My neighbor told me he keeps losing falcons to the widening gyre so I asked how many falcons he has and he said he just goes to the falconry and gets a new falcon afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding falcons to drown with the ceremony of innocence and then Yeats started crying.

I cannot imagine, as a teacher, signing on to participate in this.

Kit Kat likes to drink toilet water and chew on my hair. If you told her to “eat my shit and hair” she would probably be very pleased to oblige.

It's not lost on me that the same people who are so pro-ICE are also the same folks speeding around in giant trucks with tinted license plate covers. Or that they are the same folks who consider any suggestion that they should not drive like sociopaths as an attack on their freedom.

today we read "the cask of Amontillado" and one kid was confused at the end, so another kid offered: "whaddup fortunado, yeah so there's no wine in here but there IS a you-shaped hole and no one to hear you scream, peace!"

hey you seem really unfocused today and didn't finish your mid year reflection yeah like there's a preschooler being held in prison

students are like, bro can I just work on this essay at home? and then when you give them reading to do at home, bro I don't have time to do this at home

your honor, my client's pants are on fire for a different reason

New from The Cut: She Heard the Whos but First She Heard a Cry for Help: One kangaroo's controversial and determined efforts to push a friend forward through a mental health jungle only to end up in a valley of judgement

Sold one piece from this gouache collection I made last July, 3 still available! I’m also still going for that 30 order goal this month, I’m currently at 10 - I still think I’m going to smash it super hard and conquer this January because I SAID SO. linktr.ee/thesunxix #painting #art #illustration

New from The Cut: She Heard the Whos but First She Heard a Cry for Help: One kangaroo's controversial and determined efforts to push a friend forward through a mental health jungle only to end up in a valley of judgement

my kid just saw a very tall person for the first time and he was in such awe

someone tell me no

I can’t trust politicians who are anti-trans. Not because of perfection. Because my friends are trans. You can’t be anti-my-friends. That’s not gonna work for me.

thinkin once more about this lost dog someone posted in my old neighbourhood group one time

Ruin a band by changing one letter: The Poo Fighters

Staff-using wizards are starting to call Wand-using wizards "wandcels" and the wandcels are mad as shit about it lmao

Quietly repeating the words “Catholic stablecoin” over and over in hopes that they’ll stop sounding so insane

Local news linked to the family’s GoFundMe for replacing the car ICE destroyed and mom and dad staying with the kids while they recover.

They flashbanged a car full of kids. A car full of fucking kids.

(brooke rollins as an npc speaking in riddles) choose wisely traveller, for the mysterious fourth item may prove to be the undoing of your entire meal! will you be seasoning? a cheese perhaps!?

oh good morning to the skunks mating on our porch I guess

These folks fashion themselves Rohirrim, living out some heroic fantasy. In fact, they are orcs, terrorizing communities, while suited up in garish combat gear, handing out tokens memorializing their atrocious actions.

30 days hath September, April, June, and November; All the rest have 31, Except February alone; And also January, which is fucking endless

apparently Albuquerque the magazine gave best of the city to public schools this year?? lmao that's weird. this is like, an award for businesses you can patronize, not a school ratings system! get out of schools your dorks! also they were all located in wealthy neighborhoods, shocker!!!

I tried meditation this morning. Turns out my inner peace has pop up ads.

MORE

i did the "register your complaint with the appropriate department (point at trash can)" bit with my seventh graders today, totally killed

my kid can say profound stuff too

got home today and we're sitting here drawing, all the sudden my kid goes "do you know Jesus!? he's the best friend for the world"

district instructions to opt in for an electronic W2 is an *18 page* pdf

every year when I introduce poetry scansion to 8th grade, every kid in class groans but you can tell at least one of them is just pretending because they're immediately into it. scansion tickles my brain in the way I think math might have if anyone had ever bothered to make it more accessible

winter laundry is too big, need to go back to small laundry season

obviously nothing like decorum or whatever that means mattress anymore, but imagine if obama had yelled "fuck you" at an autoworker. you can't because he wouldn't have but the fox news coverage would last a decade

By now you’re no doubt aware that Renee Good drove a car. What you might not know is that she was trained and licensed to do so by the state of Minnesota…

just want someone to look at me the way a young sir David Attenborough looked at this parrot

thanks caller i.d. for “useful” information as opposed to maybe: cow

Is there a theater nerd slyline? #edsky #mutualaidsky Drama fest at ENMU is special. Multiple generations of my family have attended. These kiddos wanna go. Buy some popcorn! Send some great kiddos to Drama Fest! popup.doublegood.com/s/f9y29zm0

kobold heart hoards for valentines day are now available and have new photos!! nora.jewelry/products/kob...

this is the funniest thing i’ve ever read. isaac chotiner interviews a resident of the town from the lottery. archiveofourown.org/works/73396436

Our dear friend Anne died on Christmas of ovarian cancer, leaving her wife Valerie and their son Bobby. This family matters so much to me. They got to know us after Bobby was diagnosed with Down syndrome before he was born, and our families remain close. Help if you can. Just a repost helps.

My 2 year old doesn’t get that playing around on my phone is for ME avoiding MY tasks, not him avoiding his.

I love launching 5 or 9 word attacks.

LITERATE KITTY

🏵️🌼🌷🌺🌻🌹 Hiiiii, this kitty in my entry for the Polymanga contest, would you be so kind and vote for it on instagram? (vote = like) www.instagram.com/p/DTaKuEdDYum/ I don't have to win, but the number of likes influences the placement at the con so 🥹🙏 Shares appreciated 💖

I hate to correct you but I think a number of previous people have won golden globes

If you asked Beethoven or Mozart what kind of music they do, they wouldn’t be able to say classical cause they didn’t have that word yet. They’d probably say “I don’t know”