fulfilled my gay duties (helped bride to be stuff macarons into favor bags for guests)

I am in the middle of nowhere England

have you ever had a really good walk where it feels like your Anne Hathaway in the devil wears Prada outfit montage scene

Sorry that your digestive system isn't strong enough for Taco Bell. That's purely all your fault, not the food's fault

June really has felt like that lady gaga bus club, another club plane bus, no sleep

and before you stick your tongue out in that selfie, make sure that tongue is scraped

was pretty gay last night

And like Miley I can take myself dancing

Muna was right life’s so fun life so fun got my mini skirt and my roller blades on

really good gay guy walk today

did the uk ever see that sears ac commercial? I think that’s what sold everyone in America on it

good afternoon divas

Man who said he was going home showers up two hours later; is this a tell about my make out abilities

playing “a little bit Alexis” at the gay bar

should I go to the bar that is doing a down south US country theme

PamBeasleythey’rethesamepicture.gif

personally think all of the combined stolen artifacts in the British museum have a created a portal to hell which is why it has been the stickiest most humid museum I’ve been to

I've been very clear on this: bsky.app/profile/irri...

who wants to be cremated and who wants to be buried and who wants to be turned into a tree??

Me while traveling: wow this bar is empty Me at home: you want me to go out on a Wednesday???

be honest, do you guys hate me

first bartender did a card payment not asking for tip, but second bartender did upon hearing my accent hashtag deserved tbh

learning longing gay pride is July fourth and like I think America should also extend ours to the fourth

I snorted multiple times it was very unbecoming; Catherine Tate was absolutely fantastic even with a knee injury

Gay guy on his way to “Oh, Mary!” With Catherine Tate

wow you can’t even look at the adult images either

“It’s hot” “It’s heat” etc etc

the photography exhibit at the Victoria and Albert has to be one of my favorite exhibits and reaffirmed why I love it as an art form and form of recorded history

her ass has never been swampier, but also me and who??

slept for 12 hours 👁️🫦👁️

becoming my mother (eating grapes in the hotel bed while watching food network)

so I have truly never felt sweatier in my life, but also all the British men are still in their business casual with genie shirts unbuttoned to like a third button, with nary a pit stain. How is this possible

hey what the fuck

the first shower after a red eye is so reinvigorating

going tarps off in Hyde park so that all the sweat I accumulated on my walk toward my hotel airs out and I don’t look disgusting upon entering Looking unhoused yes

good morning London, you’ve just got a smidge more NJ today

if it’s so important to god that your wife not sit between two men they would have given you the foresight to pay to pick your seat like I did 🤩

spilled a piece of tomato from a veggie wrap on my white shirt :(

Wow wearing a hat when bald really does make you look ten years young (tsa agent asked if I was under 18)

I wish my coworkers showed me the same respect in regards to PTO and long weekends as I do them 🤩

Managed to add another more formal outfit, overpacked 4 lyfe

every post on threads has to be fabricated rage bait to get engagement you mean to tell me you married a man who doesn’t brush his teeth but also - you, yourself have not washed or change the bed linens in five years??

should I choose lasagna or Mac and cheese for my flight tonighv

anytime I see online discussion about the progress pride flag, it is inevitably 90% heterosexual people who don’t know why it was changed all agreeing with the one gay who calls it ugly and I want to go through the phone and smack that one particular gay 🫶

had a very detailed dream that Adam Scott and I were friends and woke up disappointed!!

keir starker resigns the same day I leave, perhaps the UK is ready for a new, swampier prime minister…

i think I’ve done the impossible in getting: two suits, two pairs of shoes, four shorts, five buttons downs, six t shirts, ten underwear, ten socks, two hats, four tanks, a belt and my toiletry bag all in one garment/duffel combo carry on.

being attacked in the DMs

this will be the first time I’m in the UK bald fyi