my scientists say to me, mr president, we got the best medbeds in the world. i saw on tv they recreated a woman from just her hand. beautiful woman by the way, it’s amazing what science can do. then the channel switched to a loud talk show host on a cruise. i didn’t care for him

Beekeeper implies the existence of a much more terrifying Beegiver

Me: Can I have one of those blue milkshakes that symbolizes Grimace’s blood? McDonalds Cashier: (offended) We believe every beverage symbolizes Grimace’s blood

I met 2 donkeys today. Wonderful creatures. Wish I were more like them.

once again tapping the sign

*crab-walked

Actually, Frankenstein is a doctor success at the Venice film festival

Can’t stop thinking about my neighbor’s garage door

The heat is on. It is officially Fall.

President Bill Clinton watched the movie High Fidelity (2000) at the White House on August 21, 2000.

haters....our time is near....

This is the playbook to follow.

My death foretold.

There are seven types of people on social media.

interesting that this site is called blue sky…blue being the very color of the sky above nazi germany

it is deeply mentally and spiritually fracturing to be very aware that the global ruling class is, for all intents and purposes, suicidal (and by extension homicidal) while you, an ordinary human being, want to perpetuate life.

SimCity 2000 - Archology

On that bog body skin regimen.

An executive for The Masked Singer snorts an entire rail in one go and prepares to make the pitch of his life

you have my vote, Andrew Cuomo!

those damned outdoor pigs can't keep getting away with this

my "there is no poop fairy" sign has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shit

i saw a guy on here asking people what they thought was the GREATEST OF ALL TIME tv show and i cant think of anything better than weather channel local on the 8s

Godsmack announce the death of Osama Bin Laden, perform “I Stand Alone,” six hours before the White House confirmed at Beale Street Music Fest in Memphis, Tennessee (2011)

Shouldn’t it be “iced” cream?

110% tax on all income over $200k

Thinking about Kmart lunch and how much I want to eat it.

Happy 15th anniversary of the peak achievement of literary criticism, to all who celebrate

I'm drinking the Bios Crash slurpee I hope it crashes my bios I hope I blue screen

The country music tendency to rhyme armadillo with amarillo.

There will be 14 more of these.

No way I would still be a burden.

Dot Grinder is a hell of a name.

In England they call it vocal chip

they say it’s the most beautiful 9 word sentence in the english language

South Korean advertising stays on another level

Why are they they fighting Zohran harder than they’re fighting Trump

Beautiful summer morning.

Every “free speech” comedian should use their platform to say that the government nudging corporations to cancel shows is fascistic an actual cancel culture But sadly you fucks are cowards

does he deserve to be fired for conflicts of interest and legal risks associated with balling one's direct reports? as a layman i leave that to experts on in-house law and corporate compliance. does he deserve to be fired for panicking under pressure? as a dealsman i cannot tolerate that in a ceo

I hate when someone unearths my pube-autograph to the world's most famous pedophile while I'm dying of cankles