Awwww… I’m jealous! I would absolutely take care of some baby batlets. 🥹♥️

Oh I’ll just say it: bash the fash down with kings. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Seriously, you wanted this, don’t blame me for “making it weird” you already did that.

We punch the Nazis REAL HARD and then we pet the kitties.

Jason: “God. You give a guy a couple life changing orgasms and next thing you know he’s like rabid animal trying to get your pants off” Me: DRIVE 200 MILES UP I-35 THIS INSTANT AND THEN STRIP NAKED SO I CAN TURN YOU INSIDE OUT LIKE A DIRTY SOCK

Yeah? Weirdly? I was born and raised in Lubbock, which is a very conservative place. There’s a church 1/8 of a mile in city limits. Look it up, you don’t need to take my word for it—but now they have a Pride festival and a they actually sell booze there— things are changing! And it’s wonderful!

Actually? This raises a question. When did you first get a good looking at the District? For me it was summer of 1986. And I fell in love with the place right then and there. We toured the White House, the Capitol and the National Cathedral— and it was absolutely everything.

Obviously I want everyone to be okay, but this is not surprising to me. I’ve been in the District many a summer, and you have to plan for it. Water, a cooling towel around your neck, it’s not something you just do willy-nilly!

Y’all— having an online discussion with a Houston anarchist collective? BECAUSE A LUBBOCK ANARCHIST COLLECTIVE TOLD THEM ABOUT ME??? y’all. This is the future @margaret.bsky.social and I planned for but we never thought we’d see.

Did you know she stands on broken chains? 🥹 We must remember this message.

This is the post where I found out that The Telegraph blocked me, which I find REALLY FUNNY. I mean , they would, wouldn’t they? 🤣🤣🤣

On the eve of Independence Day, I find very little to be proud of. But I do quite love Lady Liberty and the world wide welcome she holds. I think that’s quite beautiful

Me talking about Catholic saints like they’re in my book club. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Me: “I talked to Frankie about your dog, she’ll be fine” Friend: “Who’s Frankie, what are you talking about??” Me: “YOU KNOW, St Francis of Assisi! Frankie says your doglet is gonna be okay. He knows about these things.”

Okay first of all how dare you 😭😭😭 youtube.com/shorts/0bm3p...

Looking through some photos, I found this my old @ on the bad site was @seneca

Y’all remember when I said my friend Maggie was way better than me and a decade younger? Well here’s further proof.

Miss Dolly is a national treasure

Look, Mayor Mamdani is doing the work that the Prophet ﷺ and Christ commanded. I checked the Gospel and the Quran. It’s literally in there. How is this a problem for people.

I have a new goal.

You wanna know what the worst part of being crippled is? When you wake up from a nap and you forget you can’t do that nonsense anymore.

The GRANDEST of Naguses. (Sorry Rom)

Ugh why are RHCP playing in my head rn 😭 youtu.be/8DyziWtkfBw?...

Me: *sending a text to a Catholic friend* Happy Feast of the Doubter who Learned. She: OH DO YOU MEAN THOMAS, LET ME TELL YOU A FEW THINGS ABOUT HIM …😑 Y’all. This is PRECISELY why I love being Catholic, we have something called the Communion of Saints. Meaning our saints are here and working.

Oh did y’all know they sell Chamoy by the gallon here?

This is how you trap me in the kitchen forever. This right here.

Me: I’m absolutely not having this whole Jason-less existence, it’s awful and I hate it. He: You did it for forty-some years before you met me Me: Well that’s before I knew better

Even Donny from Queens (and that’s all he’ll ever be) can’t save it. 🤣

Him: *casts Dorothy Zbornak shade* Me: I see you Dorothy and I raise you one. MAY YOUR SAUCE NEVER CLING TO YOUR PASTA

Look y’all. When you find out that your loved one loves something, you encourage that. For example: Jason loved dinosaurs. So he gets Dinosaurs. There’s no question or hesitation about it, he likes ‘em he gets’em.

Real talk: what song TAKES YOU BACK THERE the second you hear it. For me it’s “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga. It’s New Year’s Eve, I’m in Sydney on Oxford Street and it’s the best place in the universe to be. 🥹♥️ youtu.be/qrO4YZeyl0I?...

This is usually how I decide to love people. 🥹♥️

There’s many reasons to be mad at Saul of Tarsus, but I suppose his Damascene Road “incident” isn’t a bad thing. 🥹♥️

I tried to get my Da into bread baking, but he just didn’t take to it. I did have a lot of fun making it with him, though. I love you and miss you, Da.

Oof. 🤦🏻‍♂️

For all of us who Doubt— today’s our day. It’s the feast of Thomas the Apostle, the doubter. It’s fine to be unsure. And God wants us to KNOW, rather than simply accept. I still have moments of Doubt. And that’s how it goes. We’re only human.

Kernow really is just a lovely place. 🥹 That whole quadrant of the Sceptered Isle, really, it’s just beautiful isn’t it.

So I have a friend, he’s a former conductor, actually (so I automatically call him “maestro” in English), and he’s just moved to Sevilla, and is learning Spanish for the first time. And he is just learning all the Spanish idioms we as Tejano kids said around him and yalllllll

It's a VERY American thing! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jus_soli

Friend: “Chris, what’s the deal with The St. Pius X Society?” Me, only a half-trained Jesuit but I showed up for the part where they told us we were God’s Malinois: “Okay what you have to understand first about these heretics is that they’re wrong. Now in this essay I will…” And then I did.

3 seconds earlier...

Aquello sindicato ¿eh? 🤦🏻‍♂️

In the interests of better Canadian/American relations, Lay’s is now selling all-dressed chips here in the United States. And because I cherish our relationship with the True North Strong and Free, I bought some. Assessment to follow.

Honest question, y’all: when your combing back your wet hair in order to part it properly, do you make a weird face too? I just noticed that I do this; please tell me it isn’t just me!

Okay so watching the fútbol just made me think of this and now all y’all have to suffer with me. Announcer: “Forward pass intercepted” Me, Pavlovianly: “Looks like your pussy’s gonna be neglected” 😆 youtu.be/mWwEEAnSO5U?...

I’d actually put up with a lot from him if he keeps giving me that [censored] and that thick [redacted] and that thing he does with his [not for your eyes] to my [you dirty bird you] especially when I’m freshly showered. Fortunately he never gives me any grief— but don’t tell HIM that! 😆

He’s so mean to me. 😆

Y’all I am TEARING UP, this is how things are supposed to be, and Mayor Mamdani made it happen. 🥹♥️😭

What the scrotum of Zeus is this nonsense

Close 2nd, also from today. I mean, at least I know wtf I'm getting with the Joker. What the shit is all this?

This is infringing my free speech. Please share the elf