Lot of Palace fans with ‘pride of South London’ banners which is a little rich considering Arsenal literally just won the league

Djed shitposting again. We’re so back.

The thing that's really breaking my brain is that if you strip away literally all the context, they've basically ended up where they were this time last year v Brighton: everyone happy, singing, clapping the team, the stadium still full long after full time, vibes off the chart

who feels better, the guy who "climbs" mount everest or the guy who halfway up falls off the mountain and somehow lives?

Right. Now sack everyone

That actually feels better than winning this terrible league. Something I personally wouldn’t lower myself to

Back in the day you could tweet something like ‘so this is how I find out I’m not in the England squad? 😡’ and get 45+ likes, 20-30 retweets. What a time. What a stupid time

The worst genre of British TV is 'if this breaks out we could all win baftas'

Not allowed to kick an opposition player in the head in the penalty area anymore because of woke

We cant get relegated at Stanford Bridge

I still want West Ham to win. I am, before I am anything else, a hater

Before the decade is out Ryan Murphy’s going to do a 13-part Netflix drama about the Lively/Baldoni litigation and the sooner you accept it the sooner you can move on

My favourite David Attenborough story is the time I was walking my miniature dachshund Reggie in Richmond park and passed the great man himself. He looked at my dog and loudly said "I wouldn't put that little cunt on telly for all the tea in China" and walked off. I euthanised Reggie on the spot

Fackin love this

Think PSG have a better chance of beating the scum. Sorry Harry but I’m team ratatouille now

Aston Villa with a heavily rotated squad there whereas Tottenham, famously, have all their best players available every week

COYSSSS

If they think this stuff really makes a difference why don’t they do it every week

what wacky hijinks will Richard Gadd come up with next

Going after Parkrun – a non-competitive event which has no changing rooms – perfectly illustrates that it's never been about fairness in sport, women's safety or anything else. It's about bullying and demonising trans people, hounding them out of public life in every space possible. It's disgusting.

A shopkeeper shaking his fist at a young urchin who has absconded with a bag of stolen liquorice

I’m sorry but some of you simply do not have the mental fortitude to support a relegation threatened club

When Spurs finally fire Lange they should let us all watch it live on big screens in the stadium

This guy is essentially completely fucking useless but when you have his levels of raw charisma it’s no mystery why Sky Sports keeps employing him

Spurs relegated but all time Arsenal bottle job

ah well that’s a shame

At what point do we ask whether Saka and Rice need to leave Arsenal to win trophies?

- the wizard, seconds before shooting me with the glock they keep strapped to their leg

Still think we’ll stay up

@joebarton.bsky.social substack.com/@dteom/note/... Voyeurism, love, admission.

Telling another cowboy to stand down:

Got Gollum mogged huntsmaxxing with Aragorn

I don’t like it on Taskmaster when someone is doing a task in the sunshine and someone else is doing it in the rain

Looking at some of the teams in the championship with familiar fondness. You telling me you wouldn’t want the chance to play QPR again? Blackburn Rovers? Derby County? Portsmouth? Be like watching Match of the Day in the 90’s. I see only sunlit uplands

There was a bit towards the end of the game where Porro had a good shot and I said to my son ‘the next time he kicks the ball it’s going to go miles in the air because he’s overexcited now’ and that’s exactly what happened because our players are very predictable but also, importantly, very stupid

Sky Sports should offer a service where I can press the red button and send a substantial and very lethal electric shock to whoever’s refereeing the spurs match

Sky Sports should offer a service where I can press the red button and send a substantial but not lethal electric shock to whoever’s on co-comms for the spurs match

As a fun experiment The guardian could hire culture critics who like culture

This is real

I think people are allowed to draw conclusions about the American people based on their decision to put this man in office bsky.app/profile/pear...

Maybe modern hospitals have rules about being mostly painted bright white but The Pitt’s production design makes me miss ER’s colour scheme

And this. He literally sought him out.

Tone deaf of the club to announce this now or a clever ploy to attract a new manager with the promise of a free trip to beautiful New Zealand, land of the hobbits? Expect noted Lord of the Rings fan Pep ‘Pippin’ Guardiola to sign on imminently

Um.