The Strait of Hormuz.

Brilliant… no notes, just brilliant.

I watch the NFL draft like I order wine in a French restaurant. I have no idea who 99% of these dudes are but when they're picked I nod and say, "Oh yeah, he's GOOD!"

this new series is actually disappointing…

The 100th meeting between Alex Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby 👏 📺: /NHL_On_TNT & /StreamOnMax ➡️ https://www.hbomax.com/sports/nhl

They’re never going to stop trolling.

Doctor: Eating cinnamon will help you to lose weight. Me at the bakery: 10 cinnamon rolls, please.

“If they can automatically enroll men into the draft at 18, they can automatically register Americans to vote at 18. Ask yourself why they won’t” Josh H.

All four astronauts standing in the aisle with their roller bags waiting for the door to open.

I could fit at least 5 tents and a smoker in there. Gonna tailgate on the Moon someday

So it turns out paying people a living wage doesn’t collapse the economy; it’s almost like the rich have been lying to us to maintain their power over our lives.

I’ve never been more optimistic about America winning the World Cup. Real chance no one else shows up.

Once again, Snake Plisken is on point.

🤣🤣

Standing on a balcony watching the lines. Very helpful.

Can't argue with that.

mom can you pick me up at the strait of hormuz, my friends are laughing at me and wont help

Europeans when asked to unblock the Strait of Hormuz:

Europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of Hormuz:

Downtown. 53 Blvd of the Allies. Caller said a Porta Potty hit his vehicle. We don’t understand it either but we note the St. Patrick’s Day parade is tomorrow and I’m sure it’s related.

Let there be as much outrage from politicians in Washington when kids go hungry as there is when I break bread with New Yorkers.

🤡🤡

i feel like if i was tasked with not starting a war and bringing back US manufacturing jobs, i could have done a better job than this

Earlier I implied that I escorted yo' momma through the Strait of Hormuz. I apologize for the misinformation. Yo' momma's too fat for such a narrow passageway and whatnot.

How stupid he said.

Spring forward... Fall back... whatever. Can we just pick ONE & stick with it once & for ALL?!!! ⏰

We can afford to care for the sick, but instead choose to bomb the poor.

Coffee, straight out of my nose.

They're going to write books about all the big brain moves of this gang of imbeciles and among them will be "Spending a year trying to kill renewable energy and then launching a war that sends oil prices soaring"

Excuse the bad language, but this is where we are at right now:

At this point, this may be our only hope!!

So. Just politics?

Moskowitz: It's not the galactic senate, just because the emperor says rise doesn't mean I get up. I’m a different branch of government.

Leave it up to Politicians to turn US Men's Hockey Olympic Gold into politics.

Do any Republicans in the chamber last night walk of there last night and think, boy are we fucked???

I think about this tweet every time I feel something online start to curl its annoying little grip into my head

OMG

Read and share all over..he nails it

Someday someone’s gonna try to remake Big Trouble in Little China and it’s gonna be the worst thing you’ve ever seen.

If Weird Al did a parody of your song, congrats on your success. If Weird Al does a original song in your style, congratulations, you are a badass musician who won the approval and admiration of a musician's musician.

😀

Boom!

Not a story you will see many MSM national newspapers leading on. Their owners would never approve.

No lies detected

How the hell did Jon Voight outlive both of his quarterbacks, life is not fair