The murder of Charlie Kirk was criminal, wrong, and should be condemned. And Charlie Kirk was a horrible, hateful man who spent his life radicalizing young people to embrace their worst demons by targeting women, people of color, immigrants, and the marginalized. I refuse to sanitize him.

And today’s billionaire bullshit:

Television legend Stephen Colbert has just signed a $13.5 million deal with Netflix for a 7-episode series.

This summer has been a shit show. Bring on the Fall.

you can't throw a rock in america without hitting some troglodytic religious weirdo trying to control other people's bodies and that's why we should throw a lot more rocks

I was just listening to Kermit and Barbra Streisand’s duet of “Rainbow Connection”. I want a nice life, I want joy, I want kindness and love between us all. I’m tired of the hate. Listen to the song and try to remember what that feels like. 🐸

Don’t really appreciate your tone

"There was gunpowder on my neck." A 10 yo who said the bullets went right past him. MEDIA- PAY ATTENTION. YOU DO NOT PUT A CHILD WHO HAS "Gunpowder on his neck." On TV to win a rating. NO. NO. NO. SHAME ON YOU. There is no excuse for putting a traumatized CHILD on TV.

"Pat, why do you carry that ridiculous 600mm lens on long hikes?" Buddy, I can see mountains reflected in the eyes of a trailside pika.

DO NOT PUT CHILDREN ON TV TALKING ABOUT A SHOOTING THEY JUST LIVED THROUGH The media who do this are heartless bastards

Peak boomer is typing a message into the email subject line

(heard at human-inventing committee meeting) just hear me out, convert coffee into anxiety and convert lack of coffee into even more anxiety

(inventing humans) ok how can we convert coffee into anxiety

*most depressed I’ve ever been* Pepsi is fine.

Meet Uni’s new coworker! :3

I should probably unload this beanie baby collection before the rapture.

Find your inner Audrey Good morning Blue Sky

your futures so bright you gotta wear shades. and ear plugs, you want tinnitus?

I AM SHRIEKING 💀🤣 Forget the statue at City Hall, this guy is the *real* Spirit of Detroit. 🫡

When I’m struggling, I’ve learned to set small, attainable goals. So this week I will: - drink more water - eat more cookies - sleep even less - diarrhea

You guys see a butterfly too right?

*Hugs my Americans*

It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this

We’ve bombed Iran. And dismantled our joint terrorism task force. And sent a third of the FBI to help ICE. And gutted the National Security Council. And a drunk guy is in charge at the pentagon. And our intelligence allies probably won’t share intel with us. Because people couldn’t vote for a woman.

@mediocrecoder.bsky.social This made me think of you 😂

No swearing on the Lord's day

I just poured myself a drink. It’s gonna be a long game at this rate. 🧡💙 WE WANT THE CUP FFS OILERS

Good morning Skywalkers! Happy Father's Day to all my fellow Dad's out there. Hope you guys get a nice relaxing day. It's funny when you think about it, all we really want is to be left alone to do whatever. The serenity. Fuck, why are we still talking? I'm out. Cheers 🍻

“Not everything I say makes sense” he grossly understated.

I think it would be good to get some women in charge of the countries that have nuclear weapons. Women talk to each other. Women can be reasonable. Enough with the macho men and swinging dicks.

she died how she lived, being vaguely nervous

At this point, I'm more coffee than woman.

I love when my tv asks if I’m still there, like do you mean physically or mentally?

The older you get, the more you choose quietness over arguments and distance over disrespect. Drama becomes intolerable, and your peace becomes your highest priority. You start surrounding yourself with people who are good for your mental health, heart, and soul.

Please share. Let’s find a home for Rashan!

When I take Unisom, I turn into a flat-earther.

Your morning moment of zen.

Some good news for murderers, unfortunately. LAPD Detective Stacey Szymchowiak is retiring after 29 years. She is everything you want in a homicide detective and hundreds of victims’ families already know that, in the part of LA where all the murders happen but none of the coverage.

Only murders in the building but the building is a crow sanctuary so it's actually a good thing

the need for the inclusion of the graphic is a sad reminder of the shockingly low literacy rate among geese

Conflicted: I love playing baseball. Yet I also love crying.

Immediately after getting out of the car.

Oh, your life has gone exactly as you planned? Eat a dick.

I took the day off again today because I’ll be fucked if I’m working right through the apocalypse