instagram trying to suggest a person who I know died five years ago is bleak

i watched this and started out horrified but by the end I'm fully on board with a terrifying dead eyed giant who flings vegetables from his body. he is a christ figure actually.

Ariel is here to provide free lessons in how to radiate contentment.

🌋 + 🦗

there is a stump in our yard. there's never been a tree there. up until this summer there was grass there. this stump has been manifested by someone trying to gaslight me

this stupid shirt is unfortunately a perfect example of my sense of humor

are the orthopedic shoes getting cuter or am I just getting old

mom at gymnastics starts counting in greek when her kid is misbehaving and it's enough to get me scared

(rodney dangerfield voice) take my uterus... no really, take my uterus, please!

somehow we get all out the door and at work etc every weekday by 7:30 but saturday rolls around and I'm fighting for my life getting to 8:45 gymnastics

What's your favorite film genre? Mine is the Wikipedia page for whichever horror movie I'm too afraid to watch.

headaches also love the weekend, it's their time to shine

Men be like "wow, I talk to this object just like I talk to human women" and conclude the object must therefore be human, and not that they treat women like objects

bluesky please make circles

the biggest problem with teaching gifted is having 10 people with main character energy in one room

four year old indie band lore drop: the zeza band is a band with three people: George, Andrea, and Blue. George plays guitar, Andrea is the drummer, and Blue plays piano. Their hit single is "take my train bored"

I am being CANCELLED in my own home simply for telling the children that The Count does kill, due to being a vampire, but only people who deserve it.

baby blue jay if u even care

I just don't know how we get past the fact that google is now a fully accessible, instant cheating machine for just about every kind of literary comprehension question you can ask. I know we basically just have to back to fully pen and paper but you do have to use the computer for some stuff.

every time instagram tries to get me to watch a clap back response video to a dad being pissed that his wife is pregnant with a girl I have to scroll so fast I can't even take the time to get it off my timeline. Like, close the app fast. I feel physically ill and sad every time I see one of those

Fun fact: he's actually saying "it's gonna be me"

I love teaching book to film adaptation lessons. I've done "I am legend" a few times, and this travesty would be a fun one.

nevermind teaching language arts the lesson I'm teaching on the first day is that this thing in the tape dispenser isn't disposable

There should be an autocorrect setting where it just eliminates all the times I accidentally hit B instead of space bar

not a bad view for dinner

on my new phone my typos are worse than ever, doesn't seem like it should go that direction!

why is this lady trying to make out with her to do list?

thinking abt the cursive law teacher: a law our state enacted this year that kids can't use cell phones on campus. and.... What? What happens now? Kids all still bring their phones and they still argue with you when you try to send a phone to get picked up by a parent. What's the point of making

every year I get closer to buying this cardigan from Coldwater Creek and I think if they still have it when I turn ...hm... 46? I'm getting it.

Toil in my lord's fields.

the juxtaposition of these two ted talks is perfect

no bigger than your fingernail but oh so fancy #moth #photography

not to brag but my kid drew a kitty cat guitar

this is my first year teaching middle school that has involved almost daily reminders to not eat inedible objects

thinking about reading the haunting of hill house with my 8th grade next year, am I crazy?

I do, however, work on the *opposite* of killing people with drones, in that I am currently trying to find funding and partners to support my work documenting and fighting back against the horrific rise of targeted small drone attacks on civilians globally (please send me leads!):

heard a kid go "I hate this class" to the teacher across the hall and she said "I hate cauliflower" back, and I think that's brilliant.

no google I don't want nano banana pro to "beautify my slide" I just want a widget that says the current time in a big font

NEWS: GREEN HERON JUVENILES HAVE ALREADY HATCHED ARE SKULKING AROUND

my kid said this is a fire alarm but I think it's an incredible meditation on the human condition

thinking about reading the haunting of hill house with my 8th grade next year, am I crazy?

Im getting a lot of updates now and I love it. This kid doesn't read at home and he's asking if he can read when there's free time. Today he was like "I'm feeling really nervous for piggy" 😭

my contribution to the current discourse is you could get licensed within a couple of years and work as a teacher in a lot of school districts around the country if you've got a degree in almost any science or humanities area. You'd get summers off! but you have to be the bravest you've ever been.

saw a bunch of sam niell posts and got scared but it's ok folks, he's all good

I have been at schools where it was really easy to make friends with coworkers, or at least hang out occasionally outside of school. but at the conclusion of my second year I'm resigned to the fact that this school isn't one of them, it's the most cliquey school I've ever worked at

every time I teach Poe and half the kids are like "how did edgar allan poe get away with all this murdering?" www.instagram.com/reel/DXlFIo9...

my cats indie pop album is dropping any day now

Quiz- Answer! Come forward, silent rogue… Curve-billed Thrasher 🪶

Oh wow

malcom gladwell said we're drinking only 5 drinks and one of those is revenge