Me: Idk what I did? Purrsephone: ... Me: Ok! I'm sorry for existing. Purrsephone: ... Me: Alright, I'm sorry for existing *in your house*.

sometimes you think "I will show my students mean girls and we can have a discussion about bullying and acceptance" and you forget about amy poehler's nipple scene every time

having platforms that offer short-term dopamine rewards for making bold predictions, particularly to spite people you don’t like, of which the comeuppance for being wrong relies on whether enough people are dedicated to remembering them, seems, idk, corrosive to the social fabric, to me

do europeans have something akin to the nextdoor app or would they be utterly horrified by its existence?

Well well well if it isn’t

found a video to show my class that covers stock market basics which, ironically, is from 2007

me: put your binders neatly in the bin 6th graders:

how much do stock photo models get paid bc its not worth the fact that you might end up as the face of a nazi t shirt sold at walmart

I will not support a deal that does nothing to make health care more affordable. We are in a health care emergency. A simple one-year extension of these tax credits would cost less than Donald Trump’s $40 billion bailout for Argentina. A vote for this bill is a mistake.

GIVE ME CIRCLES YOU STUPID SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM

but for real how to deal with extreme perfectionism in a four year old??? he can't draw perfectly of course bc he's four but he's having meltdowns every time he draws BUT he also wants to draw all the time WHAT do I do to help this??? trying to encourage imperfection isn't working at all.

my kid keeps flinging his blankie at me like a fisherman trawling for anchovies

If the pro natalists want me to have babies they should really talk to the gaggle of 11 year old white boys screaming 6-7 at me on the street, because let me tell you those kids are hurting your case

this is good but it should have been in the mamdami font

is there really a difference between a charcuterie board and a ploughman's lunch?

in retrospect my kid had the same haircut as iain from gbbo and that would've been a great halloween costume

Sorry one more

I have 3 egg yolks left over from a recipe and I can't find a reliable lemon curd or pastry cream recipe that uses 3 yolks, only 5 or 7 and that's too much math

i asked my former students for advice for my current ones and everyone's response were great, but one young woman wrote "hard work is inevitable. you'll work hard now to make things stable later or you'll take it easy now and work hard in an unstable future" PHEW! i'm floored by this advice

football’s all like gimme that coconut i want it it’s beautiful but tennis is all like fuck this stupid lemon i hate it

having a kid is a mirror to all of your own personality struggles. "You need to give it a few more tries before panicking" "it's ok if your drawing doesn't look perfect" "you should take a break if this activity is causing you so much frustration" ....I might as well be talking to myself

DID WOMEN RUIN THE WORKPLACE Or do we need to try harder

if i was that wise owl and some kid asked me how much you gotta lick a tootsie pop i'd tell em where to shove it. don't come up and bother me with bull shit like this, i'm a college graduate

fox! no! you gotta get your rest!

My family could use some help!

imagine if people in the gilded age had had this level of unfettered access to the brains of oil magnates

that feeling you get with trypophobia but specifically for videos of people navigating Chongqing

is it just me and my need to scale back my screen time or does every influencer have a ninja creami now

I LEARNED THE ANSWER TO THIS Chris's Steakhouse was a New Orleans landmark Chris Matulich periodically got bored, sold it, waited for the new owner to fail, and bought it back cheap The sale conditions: Can't move it, can't change the name He did this six times Then he sold it to Ruth Fertel

This one is from a while ago but thought I'd post it. It's one of the ones I'm pretty proud of

I wish there was a way to prove my theory that a huge amount of the behavioral stuff is that kids these days are constantly hungry (even if they're eating it's primarily corn chips) and tired (they stay up scrolling) and when my preschooler is hungry and tired he's a menace

This is Just to Say I have ruined the workplace with my very presence and which you were probably using for bro time Forgive me it’s like a Montessori preschool in here now

Hard to think of anything in media that regularly brings me as much pure joy anymore as the headline in The New York Times' Trilobites section.

goal for today is get through it without crying

I’m so sorry but I’m rewatching Blade Runner and

The human misery and massive death toll that came from ending USAID was entirely predictable. Elon Musk relied on conspiracy nuts rather than employees and development specialists. Rubio, who previously defended the agency knew what would happen. They chose this. open.substack.com/pub/donmoyni...

Mr Pibb is Dr Pepper without the student loans

seeing these two posts one right after the other makes me feel literally sick

best evidence it's just they want poor people to suffer is, if republicans really thought that getting food stamps was like easy street good livin' steaks for free champagne on uncle sams dime then they'd definitely all be doing good stamp fraud. its like.... it's certainly not their moral fortitude

Eating a hoagie pizza in honor of sandwich guy.

Washington State Department of Transportation IG account is very good

sandwch guy is the gyro we need