TV Commissioner: I think the main problem with this IP is that the main character is not connecting with the key demographic. So, instead of “Auld” let’s call him “Incredible New” and instead of “Lang Syne” let’s call him “Shmoo”. Rabbie Burns: What

Have a jumpy, unsettling NYE, everyone! X

HAHAHA

He’s making a list, He’s checking it twice And a third time, And then he stands accused of losing the list Yet his is the only name on it, Franz Kafka is coming to town

It's here! Joel Morris and I wrote a ghost story for the long winter nights, and Rosie Cavaliero, Carrie Quinlan, Josienne Clark and Victoria Moss breathed strange life into it. Turn off the lights and gather round the fire's glowing embers...

"I need to tell this story..." Arriving this week - an all-new audio ghost story for Christmas starring Rosie Cavaliero and Carrie Quinlan, written by myself and Joel. Available wherever you get your podcasts. Dim the lights and prepare yourself...

Just got one of those AI-generated “let me promote your book” emails all writers are plagued with, only this time I am not the author of this work. Oh how I wish I were.

The ghost of Epworth Rectory, from Sacheverell Sitwell’s “Poltergeists”, 1940 #PhantomsFriday

Something different for #phantomsfriday - this HOT MALE ghost from the cover of Time Life’s Mysteries of the Unknown, 1989. Keep back ladies, he’s married! Sorry, “buried”. Because he’s dead.

Kat and Paula are doing all of Garth Marenghi's DarkPlace and I for one could not be happier. Do Blake's 7 next!!! #gallifreypals www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9b2...

Charlie Brown is the warmest place to hide

There is an idea of a Charlie Brown, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.

For #PhantomFriday - a sad-looking ghost from Time Life’s book of Hauntings, from the 80s. What’s he got to be sad about, in the 80s?! Maybe he’s just watched Threads.

Storm Claudia today. A low fringe of high pressure accompanied by impressive bangs, with something something orange make up something traitors something see this joke all day over social media happy Friday everyone

Throw your hands in the air, and wave 'em around like you just don't care! OK, now wave 'em around as if you care a bit, but can't show it. Now wave 'em around as if you're an illiterate peasant girl in 18th century Austria whose dog has just died. Yes I've never DJ'ed before you're quite right

Trump wants to destroy the BBC and take our money. And Nigel Farage is egging him on. All true patriots should tell them both: hands off our BBC.

This is the same James Bond who has regenerated half a dozen times into an entirely different person? I think he'll be fine.

All in all, I really enjoyed ‘Frankenstein’. Someone should make a film of it.

Oh what I’m your unpaid PR person now is that it

THIS, FOREVER.

Well that was the best hour of TV in YEARS #Traitors

We didn’t bother with a bonfire this year, or an effigy on top. Zero Fawkes given.

Comments like the one below ALWAYS make a writer's day, and are incredibly welcome and kind. If you've loved a book, do try and tell the author! (NB: this doesn't work with dead ones)

It's here! Joel and I discuss Fall Out, the to-this-day still gobsmacking final episode of the ultimate cult TV show, The Prisoner. The bones is yours, my daddy.

I haven’t talked about this much yet, but I cannot WAIT for people to read the book I’ve been writing for a very long time. Not long to wait now before it’s out there…

There once was a man called Ozymandias He stood trunkless on the sandias Behold his sneer of cold commandias Poor old Ozymandias ‘Cos transience

“My name is Ozymandias/my works are quite splendandimus/ Look on them now/and then say “wow!”/ “Give this guy a handimus!” - theme from the cartoon series “Ozymandiacs”, 1996-98

“Hi, I’m Ozymandias, King of Kings. If you’d like to look on my works and despair, please press 1. If you’d like to study my shattered visage, press 2. Press 3 to return to the main menu”

Hard agree.

BRING IT BACK - dashare.zone ADMIN

This is gonna be AMAZING

Doing this next week! Come along!!! Say hi!!!

The Amityville Horror. A frequently daft and OTT movie if youre an adult. I saw it as a kid and it literallly poured out of the screen in a tsunami of absolute dread

As we're WELL into spooky season now, might I take this chance to once again recommend my 1970s-set ghost story The Apparition Phase, which first came out in 2020. As I always say, if you like ghosts, chances are you'll like this. Whoooo! etc. www.waterstones.com/book/the-app...

Literary fiction is a genre, same as any other, with the same small toolkit of tricks and tropes and cliches as any other genre. It's also one of the easiest to do badly and still be taken seriously.

Was coincidentally reminded of the existence of this last night, so putting it up for National Poetry Day. What an amazing thing. www.poetrybyheart.org.uk/poems/a-disu...

The greatest album you've never heard turned 30 last month. Enjoy. www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUl4...

Well, it took them three seasons, but Hulu finally produced an all-time classic episode of Futurama (“The White Hole”). Surprising, original and hilarious. Good news, everyone.

My ten fave sitcoms: Not Like That, Exploding Andrew! The Clinic Stu vs. Stu I Married a Hen The Doggers Help I’m a Liquid No Further Questions M’Lud Graham Cubed The Gravy Men Whatever Happened to the Gravy Men?

“For this visit, Melania’s outfit has been designed by Junji Ito”

Stunning creepy Signalman artwork here, but be warned it doesn’t give you sleepless nights (thanks @gralefrit.bsky.social)

Tár is on in five minutes on BBC Two. It’s a masterpiece and Cate Blanchett is astounding in it. Modern parable, black comedy, fable about the power dynamic and - yes - ghost story. Treat yourself.

Ally is great and this will be well worth 99 of whatever Earth currency you decide to use purchasing it.

Horrid Eyeball Octopus is the undisputed Baby Yoda-style breakout star of Alien: Earth. Just enjoying as much as I can of the little fella before we get a trilogy of spin-off movies detailing his origins

Can we get Xzibit to host "In Our Time"? He was great on "Pimp my Ride" in the 2000s. Come on, Radio 4.

New book idea: Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde and Anthea Turner and Bono. Mr Hyde drinks a liquid that turns him into Anthea Turner but then SHE drinks it and turns into no wait come back there’s more vinyl emulsion in the cupboard we can drink

@iainandjane.com’s phenomenal (re) assessment of the career of the mighty Marianne Faithful premieres TODAY. (With a few tiny additional bits written by me. Seriously, It was an honour just to be included).

just once i’d like to hear an established, successful artist look back at their work and say “of course, you couldn’t make that these days, because you can’t get funding for original work that’s not based on an established ip”

Can't DM her on here for some reason but I just read that her new novel is "set in the fevered jungles of the Amazon during the late Victorian orchid-hunting craze" and I love you @unheimlichmanvr.bsky.social

Looking after daughter today and tomorrow. Kids are so fussy though, aren’t they? She’s not enjoying this Kandinsky retrospective at all. Doesn’t really bode well for tomorrow’s entire 12 hour performance of Wagner’s Ring Cycle I must say