We’re gonna need a smaller tent

there's still time for Andy Dick to make In Memoriam

Oscar nominees, RANKED  1. It Was Just a Sick Ollie 2. The Flower That Drank the Moon 3. Timmy's Time 4. Crazy from the Heat 5. The Battle of Shaker Heights 6. G.R.E.E.N. 7. Tank Top 8. No Sé Español, Pero Probablemente Sea Bueno 9. Max's Big Deal 10. F1

OK, this Tucker Carlson impression on Saturday Night Live last night is uncanny! Has all the verbal tics and go-to phrases down, and nails the high-pitch cackle.

When the Clash got REAL militant

It's gloomy in Chicago today, but thankfully tonight Hollywood will shine brightly for us all

"The war on Iran is bad because of the price of eggs." Get it together, Democrats. I am begging you, a not particularly big guy with tears in my eyes.

hi speaking as a narrative lead on a GOTY and long time builder of VO pipelines, this has literally been a solved problem for ages with text to speech and other tools so we haven’t ever needed evil shit like genAI for this solved ass problem. This is basic shit.

No fucking way

New from me in @mcsweeneys.net!

Imagine being a shady hack who calls himself "The Woke Ginger." God, these dark money-funded influencers are insufferable.

BASKETBALL FACTS: There have only been eight Japanese-born players in NBA history, so the Bulls-Lakers game currently on features a quarter of all Japanese NBA players ever (Yuri Kawamura and Rui Hachimura). #basketballfacts

This took me out IG real_timmeadows “So many roles, I barely remember them.”

Wow I can really see why it’s so important to stay on twitter

I met with AI data labelers in Kenya who are organizing their colleagues to fight the brutal working conditions and horrible pay given to the workers at the "bottom of the AI supply chain." They believe the NDAs they've signed are unenforceable so are speaking out: www.404media.co/ai-is-africa...

"Imagine they had dogs, or bees, or dogs with bees in their mouths and when they barked they shot bees at you!"

Karp always delivers, he can't help himself and rants openly about Palantir's bloodlust and war-profiteering. He's been doing this for years. Anyone who speaks seriously about Palantir should be shunned. They are what Karp says they are.

I don't think any political ideology is completely inoculated from antisemitism, but c'mon the person described here is not a progressive/leftist/liberal or whatever. they're that weirdly common kind of swing voter who just likes maverick types of literally any ideology.

Making the dinner announcement at Davos

Laker Fans Furious As Bam Adebayo Dies In Even Worse Helicopter Crash

You probably know that you can't inherently trust the things AI chatbots say, but it seems like a lot of people don't understand that also extends to things the bots say about themselves.

This makes me think of that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the guy does all that fancy sword and martial arts stuff and then Indy shoots him. variety.com/2026/politic...

He thinks he's saying that middle-class types only hate AI because it's going to take their jobs, while the proletariat become rich, relatively, and therefore should rise up and request, nay, DEMAND that tech companies be allowed to do whatever they want.  Fact check: absolute fucking bollocks.

They’re going to teach them how to get hit in the head and then go on podcasts

What a great update, he is despised by everyone! Remember: don’t give any credit to Republicans for just not liking Trump. Is there anything easier to do?? He’s an unlikeable guy! Anyway sorry to these dogs

I mean, people don't like the prequels because they're clunky and frequently dull and sorta racist, not because they failed to pass a fact check.

Okay, I’ve sent this many, many places the last 18 months and have gotten no bites. Would any editor be interested in a feature about how Rugby has a six year window to really capitalize on the chance to have an explosion of interest and success in the U.S. and how that could be done?

I don't think grammarly should just get to do "sorry deleting now" after ventriloquizing living and dead people without their consent to make money

the funniest part of the kobe-bam discourse is the implicit assumption that kobe came by his 81 naturally in the flow of the game rather than the truth, which is that kobe would have killed a teammate in full view of the crowd if any one of them took a shot

From a thread about great Douglas Adams quotes. I think about this one *a lot* these days.

An entire generation has been convinced online that Kobe Bryant was “found innocent,” and I cannot express how much that did not happen. His victim stopped cooperating with prosecutors because she was getting so much harassment, and he begged her to settle.

Ethics and/or utility of such a "product" aside, all these "AI startups" are a fucking joke. They're usually just using GPT or Claude. They are allegedly worth a billion dollars because they write prompts. And while this article is paywalled, I bet they're still losing money.

??? why is RFK Jr. going to the doctor for a surgery when he could simply eat a variety of weird meats at his injury

Mo off the top rope

Jaylen Brown got ejected from a game ten minutes ago and is apparently already talking about it on Twitter. We salute a True Poster.

I'm aware @officialgrammarly.bsky.social has said people can opt out of this, THAT IS ALSO ENRAGING. LLMs have already coopted and stole and plundered creative people's work, now we also have to contact YOU after you steal our identities? Fuck all the way off with that! It's MORE THEFT YOU CLOWNS

well is frakkin enraging @officialgrammarly.bsky.social this is wrong, you absolute clowns who are also thieves, STOP DOING THIS GRAMMARLY every time I think these LLM thieves have enraged me the absolute most, they go further 🌋🤮

to r/micropenis—Just Saw An Edward (guy with normal penis size) Fuck Up Trying To Flatten A Cardboard Box By The Dumpster...They Are So Lost

oh i...i wasn't prepared honestly whew Lord

and notice how he doesn't form a commission to outlaw doing steroids and jacking off

‘This guy is going to destroy civilization as we know it, and the earth, and all because of these people who don't have any idea why they're alive.’ - Michael Shannon in 2016 predicting the hell we’re in now www.rogerebert.com/interviews/y...

We need real fighters in the Senate right now and new energy to be a true check on Donald Trump. It’s why I’m the only one who will say Chuck Schumer shouldn’t lead the Democratic caucus.

I realize this is designed to drive me, specifically, insane, but AI models can do reasonable pastiche of any given writer or style of writing, and the problem becomes more obvious cumulatively. Thus, I'm not sure what the point of a quiz like this is*. *-it is to drive me, specifically, insane.

I think he looks like he's about to announce that the Bajoran workers have taken control of Ore Processing and have three minutes to surrender before neurozine gas is vented into the compartment.

cannot stress enough that "separate the art from the artist" was meant for private individuals reconciling the art they love with its flawed creators and not meant for the ceo of a company driving a dump truck of money up to a bigot's front porch www.theverge.com/podcast/8914...

"I looked up, and up, and up, and up, until I saw Tom Noonan's face, looking down at me with a curious expression. 'What did you say your name was?' he asked." A remembrance of my friend Tom, lost too soon. www.rogerebert.com/mzs/a-beauti...

How will this affect the Riyadh comedy scene

Like everything else with Trump, the short-term impact will be significantly less than the most catastrophic possibility predicted, which will lead to everybody ignoring all of the long-term effects.