🍌🍌🍌I adore this story of the great Hunter Davies and his banana tree in today’s @thetimes.com. Every #AccidentalPartridge a gem. Especially: “I thought I'd try and speak to Alan Titchmarsh, my friend, but he's not answering his phone.”

Arsenal victory parade route 8.30am. Parade starts at 2pm and security marshals have been here since 4am 🤷‍♂️

Why is HR so hated? Last week Bolt boss, Ryan Breslow (pictured) said he’d “got rid of our HR team”, adding they were “creating problems that didn’t exist”. People could not contain their glee. He was hailed as a hero. 1/3

Arsenal have published parade route for Sunday. It is *significantly* longer than previously (any many years ago!). And goes down a couple of really quite narrow residential streets. Good driving required!

This by Joe Fattorini gets wonderfully deep into the absurdity of the Peter Murrell fraud case. Which is to say: the mystery of the five decanters. open.substack.com/pub/joefatto...

The rise and rise of @lidlgb.bsky.social. Back in 2020 it had 5.4% of UK grocery market and was 7th biggest. Now, it has 8.6% of market, and has overtaken struggling Morrisons to become 5th biggest.

In Covid @hackneycouncil.bsky.social closed much-loved, v useful paddling pool which had lasted for 90yrs. Yes, it needed a bit of a revamp possibly. They replaced it with £0.5m far smaller ‘splash zone’ elsewhere. Which has lasted 4yrs before it’s broken (just in time for heatwave) 🤦‍♂️

Are the public stupid? And they fail to understand how hard it is to make money in the UK? Or do they distrust all big organisations – supermarkets, train companies, even the NHS – believing them to be “profit extractors”? GDP growth is for other people, not for them. I’ve written about this…

How miserable do you have to be to put this sign on your (lovely) house? Not near a school, not near a pub. In a gorgeous, quiet Georgian square in Clerkenwell/Islington.

StanChart's plans to cut 8000 jobs is not about cost cutting apparently - it is about replacing "low value human capital" www.ft.com/content/ff67...

💃🪩📋 Love this story featuring Freuds PR company. And must try this excuse next time I end in a “burlesque” club…. “Our work printer is so rubbish it was just easier to do the paperwork while admiring some nipple tassels” 🤷‍♂️

♟️ I wrote about the resurgence of chess. And how the relaunched Simpsons in the Strand – once the HQ of chess in England – is determined to bring chess back to the glorious venue. For @thetimes.com Luxx.

📉 👶 Fascinating piece about falling birth rates around the world. Yes, lack of affordable housing is to blame. But could the smartphone also be? In short, young people are just not socialising in person enough By @jburnmurdoch.ft.com in FT

Reader’s letter in today’s @thetimes.com. About Brexit. V revealing that 10yrs on many Brexiteers believe Brexit was not a success because it wasn’t pure or hard enough. But, note the address 👀🇨🇭

I’ve written about Croquet for The Field. An excuse to wheel out this top sporting trivia: the most successful @wimbledonltc.bsky.social champion is an engineering professor called Bernard…

Eurovision semi finals. And Top Trumps has delivered!!

🤹One of the busiest road junctions in London: Earls Ct Rd/Cromwell Rd. Both skilful and insane…

✈️🍻As airport drinking is back in the news, here's a piece I did 2yrs ago. Spending all day inside the Wetherspoons at Stansted to get to the bottom of why people drink at 3.30am. It was a long (and interesting) day...

One of the great mysteries of our modern age. Why M&S menswear bosses believe that British men only want to wear shades of pastel sludge during summer

Irvine Welsh’s ‘My Culture Fix’ in @thetimes.com. 🎞️ What film have you walked out of? “I was asked to leave Four Weddings and a Funeral because I was tripping on acid.”

Swearing at work. It has become normal to say f*** in front of colleagues or your boss. Certain words policed at work, but not swear words. Why? Why can saying "lads" result in you facing an employment tribunal, but not "c***"? This week's @thetimes.com biz column...

Some useful public speaking tips from Freud here.

This is honestly the most coldly furious letter I think I've ever seen from a police chief to a politician. By quite some margin.

🩻 Londoners, if you fly off a bicycle & fracture your elbow can I highly recommend taking yourself to St Bart’s Minor Injuries Unit? Incredible service. Triaged, x-rayed, diagnosed and discharged in under 90mins. The *lack* of A&E at this hospital makes it more efficient

Real, actual press releases that should be read out by Chris Morris on The Day Today... "TransPennine Express’s pioneering therapy dog, will feature on BBC One’s quiz show Bridge of Lies, hosted by Ross Kemp, which airs today"

Could making British workers happier boost UK productivity by £334bn a year? Maybe. But the starting point is to accept most of us are made *unhappy* by work. And we'd rather be birdwatching, walking, or - mostly - having s*x. This week's @thetimes biz column: www.thetimes.com/business/eco...

Times Births today.

The condiment revolution. Sales of ketchup & mayo are flat compared with 2024. Mustard & brown sauce have fallen. But sales of flavoured mayos are up 20%, hot & sweet chilli sauces are up an amazing 39.5%. (Via Worldpanel) 🧵1/2

I think Pete Hegseth is loathsome. And an idiot. But…he never claimed to be quoting the Bible. He made clear he was reciting a “prayer” the rescue crew used before the mission. It’s the US airmen who were quoting Pulp Fiction/ersatz Ezekiel

Drip prices – when booking fees, VAT, service charges are only added after you’ve chosen a product – are illegal. The AA driving school has been fined. 📻 I’m on Radio4 PM programme, 5.40pm with @evanhd.bsky.social to discuss. Have you seen them? On cinema/flights? www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Monthly supermarket stats out from reputable Worldpanel/Kantar. - @lidlgb.bsky.social is about to overtake Morrisons to become no.5 supermarket in UK - @aldiukstores.bsky.social continues to *lose* market share. Has it completely run out of steam? - Ocado has had a brilliant run, but remains tiny

Steven Bartlett proving once again that a lack of numeracy is no barrier to success

👏👏👏

"The image clearly depicts me as a simple vendor of seafood sandwiches"

I’ve investigated the history of meetings, how we can meet better, and – crucially – why we persist on holding meetings even when we moan about them. Me for Sunday Times Magazine: www.thetimes.com/life-style/w...

Lots of companies have tried axing meetings on 1 day of the week. Shopify puts a cost on every meeting when you book it – av. hourly salary of the people in the room. A UK start-up, Meeting Canary, is an AI moderator who chides you if you go off agenda. But does this solve the issue? 🧵4/

The main problem with meetings is the cost. Of the salaries of those in the room. The LSE estimates that the UK wastes £48 billion on unproductive meetings. That’s more than UK defence spending. But is there a solution? 🧵3/

The most eloquent defence of meetings came in 1976 from Antony Jay, co-creator of 'Yes, Minister' who wrote for Harvard Business Review. Humans have always gathered. To decide, to define themselves, to assert status. But even he said: "A great many meetings waste a great deal of everyone’s time" 🧵2/

We now spend 24.8% of our working week in meetings in the UK. Up from 19.3% pre-Covid. Talking about work, rather working. How did this happen? And can we do it better? 🧵1/

Harry Wallop visits the firms that have found better ways of working

We now spend 24.8% of our working week in meetings in the UK. Up from 19.3% pre-Covid. Talking about work, rather working. How did this happen? And can we do it better? 🧵1/

🦠Gut microbiomes have become *the* area of interest for doctors (and quacks on tick tock). 🦷🪥But how about oral microbiomes? Could the bacteria in our mouth be the key to finding out our likelihood of heart attacks or Alzheimer's? Or at least why our teeth rot...🧵1/2

I'm on a website of Roam, a remote office software provider. On the "our team" page, all the execs are dressed up like they are on the Star Trek Enterprise. Is this a new thing in Silicon Valley? Or is everyone at Roam a weirdo?

👌 @thetimes.com front page photo / headline juxtaposition

Absolutely incredible Nutella ad.

Trump Mar 10th “We won the War on day one”. Trump April 5th…

This week’s @thetimes.com biz column. AI is no match for a great PA — let’s bring them back www.thetimes.com/article/29d4...

🍩 I see your Matcha Mochi, and raise you a short-dated, Dubai-style, uhhh, doughnut… fresh from the bargain bin at Co-op

In the 1970s, John Tovey was considered one of the best chefs in Britain. He was on TV, and his restaurant – Miller Howe in the Lake District – a gem. This is his “savoury cheese peach” from his 1979 cookbook. It is WILD