amazing this is not a skit

BREAKING: Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes have withdrawn from the Freedom 250 Celebration

3yo came downstairs this morning chanting “GREEN DAY. GREEN DAY. GREEN DAY.” He had decided to wear all green. I’ve had the Longview bass line in my head all day.

BREAKING: Mouse Rat has withdrawn from the Freedom 250 Celebration.

what a fuckin take

All eyes on New Jersey. Minnesota stands in solidarity. ABOLISH ICE EVERYWHERE

Jo: I can’t I can’t I’ve tried it and I’ve failed

Lmao calm down Sephiroth

yeah you gotta willie horton ken paxton. have the party committees and super pacs run ads explicitly accusing paxton of covering up for a child abuser. “you love your children and would do anything to protect them. so why would you vote for a man who lets child abusers run free”

My new book is out in the UK and will come to the US in the fall. Grateful for this review. www.theguardian.com/books/2026/m...

That record stood for 115 years. Think of all of the great pitchers the Phillies have had over that span. And none of them accomplished what Cristopher Sánchez just did

my timeline rn

if you’re like me and somehow never saw the JJ Putz thing, here you go. it is amazing.

These are the two optimal types of Baseball Name.

aw fuck

when another team throws a combined no-hitter: oh your bullpen did its job? sure when my team throws a combined no-hitter: well actually if you think about it its even harder than a normal one

If I were a Senator who was tear-gassed by ICE, I would spend every hour of the rest of my time in office figuring out new ways to abolish ICE.

EVERYONE STOP. Briefly marvel at the fantastic craftsmanship of this handsome terracotta pig!

Kafka's The Trial

People really struggle with this concept but: How will you prove YOU deserve due process if you aren’t afforded due process?

i’m gonna spend the rest of my life muttering “whale is important” i fear

I’m inclined to say the answer to this one is a yes

Mike Mulligan is a mess

also worth discussing how the entire country treats DC

*commonwealth

Abraham Lincoln Sees Most of Play

YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK

The existence of a Karl Urban suggests the existence of a Karl Rural.

just bought All Day on vinyl and i'm very tempted to go right back to the same store this weekend and pick up Night Ripper

[usher voice] happy posting xbox

BREAKING: Judge Waverly Crenshaw dismisses indictment of Kilmar Abrego Garcia based on selective and vindictive prosecution. storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

ribbit rocks

ABOLISH THE DEATH PENALTY

Let's make billionaires pay their fair share and find out

Legitimately crying at how funny this is. I am EXTREMELY excited about the possibility that Shaq and Chuck are about to learn about I Think You Should Leave. I would pay $1,000 dollars to watch them watch "Coffin Flop" live.

55 POINTS 55 REBOUNDS 55 ASSISTS 55 BLOCKS

WHAT IF ELECTIONS FELT GOOD

CHRIS RABB LETS GO

inside you there are two wolves:

Happy Election Day!

He reads the silly post He reads the scoldy post He reads the jokey post And the pedantic post He reads the posts that remind him of the bad site He reads the posts that remind him of the worst site Don’t screenshot that, troll behavior

RFK jr is your legacy bill

You can sign up for a Pollworker Q&A Zoom meeting tonight from 6:00-7:00pm. events.ticketleap.com/tickets/comm...

The City of Philadelphia urgently needs pollworkers for tomorrow's primary election (Tuesday, May 19). Must be a city resident 17 or older. Must be available for the full day, 6:00am to about 9:00pm. Pay is $200 for the day, plus $50 if you complete online training. docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...

always grateful for the best one-stop MLB newsletter highlighting [eyeblack]. this time, our series on the women who claim the league failed to investigate their domestic violence allegations against a player. ty @craigcalcaterra.bsky.social www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...

critically this was the case in 1870 when the 15th amendment was ratified! there is literally no such thing as partisan gerrymandering and manipulation of voting rules in the south outside of the context of “white reactionaries want to neuter black political power”

goddammit. someone stole my wallet and bought a racing sim wheel. they shipped it directly to my fucking house. humiliating. well, I can’t return it,

Every week or so I think about the fact that the cops/government shot a white man, Alex Pretti, in cold blood and nothing has happened to his murderers. The murderers still have their jobs and the unarmed white man is a cautionary tale for white people to not challenge the white supremacist state.