‘Sorry to see you go, Sir Keir, I know you always particularly appreciated my vase-on-head trick’

Nobody, Nobody puts Lamine Yamal in a bathtub.

Lamine Yamal decided then and there as Lionel Messi bathed him, to take revenge.

Vanquished by the baby you washed is some Athena bullshit

Poor bastard’s starving

The British mind cannot comprehend the seventh inning stretch

so wait you basically can’t even use your hands at all unless you’re the weird guy at the end

⚠️⏸️ pausa de hidratación 💦

I'm watching in germany. The German commentators kept quiet for nearly the whole thing until suddenly the shot widened and we just hear with a German accent, "Oh, Miss Piggy"

Making Count von Count watch a 0-0 half is rude.

production of The Muppet Show should not be dependent on petty vulgarities like “ratings” or “revenue.” it should be preserved as a vital function of american culture. it should have a taxpayer-funded budget rivaling the CIA

An all-Muppets Super Bowl halftime show would be amazing.

it’s fine to think a halftime show is bad or tacky and im hating this Ted Lasso bit tbh BUT: Muppets are cool

MUPPETS!!!!!!!

THE MUPPETS???

MUPPETS?!?!?!?

Could Excel be conscious? We surveyed more than Jan 1 1900 people to find out.

Love this! Fat Sparrow netsuke from the Walters Art Museum on Instagram

⚠️⏸️ pausa de hidratación 💦

when we said “bring back shame” this is exactly what we meant none of these assholes should be allowed to buy coffee in peace

LES GO LYNX

always good to be cognizant of the fault line between the career public health workers in government trying to do their jobs and the incompetent trump loyalists holding HHS hostage. it's a helpful lens for understanding issues in outbreak responses and policy work this term.

the new york times legal team wouldn't sign off on this assessment if the reporters didn't have hard evidence backing it. just a massive red flag that screams corruption to me

(magician who slept funny) For my neck's crick,

Props to consumer reports for their journalism here. Since Taylor foods and the FDA are not disclosing where all the lettuce went they’re doing a great job trying to figure out the details. For now they’re recommending everyone trash all their iceberg. www.consumerreports.org/health/food-...

damn that’s wild. y’all eat anything good for breakfast?

The R in RFK Jr. stands for runs

God, if this ain’t the entire truth. Standardised tests measure one (1) thing, and that’s how good you are at playing the standardised test game. and once you realise that solving a Rubik’s cube is just a party trick, if you see someone bragging about it like it makes them better… it’s gross

I was the poor sap called up to the Theology floor when one of the priests said he "had a lapse in judgment". He had TORN THE ETHERNET JACK OUT OF THE WALL. Because he saw a popup ad with a woman in a bikini.

This coverage is much better...

An alternative frame is that taco bell - a corporation we have no reason to trust - did a better job monitoring the food system than the CDC, which stopped monitoring cyclospora altogether and Taylor Farms, the agribusiness we have likely all at some point consumed food from.

whelp, guess i know where next paycheck is going

Stephen Miller being the spiritual heir to Father Coughlin has the sole benefit of being used to torture Father Coughlin in hell.

I'm just saying if I was a veggie? On that specific tale? Things woulda went down differently that's all I gotta say

🚨🚨ALERT ALERT WE HAVE BABY JIMOTHY🚨🚨 🚨🚨I REPEAT WE HAVE BABY JIMOTHY🚨🚨

🥺

realizing that I’m going to have to review coverage more carefully for a better idea of what his LIDDLE TAIL looks like 🥺

i love jimothy

It’s ok to be wrong. It’s ok to back up or stop and apologize. It’s weird to double down. It’s weird to refuse to see how you’re adding to a problem. Be better bc you want to show up for people as well as they do for you

FUCK lettuce 💥

Is there ANY surer way to turn your child into a weeb?

Ways in which it is bad to be weird: - Ways that harm other people Ways in which it is fine to be weird: - Whatever other way who cares

I was so captivated by this screenshot that I had to turn it into art

me, when i got the surgery that makes you look look like a human-xenomorph hybrid: i hate when people are weird

Interesting and, I think, instructive way to frame LLM use and role when applied to generative text 🧵

at ANY time i will happily go into battle against the legions of hell alongside Rashida Tlaib 💖

i love that she called him by his first name. good

This should be a MUCH bigger story: Trump’s AG pick opened the door to a nationwide abortion ban. Ted Cruz got Todd Blanche to commit to reviewing DOJ guidance on the Comstock Act, an 1873 law conservatives want to weaponize against abortion pills—and possibly all clinic supplies @autonomynews.co

OH MY FUCK THEY ACTUALLY DID THAT