I miss the days when you could get hammered on New Year's Eve and play really shitty in a first division fixture the next day without anyone really giving a shit.

“Hey! I got one! I got one!”

Just finished When Harry Met Sally...

R.I.P. 2025 (2025 - 2025)

pound for pound this might be the funniest thing ever written

The final Calvin and Hobbes, which appeared in papers 30 years ago today.

For the past few years each January I’ve chosen a new spot in Epping Forest to take a regular photo to mark time. Here’s 2025, an odd year of personal stasis, and distress at the state of the UK and world, with a sense of looming doom. Oh well! There is always love & hope’s thin gruel. Chin chin!

It's really weird that a country founded on disestablishment uses religious texts to confirm its leaders.

Dick Poop

Going around the world listening to people tell their stories of the zombie apocalypse.

This from @vizcomic.bsky.social will never get old.

Sir Stringer Bell

Nigel Blackwell of HMHB once came to ours for advice from my daughter on getting rid of water in his ear whilst swimming . We couldnt get rid of him for hours .

Oh shit, they're all coming back now. Told David Gedge he was a twat at a Umist concert way, way, back in the day, then got a dirty look off him when I tried to apologize as he was signing my merch in San Francisco in the early 2000s..

I've got another one! Met @jonronson.bsky.social in the Brickhouse bathroom one night and Craig Cash at the back of the Man From Delmonte concert. Looking forward to meeting Neil Cossar for the KFM trifecta.

Once took a piss in the urinal next to Tommy Docherty. The same day I sat in the row behind Michael Knighton. Oldham Vs Forest, League cup final 1991(?)

This, combined with "vice signaling" (taking pride in antisocial behavior) has given us the reign of the Stupid Asshole, something most people are against, but can only be remedied if we're not too polite to talk about it

Sky's the limit tomorrow!

PSA

7.45pm

7 minutes for Putin to dictate his instructions, one hour 53 minutes for idiot boy to figure out how to write them down with his crayons.

It’s not real. One of the ways you can tell is that it’s not a punchline. Anyone who tries to improve on Peanuts (or Calvin and Hobbes etc) by slapping their own inspo memes over the text — I’m begging you to make your own comics because this was already perfection: www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1990...

Fascist celebrity traitors really sucks.

It's always a smart idea to check in with your boss after a strategy meeting

REALLY? A *CIRCUS*?

i probably worry too much about being bitten on the testicles by twelve foot python that came up through my toilet for a man who lives in toronto canada

Historians: Quibbling Over Exact Definition Of Concentration Camp Sign Of Healthy Society https://theonion.com/historians-quibbling-over-exact-definition-of-concentration-camp-sign-of-healthy-society/

Dear Roy, Before Christmas you had a Wheelie Bin pinched. I have just had a Satellite Dish taken from my garden. I used this as a Parabolic Reflector for recording Birdsong. So if anyone sees this at a car boot sale, be careful as it may be Radioactive.

That Alan Kurdi picture still breaks me.

Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

No idea how United won that.

Vibes

Has Amorin got a bet on?

I saw someone say if you put Dalot's brain into a horse, it would bark, and I can't stop laughing

12YO girl signed up to do “stand up comedy” at the talent show. 13YO boy decided to heckle her. Teacher started to tell the boy to leave her alone, but the 12YO comedian said “no, no, let him go, this is the closest he’s ever going to get to having a conversation with a girl.”

It's actually quite difficult to break into the nitrous oxide vault, but once you're in you're laughing

Current holder of the FIFA peace prize.

in other news : this is the news article you need to read today. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Just put on some festive music.

Well they're not lying are they? I bet the biggest blue whale gets called "Big Whale" by his pals.

“These little ones are mice. … These over here are hamsters. … Ooh! This must be a gerbil!”

It really is about the notes you don’t play

I think everyone needs to see this important video.

Boom. Fuck you pal. I AM Christmas.

In 2023 I became obsessed with videos of dads in cargo shortswaiting in parking lots during Taylor Swift's Eras Tour. So when she came to town, I grabbed a camera and headed down to talk to them. I thought it'd be funny. It turned out to be something else entirely.

Mort de Ken Downie, fondateur de The Black Dog et pionnier secret de la techno anglaise