And so once again we say farewell to Xmas — the only time of year when we take two-syllable words like ‘given’ and ‘heaven’ and sing them in one syllable, as if we were Americans singing ‘squirrel’ or ‘mirror’.

“His presidency will be remembered for his bizarre performances, dancing and celebrating as his economy continued to fail. His brazen arrogance was breathtaking, joking once he was "bigger than Taylor Swift". “ Let’s play a game of Which President?

Hang on- could the Secret Traitor nominate themselves in the shortlist in a high-stakes treble bluff?

In Agadoo did Kubla Khan Push pineapples, shake the tree

back in the day films were well written, were art, they were *about things*

This is true and I was the only one on set excited about it (and playing the song on my phone to blank stares)

The blow job scene in The Scarecrows’ Wedding was vulgar, unnecessary, far too long, disturbingly explicit and yet, as you would expect from the talented artisans involved, gorgeously animated

Wisdom from the old man

Good old Telegraph.

He’s making a list He’s checking it twice He’s gonna start mining Arrakis for spice

Last Christmas I gave you my heart The very next day Kali ma shakti de

Just watched an incredibly sad interview with Mandy Patinkin about Rob Reiner. But it’s the one word, “inconceivable” that gets you. Boy oh boy.

He’s making a list, He’s checking it twice And a third time, And then he stands accused of losing the list Yet his is the only name on it, Franz Kafka is coming to town

Imagine Scooby Doo saying "Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori". It would be terrible. In fact, I don't think that Scooby Doo should read any war poems out loud. He can respect the fallen in other ways.

The Vanity Fair photographer from the Susie Wiles story. Holy. Shit. www.washingtonpost.com/style/power/...

Typically superb

not the kind of behavior I expect from the winner of the fifa peace prize

Rob Reiner leaves us with a Rosetta Stone of filmmaking. At least three of his movies are core texts of how you film comedy, romantic comedy and family storytelling to the best of cinema’s ability. All these also seemed to speak of an empath at the helm. A mensch. A regular genius. This is too sad.

Metropolitan Stadium: From the Air in the Late 1950s #MinnesotaTwins #TwinsBaseball #MLB

Anyone remember the German word for turning on the TV when England are batting and it’s adverts and you think Oh God Someone’s Out but then you realise it’s just a drinks break?

Great culture can save lives. Literally. Amazing letter in today’s @thetimes.com about Tom Stoppard

And in many ways, that’s alof like Jesus, isn’t it

John Major’s father was born in 1879

Knife deaths in London in the year to May 2025 were the lowest in a 12 month period since September 2015. We are making progress, but there is much to do. We will not let-up in our approach with the police, and through prevention with the London VRU, to build a safer city for all.

No need to embarrass our guest, he’s wearing a suit….oh. This Freudian Cartoon of a man is beholden to shiny things like a medieval child with an iPhone. He beshits every situation he walks into.

He would absolutely love this one!!

@bbcnewsnight.bsky.social When Trump was impeached for his Capitol rant his own lawyers argued his repeated use of the word 'fight' was figurative. So by their definition the BBC edit is just showing him talking figuratively. Hope that helps :) www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-u...

Trump Threatens To Sue BBC Over Misleading Edit Of ‘The Vicar Of Dibley’ https://theonion.com/trump-threatens-to-sue-bbc-over-misleading-edit-of-the-vicar-of-dibley/

A production in which, having become so utterly pissed off with Robert Lindsay as Christ, he once crucified him facing the cross, so that Lindsay's entire final number was sung with his back to the audience.

Just saw a Joe Rogan clip in which he raves about a John Cleese party political broadcast for the Lib Dems in the 1980s, which has been put to a Hans Zimmer soundtrack. I forget the other three horsemen.

stellan skarsgård seems like a good dude

Baron Nathan, the celebrity dance teacher of the 1850s who danced the hornpipe blindfolded, surrounded by eggs. There's something SO malevolent about this image. It's powerfully frightening.

Baseball is a game normally played in secret by Americans while the British sleep but for some reason it has escaped into the uk daytime and now the secret is out.

something which never fails to make me laugh is remembering David Whitley's line about Charlie Bigham ready meals: 'I'll tell you what a good meal for one is - a Charlie Bigham meal for two'

So. Televisions. We’re just running the family one off pretty strong WiFi these days. What brands handle WiFi well? We had a Samsung which was slow as all hell.

It’s taken me inexplicably long to watch Oppenheimer. A subject teetering on the edge of quantum is perfect for CN’s editorial zip zap time hops. Murphy is in total control of his visual self. Fantastic actor. Downey bonkers good. A Conspiracy thriller of people, and atoms.

My water bill just went up 60%. How the hell will people cope with this? They won’t, will they.

Comedy = tragedy + time Scarborough Fair = parsley, sage, rosemary + thyme

Strictly are blowing it if they don't have big Tom Skinner do an Aguirre themed dance

My friend Tom quit fapping and his biology shifted. Skin cleared, jawline sharpened, posture fixed. Women sense his unbusted alpha frequency when he makes eye contact. Semen retention = testosterone recycling. Stop draining your power and unlock Alpha Mode.

Connery looks like you just said something mean about Cher

Amazon have removed the guns from their Bond posters, giving the tantalising impression that Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan think you’re a wanker.

On National Poetry Day, the greatest poem I have ever read

Does this have anything to do with the time that Tylenol roasted Trump at the 2011 Correspondent’s Dinner?

The reason they come for comedians early is that a comic license is surprisingly easy to revoke. You just have to stop laughing. Comedy is about safety, spreading that feeling of safety, intimacy, shared values, group strength. They don’t want you to feel safe. They want you to feel scared.

Bloody hell. That’s something.

Since when did the Oxford Union become some high seat of debate and learning? It’s a hilariously Americanised view perpetuated by US guest speakers who naively thought they were being inducted into Hogwarts. These are kids trying out ideas like they’re doing wheelies.