“NEVER MIND, NEVER MIND, OH FORGET ABOUT; ILL BE GOOD, ILL BE FINE, I CAN LAUGH ABOUT IT”

people who sit and idle their cars!

what else shall I bemoan today

nyc influencers love to be like “there’s this amazing thing an hour from Manhattan” and it will be in NJ

should I respond to the DL, fifty year old side who can’t host that only sends a disappearing face picture

actually, as a gay man, I didn’t know I needed a whole butt routine?? it’s also funny how these ads pretty much showing full ass but my little harlots on their close friends can’t post bulge without getting a story down

manager is very inconsistent with how he chooses to do things which is very frustrating to work with

you’re not the boss of me now and you’re not so big

you’ll know in your heart if you’re in my skircle

I like jem’s artistry

we gotta be a little more creative with quote post prompts people

I saw a fox, red shouldered hawk and a dump truck ass on my run today

very big believe in, if it’s not edible, do not use it to decorate your cake

knowing I need to take a day off for my sanity but also not wanting to have to go to the trouble of finding coverage

wonder if the elgeebiticues from GBBO have explored each others bodies

I can respect an unfollow, but a mute?

maybe the fantavirus will decrease rent amounts

Former potluck review woman peddling disinformation “abortions can be reversed” if you don’t shut your mouth

I don’t care for the term “fridge cigarette”

impossible question to ask since we have so many and span a 15 year age range

it’s gotta be so easy to move through life without sweet tooth

my cat is terrified of balloons which is very funny

this is localswampmother

Donut disappoint mother

I made my mom donuts from a health food blog almost ten years ago and they’re okay donuts, not great donuts, but it’s like the one thing she asks for every year so hear I am cracking open chocolate covered Katie’s cookbook

tell your moms that localswampgay says happy Mother’s Day

the coolest people on the GSP south tonight were me and the one other person who had their hazards on in the fog so thick you’ll couldn’t see a sign until you were five feet from it btw

what’s everyone up to

I’ve been listening to Eastside Girls on repeat since yesterday

have a pimple where my beard meets the part of my neck I shave and it’s a shaving day what’s a girl to do

“Powers restored” with a haircut picture is actually baldphobic :(

take all of Gracie Abrams fame and give it to Maisie Peters

Yes, in the same way that the microwave has made us all chefs.

the funny thing about someone on hinge saying “sorry didn’t reply, I was on the west coast!” Is that I too, was on the west coast at the same time

department head letting us know we only have to come in 2 days a week in the summer when I’ve already only been coming in one day for like the last two months

checking the “popular with friends” tab to figure out who

"LA, Berlin, haircut, safety pin, Detroit, Tokyo - all things astrological, Nashville, London, negroni with a nice gin, Austin, Paris, fuck she’s nonmonogamous"

Care Bear approved

when will celebrities in particular learn that the all or nothing morality does little to make people see their pov and in fact makes them less likely to listen to

none of you bitches have said me yet???? guess you’re not real swampettes and swampbros

if I were in control, people who walk four across on the inner most lanes of a track would be fined

me and who

heal me nilla wafers

heterosexual people are so funny because Reese would 100% learn about Grindr, make an account and then try selling his underwear and socks, but can’t get buyers so starts catfishing as someone else

this is an unpopular opinion but I am in favor of I’ve breakers when you are forcing a new group together, please let me riff off a script

me in the seminar about AI and Data Science today: I can see where this application is useful for *some* tasks and processes, but for my day to day you are essentially telling me to add an extra two or three steps to effectively do what my eyes and reading comprehension are already capable of

It’s not okay to play favorites unless I’m one of the favorites

my head looks like the moon with the amount I am breaking out and i have to be in a bunch of in person meetings today, diva down

Misheard a lyrics as “done staring at the void; been casting with the boys” instead of “spin-casting” and this is all I picture when I listen to the song

Ornithologists: