The Knicks victory is generating so much passion and excitement that if it ran in a primary election, Establishment Democrats would not support it.

Pretty neat that Trump has to step down and Mamdani gets to be president now

KNICKS IN FIVE LETS GO

We’re all more stressed than we have been in 1,000 years. You ain’t special, fault lines.

I just left my screening of Obsession where one person filmed the screen the whole movie from the front row, no less than 6 people were just ON their phones, and two separate people either narrated or guessed what would happen the whole time. I love the movies but it is a miserable experience now.

however much you hate billionaires is not enough

All Dogs Are Boys All Cats Are Girls All Trucks are Ford F-150s

And here we go. Already Ive been tricked into sending my penis to three of these so called "Group chats". I now have no choice but to shut down my alt where I pretend to be a 36 yr old Sex Worker from Brooklyn, offering my calloused, world weary perspective interspersed with moments of gentle warmth

KNICKS HOLY

I would watch the hell out of this movie

Turns out I was not nor will I ever be emotionally prepared to hear Leslie Odom Jr. to sing “Without You.”

THE JELLICLE BALL WAS ROBBED

Told my wife today “I’d get a Carly Rae Jepsen tattoo” and she went “I know.” And it’s always nice to find new ways to see love.

Ah, man this sucks. RIP Giles.

Incredible choice to put a bunch of super popular phrases and a beloved politician on the cover and say “gotta fight back on this”.

We need a new Emmy category specifically for Matthew Rhys’ insane facial expressions in Widow’s Bay.

Tulsi Gabbard taught me it was ok to be weird

Job hunt getting dire, gotta start selling hantavirus to pay the bills

At brunch today, a guy at the next table had an AI slop photo of Jesus in his crown of thorns doing a crossover dribble in a Celtics jersey as his phone lock screen and somehow he was just allowed to be in society. Wild times.

Now I’m just a regular guy but if someone fired a dang missile at me, I’d think maybe the fire has no longer ceased. But again, I’m not a giant moron so.

This is incredible

You mean to tell me all those times I was exchanging steamy DMs with Elon Musk’s mom, it was actually… no… no no no no

Check out this level 10 wizard ass stick I pulled out of my bushes today. You shall not pass type shit over here.

Imagine going back in there and just having dinner lol

He’s Running

What in the Elden Ring boss is going on in the background?

The Pope will never get an EGOT. He doesn’t have the range to get a Grammy, let alone a Tony. I don’t want a Pope who can’t transition from screen to stage and stay consistent. EGOTs are for titans of the field and the Pope doesn’t have it!

Did a large spider the size of my palm write this?

Love that we’re just getting Armageddon groundhog updates now. The pedophile has spoken! Two more weeks of survival!

This is real

yeah man i'll circle back to you on that agenda item from yesterday's all hands in just a sec. our pedophile king just threatened to destroy a whole civilization

Moments away from finding out if this was prophecy

It’s Stefan’s and it’s not close.

Yearly reminder that April Fools is the day that people who aren't comedians show us why.

There is no ethical consumption of HBO’s Harry Potter series

We do not have to do this, folks.

I think we gave filming podcasts a fair enough shake and can stop now!

Vaxxed???

This dreadful book banning bill, H.R. 7661, has made it out of committee and into the House. It's time to call your reps.

It's deeply funny to me when the NYT has an article about anything normal like "Winter is over, how cities are prepping for spring" and some 60 year old with "NO DMS!" in their profile replies "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PEDOPHILES? WHY IS THIS NEWS?" Please hold 2 thoughts in your head at once, Susan.

A woman just now came up to the register w/ a $28 hardcover, flinched at the total, said "I'll pass for now, I can get it online" and when I pushed back and asked her to please not buy it from Amazon, she said "have you seen gas prices, I can't afford a $30 book" and folks I think we're in trouble.

Hey friends! After more than a decade of putting books in libraries for the whole of the country, Penguin Random House has eliminated my position. I’m officially leaving the company at the end of the month. Not sure what’s next for me but I’m excited to explore my options in this next chapter!

The only good influencer in the world, Victoria Javadi on The Pitt, definitely gonna post that ICE video and become The Hero We Need.