Surly Dan
@itsdanimal.bsky.social
📤 1001
📥 517
📝 1063
I think I'm lost
pinned post!
You can have my soul but don't touch my chicken nuggets
about 1 year ago
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Sunday coffee is the best coffee
8 months ago
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You're just jealous because I know the perfect Kool-aid to sugar ratio
8 months ago
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Goes to Starbucks Orders a black coffee
8 months ago
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I'd do some weird shit for a grilled cheese
9 months ago
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Happy Monday, turds!
9 months ago
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Imagine hating me and I'm listening to club hits from 2006 while drinking coffee
about 1 year ago
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The 700 Club turned me into a rebellious youth for replacing my Sunday morning cartoons
about 1 year ago
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Surly Dan
ash
about 1 year ago
Face down ass up . Me picking up a lucky penny.
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Blinky McBlinksalot
about 1 year ago
Me: Hey, babe. You wanna have a threesome? *slowly puts sock puppet on my left hand*
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Surly Dan
mean things I say to myself
about 1 year ago
You can't look serious in a bucket hat so why try
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I'll seduce you with my flannel pajama pants on
about 1 year ago
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Surly Dan
Kiss My Fat Ash 🍑
about 1 year ago
any crocs can be snow crocs if you just wear them in the snow
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Surly Dan
👻SpookyComic💀
about 1 year ago
Mission Impossible theme in my head while I pin this on my mother-in-law’s shawl
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Surly Dan
andy vs.
about 1 year ago
I always ask if it's a "good" baby like they're not gonna lie if it's had 5 exorcisms
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Lizzy
about 1 year ago
Fine I'll get outta bed... ughh!
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flamby ✨🐝🔪
about 1 year ago
could never marry someone with a peanut allergy, the temptation is just too high
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Is it time to start the weekend yet?
about 1 year ago
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Just Call Me Frank
about 1 year ago
Another night spent tossing and turning because I couldn't figure out what to do with my arms.
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RiotGrlErin
about 1 year ago
Dolly PartOn *claps twice* Dolly PartOff
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👻SpookyComic💀
about 1 year ago
The inability to breathe through your nose when you brush your teeth is like inhaling two packs of Newports.
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You can have my soul but don't touch my chicken nuggets
about 1 year ago
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Surly Dan
RiotGrlErin
about 1 year ago
a tanning bed is just a george foreman for cannibals.
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Surly Dan
Canadian Bacon
about 1 year ago
You can turn anything into a milkshake if your blender is strong enough.
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Queen Beast
about 1 year ago
My eyes just rolled so far back in my head that I saw my own ass.
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Surly Dan
👻SpookyComic💀
about 1 year ago
🎬 1,031 but it’s just another selfie
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Surly Dan
Sunshine
about 1 year ago
Wheel of Fortune but it’s just a cheese wheel I’m tryna stuff old Chinese food fortunes into
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Taking thirst traps in my long underwear
about 1 year ago
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Hopefully, my Limewire downloads from 2005 finish today
about 1 year ago
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I put a hair net on my bush. You're welcome!
about 1 year ago
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Surly Dan
Jason, ex Inferis
about 1 year ago
I bet mead drunk at 1 am at the tavern hit when the minstrel play that banger
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ⲙⲓ𝛓ⲧⲩ 🇨🇦
about 1 year ago
Until further notice all my social skills will be replaced with armpit farts.
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The last time I had sex Afro Man was on the Billboards Top 100
about 1 year ago
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Surly Dan
Cat-astrophe 💙
about 1 year ago
If you show your butt at Mardis Gras, they throw anal beads at you ... Nice catch!
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Sup
about 1 year ago
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Surly Dan
Canadian Bacon
about 1 year ago
A pickle for your problems
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Goodbye long hair
about 1 year ago
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Blinky McBlinksalot
about 1 year ago
🎵ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS [ₐ ᵦᵢ𝓰 ₜᵢₜₜᵧ 𝓰ₒₜₕ 𝓰ᵢᵣₗ𝒻ᵣᵢₑₙ𝒹] YOOOOUUUUU🎵
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Surly Dan
andy vs.
about 1 year ago
I stole my therapist's notebook and every page is just those cool S shapes from the 90s
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Surly Dan
mean things I say to myself
about 1 year ago
I get it, my enthusiasm can be overwhelming
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Frän
about 1 year ago
I'm not Danish but I'm still tasty
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dr Quinn, medicine weirdo
about 1 year ago
Krampus gonna get you
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Surly Dan
Blinky McBlinksalot
about 1 year ago
Reverse cowgirl so I don't have to share my Reese's trees
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Coffee tastes better alone and without pants on
about 1 year ago
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Surly Dan
Seann
about 1 year ago
“We, the men on BlueSky of the interwebs, do hereby seek petition to formally declare the act of not wearing a bra as ‘Free Bouncing’, and furthermore would say this becomes the social norm for slang in this circumstance.” ~Sincerely, Dan & Seann
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Not wearing a bra should be called free bouncing
about 1 year ago
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