Astoria the Wild Turkey flaps her mighty wings in The Battery. 🦃 ❤️

When Trump tried to remove FTC Commissioner Rebecca Slaughter, SCOTUS set the case for arguments—but kept Slaughter fired in the meantime. When Trump tried to remove the Fed's Lisa Cook, SCOTUS set the case for argument—but *let Cook keep serving* in the meantime. That difference says a lot.

this is the third time Donald Trump has shut down the government while his party controls both houses of Congress

usually when the gvmt makes the military angry we get military juntas but i think we might be the first ever people to witness what happens when a gvmt just makes the military really fucking sad

Mike Johnson continues to refuse to swear in a Democrat who won in a landslide.

Like, if you were still using it in 2025, you were AOL’s strongest soldier and deserved to have your loyalty rewarded forever.

man they are leaking to the *Intercept* that's how mad some of them are

Nicole Kidman announces her split from Keith Urban and is planning to spend her time doing what she truly loves, making bizarre commercials that play before the movies

This is the thing they'll never understand about "wokeness" or "political correctness" - huge organizations didn't implement these policies because of "cancel culture" or secret communists, they did it to stay competitive and viable. It's what people wanted

republicans vote to shut down the government

Really every American branch of government, civic society institution, and apparently also every American citizen needs to be convinced that Article I exists.

there's this assumption by the admin that there is an infinite supply of buff KKK members ready to fill the ranks of the military and ICE and I have bad news for them both about the overall number of KKK members and their general fitness level

Trying to stop Tracey from going to a Saudi comedy festival is a solid 30 Rock B plot

The Talmud has the original "yo mama" joke. (Megillah 25b:9)

Stress-Free Eric Adams Spends Day Bribing Pigeons In Central Park

lets all just keep in mind that they rolled the old man out there with a teleprompter speech about crushing the enemy within but he kept getting distracted by whining about how stairs are scary

Indiana Offers Tax Breaks To Attract Religious Doomsday Cults http://theonion.com/indiana-offers-tax-breaks-to-attract-religious-doomsday-cults/

Battleships are literally a case study in “preparing for the last war instead of the next one,” everybody spent 30 years building them after World War 1 and within the first month of the Pacific war it was clear they were outmatched The president wants more of them now, in 2025

I will say if that whole military meeting had been an email it would have been a pretty weird email

SecDef, after all, is a difficult job, one which has embarrassed or humbled many of the very capable people who have held it. So Hegseth, far less capable than the least of those men, has decided that he's actually the DoD's sergeant major, a job for which he'd also be unqualified, if it existed.

Hegseth is such a staggering embarrassment. This guy *should* be thinking about the details of Constellation-class procurement, about sourcing production for a few million 155m shells, about the level of the US security commitment in CENTCOM. Instead, he's thinking about push-ups and beards.

I don't think we'll ever get another sentence which sums up everything the New York Times embodies quite like "Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians".

doing it right before they stop getting paid was also a great feat of planning and strategy

so I wake up to find that Hegseth summoned the entire brass to tell them we now protect and revere rapists and war criminals in the US military, followed by Trump holding a mini campaign rally and whining about lack of applause, and this is somehow basically the best case scenario

If Joe Biden were giving this rambling speech, itd be treated as a four alarm fire in every newsroom in the country about his very obvious physical and mental decline. But because its Trump, they'll all mostly just shrug and move past it.

Trump Audibly Counting Non-White Generals

Hungover Hegseth Struggling To Remember How He Ended Up In Room Full Of Generals

What gets me about these so-called Christian warriors is how utterly hostile they are to the idea of being a protector, of the appeal of being someone who follows the rules and protects the innocent even at the cost of their own life.

Joni Ernst’s lifelong legacy for women serving in the military from her time in the Senate is Pete Hegseth. Every woman denied promotion, denied a job specialty, sexually harassed, or forced out for bs reasons, owes it all to Ernst and the Republican Party.

Some kind of attempted coup or purge or loyalty pledge to Dear Leader would be, I mean, way more evil than this, but also significantly less humiliating to everyone involved than whatever that was.

“war is very strange, you never know what’s going to happen with war” - President Trump literally just said this to the assembled generals

pete hegseth, who you will recall has been accused of domestic abuse and sexual assault, has announced a new policy by which you cannot file anonymous complaints of mistreatment. sex criminal solidarity.

Could we please actually focus on the actual fucking conventional conflict in Europe that's been going on for over three years that involves a global adversary of the United States. I need the ADHD-addled spastics in this administration to stop inventing new wars until we're done with current wars.

Luke putting R2 in an enormous bag of rice on Dagobah.

i will admit that it is very funny to imagine generals (and their egos) reading an email telling them they’re being summoned to washington by a fucking guardsman for a lecture on the wArRiOr MiNdSeT

Absolutely. And there has to be a concerted effort to get justice when he is out of power.

my dears, I really don't think that academic papers would be competing online with Fox News headlines and TikTok soundbites if only they were all open access.

bragging about how much gold you’re putting in the oval office while all the economic lights on the dashboard are starting to flash red and the government is about to shut down is some shit that would make the marie antoinette caricature wince

yeah they're just murdering random people on these boats

100% tariff on movies that don't have a character speak the name of the movie out loud at some point.

Okay this one is actually good.

someone threw a beer at Rory McIlroy's wife at the Ryder Cup, I did not know you could get this militant about golf

Guy who believes everything he sees online: “Check out this guy who believes everything he sees on TV!”

I mean yes this is funny, but the fact that these unconstitutional stormtroopers are so directionless that they literally stand around waiting for random nonwhite delivery guys to bike past them is just pathetic. No mandate, no mission, no clue. Just racism.

Donald Trump promised to make America great again and yet Sunday Night Football ends in a tie, like we're European or something.

Visibly disappointed at the cat cafe because I thought the employees would be cats

🏈 GB 40 - 40 DAL FINAL ✅ That's Scorigami!! It's the 1093rd unique final score in NFL history.

Its insane that American politics now more or less revolves around infrequently passing a single comically large overstuffed money bill instead of like... normal legislation

this is quickly becoming a load bearing post for me