Daylight Saving Time is increasingly hard to notice when my digital devices are like, "What? Nothing happened. We know what time it is." And my stove is left blinking and screaming, "IT HAPPENED! TIME SHIFTED UNNATURALLY! THEY'RE ALL LYING! ONLY I KNOW! ONLY I REMEMBER!"

Twerkers at the barbeque get priority parking 🫡

Ask not for whom the looks maxx, they maxx for he

don’t forget to destroy your clocks tonight, walk away from your mortgage, just start driving, you’re free

A voluntary scheme designed to breed healthier dogs somehow became a story about banning your pets. And then immediately morphed into a conspiracy about Muslims... And yes, John Cleese fell for it 🙄 And that says far more about the Right and Far-Right media ecosystem than it does about dogs

Wonderful breakdown!!! The scariest part of these misrepresented stats is that they drive they idea that these beliefs are common and normal, which itself makes people more likely to align with them!!! It's a blight on every journalist who reported this uncritically

Keep misremembering the Looksmaxxing guy's name as "Chanticleer", like a jovial rooster from a mediaeval ballad

The animal kingdom is furthering its plans to unite and dethrone humanity

Not seen: A farmer with a boat and a bag of grain scrumpling up his plans and throwing them away in a tearful fit of defeated pique

I enjoy how she’s like “ugh, the fucking bees AGAIN”

There may be a time when you are drifting off to sleep when you suddenly sit bolt upright with the realization that the missing ecological puzzle piece essential for proper global ecosystem function is elephants.

First they came for the trans people, and I said nothing because I wasn’t trans. Then they were like actually I’m pretty sure you are trans and I said no I’m not and they went okay well show us your penis then and I said what no get out of my face and they said that one’s a girl get her

Was not prepared for the haunted / threatening aura of Finland's ??official??? "Learn Finnish" site

The Poet Laureate of the UK is famous for his translation of St Gawain and the Green Knight, and Kym once got up on stage, looked him straight in the eye, and then performed this. Unsurprisingly enough, every time they've encountered each other since, he's remembered them.

this picture accurately depicts exactly what it feels like to speak Finnish

there are like 50 people in the country who want the UK to get involved in the Iran War, one of them is Kemi Badenoch, one of them is Nigel Farage, and the other 48 are newspaper columnists

Quite something to do "what if Putin was gay?" but to Farage with the actually gay leader of a party that stands for the exact opposite of what he does.

Toying with a silly little break to Finland

"our main target is golf courses" www.standard.co.uk/news/london/...

Oh no I've rediscovered CK3 👀

I keep wishing for the return of Geocities, a place where you could put a button that just buttoned or obnoxious bright flashing words or where it was acceptable to put black text on a dark grey background and think 'yeah, that'll do'. Gosh I loved Geocities. What a mess of a place it was.

I was nearly mugged in Barcelona but they were chased off by the English senior hockey team

I’m having a wonderful time taking Telegraph articles about the Greens and changing the photos.

On my Starmer arc because I'm breaking a pledge and doing a quick politics video, but I promise it's for a good reason. Which is that no, the Greens didn't win that by-election because of Sectarianism, what are you on about? youtu.be/EmMOhb2cbEI

Did you see this headline? Did you feel the requisite anger and rage at asylum seekers that The Sun was asking of you? Did you maybe blame Starmer because.... um... it was probably his fault🤷‍♀️ Would you like to know the reality behind the headline? Course you would!😜 Let's take a look 🧵 1/25

A useful guide to different forms of horror. 1. Urban horror. "Eew. There's something horrid in this underpass. I know what you're thinking but I mean unusually horrid." 2. Folk horror. "Eew. There's something horrid in this wood. Inbreeding. Also, I am being ganked by corn dollies."

Jansen Ganesh is on fire in this column on the UK’s role in the Iran conflict www.ft.com/content/eaee...

feels like we maybe should revisit the idea that Geronimo the alpaca may have put a curse on Starmer

🚨 OUT NOW 🚨 Green joy and Nigel Farage clutching at more straws than a masturbating scarecrow… It’s only a brand new juicy Trawl episode, ready for your listening pleasure! Come join us 👇🏾 podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/t...

Rent free

please enjoy these classic Moon Tweets™

Proudly co-sponsoring the "INFLUENCERS LEARN TO USE YOUR BLOODY MICS PROPERLY" campaign alongside @brainmage.bsky.social

STEP OUT INTO THE SPRING LIGHT AND EAT A MAGNOLIA FLOWER DIRECTLY OFFOF THE TREE

The only winning move is not to play

trickle down economics is bull shit and if you believe it then you are stupid. great replacement is bull shit and if you believe it then you are racist. vaccines are safe and effective and if you believe otherwise you should be shunned from society

theyre just all so fucking stupid and we were told we had to be respectful and treat their stupid fucking opinions seriously even though we knew its all bull shit and now here we are

No matter where you are, the leopards will find you.

Our rich and powerful are doom-seeking nihilists who live their entire lives focused on the simulacrum they see in their numbers rather than the reality they inhabit

you are not prepared for the soundtrack

It's always "trying to bring about the rapture" and never the part of the bible about eliminating all debts. If they were really serious about biblical teachings all loans (including credit card debt) would be wiped at the end of seven years

"We called London a war zone and moved to Dubai by mistake"

new Mary Oliver poem just dropped

And they keep saying Bluesky doesn’t have the juice…

RIP “I feel liberated. We can say ‘retard’ and ‘pussy’ without the fear of getting cancelled . . . it’s a new dawn.” - you had a great run as the best quote in the FT from people who really would benefit from reading the FT, there's a new sheriff in town.

This is just to say I am trapped In Dubai While my Labradoodles Are sick Forgive me My Mounjaro pen Is in the ice box So crisp And so cold

For all of you concerned about your holidays 🙄