several unthinkably evil things on purpose all at once

Democrats Sick Of Being Blamed For Cowardice On Issues They Actually Just Don’t Care About https://theonion.com/democrats-sick-of-being-blamed-for-cowardice-on-issues-1847675639/

The Columbia Heights school district says ICE detained four of its students, including a 5-year-old boy, as "bait" to draw out family members.

So is Trump’s plan to put troops in our streets to gun down American citizens for protesting. While at the same time promoting the right to protest in Iran? Huh?

More than 200,000 Danish citizens have signed a petition to buy California as a response to Trump’s attempt to take Greenland. They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”

Kristi Noem On Renée Good Murder: ‘We Will Find The Immigrant Who Did This’

.................

To be clear - this implies that if you're what they deem a "smug" woman, you deserve to be shot in the face three times

Cowboy fans tomorrow. #Eagles #49ers #nfl #NFL #nflmemes #Wildcard #Simpsons

The more I study and learn about the Constitution and our government, the more I believe that the higher up you go in our government, the more adherence to various laws and restrictions is entirely voluntary.

Fact-Checking The Trump Administration On Venezuela https://theonion.com/fact-checking-the-trump-administration-on-venezuela/

I don't know who needs to hear this, but cops are not allowed to shoot people just because you didn't do what they said. That is called murder when they do that. Some cops are working hard to convince people otherwise.

Just a small note from the annals of parental loss, I beg y'all to put together a comprehensive document for your family of where your assets are and how things like that work in your head.

"America is an oil company with an army." —George Carlin

I feel like Trump is jealous of Obama for taking out Bin Laden. He wants his own heavily publicized victory against a monstrous enemy of the people who killed huge numbers of U.S. citizens. More than oil or anything else he wants the optics of quickly and (for us) painlessly taking out an "enemy".

Marco Rubio is reportedly saying Maduro will stand trial in US courts. Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.