Flavor Flav is short for Flavorful Riboflavin

Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

Retired CIA analyst Larry Johnson has revealed that Donald Trump wanted to use nuclear codes during a White House meeting on Saturday night. General Dan Cain, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, stood up and said NO This is the level of instability in the White House.

🚨 ICE Glasses are coming - specialized smart glasses designed by and for the Department of Homeland Security, documents reveal: www.kenklippenstein.com/p/exclusive-...

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars. We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director. Please stand by for more.

stupid Trump tweet for many reasons but one of which is that Spain had higher GDP growth than the US over the last year (3% vs 2%)

There's a war on for your mind. theonion.info

The truck beds are nearly the same size

Donald Trump wanted a commemorative stamp with his face on it but the focus group said 65% of Americans would spit on the front side and the other 35% would lick the backside.

WOW: A stunning new report in the WSJ reveals that military advisers intentionally excluded Donald Trump from the command room during the recent high-stakes operation to extract a downed U.S. airman in Iran, because they feared his erratic behavior could jeopardize the mission. 1/

Salute to an all-time tweet

i would courtesy flush for you

one of the best turns corkscrew, laguna seca

This Lego video for drunk FBI Director Kash Patel is fantastic. 🔥

Step aside orange cats

Whoever named the Walkie Talkie should name more things

WHATS UP YOU WET MOTHERFUCKERS

I poop a lot to reclaim my time from everything. I can track this back to when I joined the workforce and discovered bathrooms on different floors; now I just go to a different section of the house in hopes no one will find me - have an amazing weekend

Peace, but only during trading hours

*unhides valley ranch*

Our team received a report of intermittent app outages at about 11:40pm PDT on April 15, 2026. They worked through the night to mitigate a sophisticated Distributed Denial-of-Service (DDoS) attack, which intensified throughout the day.

trump is doing all this and the Pope never mentioned his name once.

b- at best but adorable af youtu.be/8oZliHTzR88?...

Rand Paul on Newsmax: "That's not exactly true. Trump bombed Iran and the administration told us their nuclear capabilities had been obliterated. So I'd think it'd be incumbent upon them to tell us how that changed. I don't think there was anything imminent that couldn't have had a debate and vote"

Shares up 639% at the moment

i feel bad for our country but this is tremendous content

good fucking question

My thoughts on the Swalwell stuff. Notice how Democrats always hold their own accountable and Republicans just yell fake news, no matter how vile the evidence is?

Re: vibecession one factor for me is feeling cheated paying federal taxes. I'm paying a higher rate than every billionaire to fund a gov't that does far less good, and far more harm, than it used to—while running a bigger deficit. I'll pay for USAID, make the billionaires pay for their fascist shit.

He thought this one was a picture of him as an astronaut

Did everyone forget about this one?

Trump thinks this is a doctor having a normal dinner

Trump makes a profane post threatening genocide on Easter, trashes the Pope for refusing to worship him, and posts a depiction of himself as Jesus healing the sick. The right-wing political pastors who promoted this scumbag fake Christian as someone chosen by God are charlatans.

Donald Trump’s $10 BILLION lawsuit against The Wall Street Journal for reporting on his ties to Jeffrey Epstein has been dismissed.

Trump could really teach the Pope a lesson by taxing churches.

Somehow we almost missed Fox saying teens ages 15-19 not having babies is a “problem”🤔

Winning campaign slogan here if anyone wants it.

OK here's the original post I am pretty sure:

Given the huge early turnout in Hungary odds seem very high that Magyar wil defeat Orbán very decisively; the question in that case would be whether Orbán goes with the Ukrainian electoral interference lie he has been preparing and whether foreign actors support him.

BRENNAN: Did they mine the strait? Because Trump also said they might not have TURNER: You'll have to ask the president BRENNAN: That's the point. Congress hasn't been briefed TURNER: It's his tweet B: You're a member of oversight and armed services TURNER: You'll have to ask the president

BARTIROMO: Do you believe the price of oil and gas will be lower before the midterm elections? TRUMP: I hope so. I mean, I think so. It could be the same or maybe a little big higher (Check out Maria's face as he says this!)

Alex Pretti was not available for comment.

Now China and Russia get to compete to be the first to humiliate Trump (and thus the United States) by sending a ship through Trump's "blockade," both knowing that he won't sink it and if he did that'd just be a perfect excuse for them to ramp up their own imperialism.

It's funny that Trump called Iran tough negotiators because he said "Give up your only two points of leverage forever" and they said "no"

Stick 'em all in one resolution, with one or down vote. Let's see who actually believes in standards of decency versus scoring bullshit partisan political points.

Same thing with data centers and electricity - benefits flow to the top, costs to the person who can’t afford a heat pump and only has baseboard heat.

One issues in the K-shaped economy is that wealthy folks who can afford $50,000+ cars drive up the cost of insurance for everybody else, because of the risk you run into one of them.