seeing as I'm taking care of everything for the summer, I'm eating the first zucchini from the school garden! (I will probably freeze the rest and then use it to cook with the kids in august)

my health insurance sends these "community wellness" bs newsletter emails to me constantly. they used to be about movement challenges or mental health resets or yoga, whatever the only thing they've sent me since February is GLP-1 ads

I feel bad bc my kid really wants to write and wants me to spell things out for him while he writes but I have a hard time doing it, always have, and on top of that I have to spell things out loud for kids all the time and i find it exhausting. I want to encourage him to write but he can't copy yet

Happy Father's Day, Daddy Circus!

all babies are “on board” , they’re not that opinionated jfc

breaking: the white stripes and the black keys to form supergroup, the piano

Been out skritching the neighbors

i paid for that pool. i can touch it all i want. i'll drink it

Happy Caturday!

turns out I'm allergic to basic every plant, bananas, and also my cat 😭

Yeah there’s a sincerity, and a vulnerability in sincerity, that’s required to imagine a better world, much less commit to building it

well then, getting an allergy skin test was very unpleasant!

POV: you're unsuccessfully trying to take a picture of a bird

these cretins will, without fail, reveal that they haven’t read a book since ninth grade (Orwell, etc.), didn’t even understand *that* book, hated their teacher for making them read at all, hate anyone who studied or attempted their own literature, and still demand a whiter cast for big poem movie

Achaean OSINT Account: WATCH: Paris has to be rescued by Aphrodite🤣🤣🤣 Trojan OSINT Account: Swift-footed Achilles is moping in his tent again🤣🤣🤣 Magna Gracia OSINT Account: Incredible! Man creates lifelike statue and falls in love with it!

Rose gentians 💜 They're so lorge, and gorgeous. I love them. First couple I've seen this year.

Stop working on pervert glasses and start working on glasses that will let me see the shrimp colors.

I can't be the only one who struggles to do chores when someone else is in the house, yeah? Can't achieve a flow state if I might get talked to.

I can't seem to rotate an image in Instagram, but if I edit the image in my photos app I can't access it anymore when I open Instagram. It's just disappeared from the available options. Anyone know wth to do about that??? Besides take 20 screenshots? 😫

noooo my garden has squash bugs 😭

I'm turning into an inclined bed freak. Tilted sleep shill. Angled bed purist. A mouthpiece for big bendy bed.

accidentally told my kid to swim doggy style in the pool today

Where you'll see a rare bird. Thanks to @ryanfm.bsky.social's newsletter for teaching me about the Cabanis's ground-sparrow that lives behind the walmart

Okay, the demon king attacks you and (rolls dice) just barely misses. He wails in (rolls dice) extreme disappointment. He (rolls dice, shakes head) was never any good at anything, and (rolls dice) it all comes rushing out in a show of bare emotion. (rolls dice) I need a charisma save from all of you

Making Jim Halpert faces as I mix the wet and dry ingredients for some pancakes

I'm sure they get sick of it but I make sure to reiterate this with my kids. It's fine to cheer for the bad guy in a movie but in the real world most evil is done by buffoons whose hand you wouldn't even want to shake, and it looks like crushing helpless people for their benefit.

Him shy (back yard Marpissa lad 🤎) #EmotionalSupportSpood

At one point, Deb Haaland started her own business selling salsa. I asked her why? And she was like, I was a single mom and didn’t have childcare. Selling salsa enabled her to have her daughter with her while she made money.

Absolutely seriously I get so much joy from all the posts/ videos of World Cup visitors coming to the US and being embraced, finding wonder, having fun The US should be that - a light to the world, a community that opens its arms to all

doing mall laps because none of these stores open until ELEVEN AM which is practically in the afternoon

showing up to your first day at your eating toothbrushes job

you want size 6 dresses for work? i've got size 6 dresses for work. you want a clown pillow? i've got a clown pillow. you want my DARE shirt from the year 2000? you can buy that too.

I need to go to sleep but suddenly I'm glued to the phone refreshing the app for updates on scaffolding

Dr Seuss wrote like 60 books but sure let's have another version of the cat in the hat

getting kicked from the chat during jurassic park because i keep saying more like isla fubar

call me crazy I just don't think Marco Rubio should be allowed to watch and enjoy a game played mostly by immigrants he'd just as soon imprison and torture

Is this a good time to mention that every time I see "USMNT" I think of "U.S. Mutant Ninja Turtles"

Tech CEO: AI is *sentient*. AI has a *soul*! And I'm going to make it live in my toilet and do nothing but inspect my poo.

younger trader joes cashier: have you tried these scallion pancakes yet me: (with the terrified sternness of a third grader with one line in the play) It’s Giving Dinner

Just gonna repost this again for emphasis.

wow that’s an amazing drawing of our cat!

european content creators debasing themselves eating gas station food for clicks... yeah the soft power well's not dry just yet

Literally him 🦃

One year after the death of Melissa and Mark Hortman and their dog Gilbert, a new litter of service dogs "Guided by Gilbert" are off with their volunteer families to train to become assistance dogs. Each puppy's name starts with the letter G as a tribute to Gilbert. www.mprnews.org/story/2026/0...