Whenever Lulu is feeling poorly, I send her a Get Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell Soon card.

No YOU’RE juvenile

15 years ago today, Kate and William killed Osama Bin Laden at their wedding.

Just found a load of seabird pornography. Coming to terns with it.

May Day poster, Cuba by Daysi García López, 1970

Hooray hooray the first of May. Outdoor sex begins today!

Wonderful read.

Due to a set of rules he imposed on himself, Paul Young spent most of the 80s living in a hatstand.

It's going to be even worse the next time they appoint Peter Mandelson

"The image clearly depicts me as a simple vendor of seafood sandwiches"

This Reform leaflet from three Gateshead candidates looks like a timelapse of the same person

Oops I Paul Shaned Again

Viz 355

i think we should pronounce linkedin “linky din”

Three kisses to anyone who can dig out the scene in Veep where Selina talks about the horrors of war to a Marine dressed as the Easter Bunny. It’s out there somewhere.

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me. It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

Any Hertfordshire shares would be greatly appreciated (a Hertfordshire Share sounds like the polar opposite of a Glasgow Kiss)

I have a song about this!

No JASON⁵⁰⁰⁰. Jesus Christ. It is only Monday. Close the door. I'm afraid I can't do that Dave

I do love a completely shit acronym.

Buster Bloodvessel is 6”2. Which if you ask me is the height of Bad Manners

As Nick Clegg’s in the spotlight again, here’s a short thread of the time I took his bizarre 2020 Politico photo shoot and turned them into Edinburgh posters. 1/4

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Headline in today's Broadcast "Gary Barlow takes Jason Manford to New Zealand for ITV Travelogue" feels like the last straw. Stop telling us there's no money to make TV when you're sending dull millionaires on free holidays. FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Who is watching this shit? *eye twitch*

The final date of our world tour is this Friday. www.unrestrictedview.co.uk/sketchfest-2...

I was never a "Dynasty" fan, but had I known Carrington Manor was a death trap I would've probably watched this show.

Best game in the world. threelettersgame.com

This is a very good joke.

Great work. Apparently he also came up with the note orchestras tune to.

For reasons we can’t remember, Dan Tetsell and I are trying out a whole show of new sketches. First one this Friday at the Canal Cafe. canalcafetheatre.com/our-shows/tw...

i, for one, am delighted that we finally have a definition of “woke”

Any excuse to share this show www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

All I can say is that I’ve signed a LOT of NDAs.

After failing to win five years ago, we get another chance tonight.

New Epstein files pic just dropped

🎶 She wore an Itsy bitsy teeny weeny…

I think I found the original source of the 67 meme

Rewatched The Holdovers and it is maybe the best movie about a talented young history student avoiding military school since Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Just a reminder that at least 600 Americans were fired for failing to show sufficient respect after Charlie Kirk's murder.

Finally given in to middle age and bought a nasal hair trimmer. I never realised how UPLIFTING they are.

So it begins.

The first FIFA Plastic Surgery Awards ceremony.

This will be a proper festive treat!