Strictly are blowing it if they don't have big Tom Skinner do an Aguirre themed dance

My friend Tom quit fapping and his biology shifted. Skin cleared, jawline sharpened, posture fixed. Women sense his unbusted alpha frequency when he makes eye contact. Semen retention = testosterone recycling. Stop draining your power and unlock Alpha Mode.

Connery looks like you just said something mean about Cher

Amazon have removed the guns from their Bond posters, giving the tantalising impression that Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan think you’re a wanker.

On National Poetry Day, the greatest poem I have ever read

Does this have anything to do with the time that Tylenol roasted Trump at the 2011 Correspondent’s Dinner?

The reason they come for comedians early is that a comic license is surprisingly easy to revoke. You just have to stop laughing. Comedy is about safety, spreading that feeling of safety, intimacy, shared values, group strength. They don’t want you to feel safe. They want you to feel scared.

Bloody hell. That’s something.

Since when did the Oxford Union become some high seat of debate and learning? It’s a hilariously Americanised view perpetuated by US guest speakers who naively thought they were being inducted into Hogwarts. These are kids trying out ideas like they’re doing wheelies.

MUUUMMMM JEEEEESUSSSS!

Very moving (and funny) tribute to the great Bill Dare at the BBC Radio Theatre today. If you ever laughed at Dead Ringers or Spitting Image, that's probably thanks to Bill.

Daniel Levy was always steadfast in his position: "As long as Giorgio Armani has breath in his lungs, I will remain chairman of Tottenham Hotspur". And he stuck to that. Which was odd, really

Actually, Frankenstein is a doctor success at the Venice film festival

Fuck it anyone want this?

Still planning my book about the history of Religious Scepticism called I Like Big Buts And I Cannot Lie.

I would never tell anyone how to live their life, all I am saying is that the Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull Look is *available* to Ben Stokes.

Is there any greater assurance of an imminent ton of bullshit than the words, “pull that video up”?

And now on Radio 4, The Archers, where Jill gets a nasty surprise as Jofra bowls a 98 mile an hour beamer at her head.

RIP Norman Tebbit. You invented the Cricket Test, and fair play, now you are the ashes.

I don't want to be provocative or anything, but this is a curious way to say the words "Bruce Forsyth with Play Your Cards Right"

Has rod been on?

Dont do much here, but hoping there’s a Glasto whimsy slamdown. In other news, another year goes by without Busta Rhymes covering Walking In The Air.

RIP Syd Lawrence- amazing bowler for England, and owner of Dojo nightclub in Bristol during the 90s, which as I recall was absolutely wicked.

So much to love about Bumrah’s art. In among it all- at the beginning of that run up, he fixes his finger position like a spinner. Such a slow first 5-10 yards, and then accelerates in no time to proper express pace.

I’m watching The Sopranos for the first time. I know. The depth and breadth of massively compelling characters is- I think- only matched by The Simpsons. Which fringe character you dig? Robert Loggia in Season 5 for me. Walks into an already masterful show and kicks the door down at the age of 250.

I got a bad feeling about this.

The Sopranos is basically The Simpsons except it’s a small town satire of US Culture with a European melancholy and an unprecedented community of three dimensional characters The Sopranos is basically The Simpsons.

Ahh. A great father’s day song… open.spotify.com/track/6CWCgR...

Just realised this is the first year where I receive a Father’s Day, rather than give it. Nearly a year, Dad. Here he is, top left in the red stripes, with a bunch of other chancers. Miss isn’t the word.

Just a reminder that 80% of men’s social media feeds are adverts for these kind of trousers.

Year 2 of The Bosh Wars. Skinner, still loyal to a single octave, traditionalist bass Bosh delivery. Compare to Big John Fisher, a Miles Davis to Skinner’s big band formalism. Exploring the outer reaches of his Bosh- higher range, extended, eccentric, jazz. Blood will be spilled.

We saw Brian Wilson at an outdoor festival 10 years ago. It grew dark and the ferris wheel to the side of the stage lit up. Brian broke off a song intro to tell us that a UFO was landing. “We shall meet them. Finally we shall meet them.” Was he serious or not. We cheered anyway. He was God.

England are an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a Gregg’s bag wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a nappy.

TV pitch

Absolute Brexit Battlebus of a game in Bilbao. Spurs to hang on till the 93rd minute, only to lose 2-1, Ange disappears into the turf like that fella in Under The Skin.

Exciting news at Pozzitive HQ - our first BBC drama! Starring Alyth Ross, Daniel Mays, Rufus Jones and Harry Trevaldwyn, Four Gammons & A Unicorn is out now on @bbcsounds - a satirical comedy about how a teenage girl becomes the face of the culture wars. By Katie Sayer www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

This Inter-Barca game is like 24 rounds of Hagler-Hearns. Outrageous.

Honestly, when you get one, it does feel kind of cool.

Honestly, when you get it, it does feel kind of cool.

Katy Perry wasn’t the first pop star in space. That was Lady Gagarin

Actually amazing.

Interview with the great Sebastian Chabal, who’s suffering from early dementia. “There’s the pate that hits the marrow”. Is there a more culinary French way of describing dementia? Chapeau, mon brave.

In the YouGov data for most popular British TV shows, there is only one drama in the top 20. There are 12 comedies. Someone has got to sort out funding more comedy, because we really like it.

Declan Rice is that very particular breed who delivers a free kick like a professional footballer, and is a supporter again by the time it hits the back of the net. Gazza was like that.

Bill Bramhall, New York Daily News

In one hour, Apple has lost an amount of capital equal to the entire GDP of Pakistan or Hong Kong.

Towards the end of his career, Val Kilmer toured his one man theatre show about Mark Twain. Like much of what he did, this looks brilliant, singular and playfully effortless. Fella had it all at his fingertips. youtu.be/TsmQx6SQIZM?...

This City Is Ours on the BBC is tremendous. And you realise that what you’ve been missing from so many British gangster stories is proper Threat. In a world of cockney capers, this show reminds you how still, scary and unblinking the best of British Screen Gangsterism can be.