Someone said Marks and Spencers and I regret to inform you all they were right, and I'm now so old I'm shopping at M&S

Hanging on by a thread and being saved by Last One Laughing

On my way into work a woman asked me if i had £3, I said no sorry I don't carry cash, and she just went BITCH in my face 😂 Never change, Manchester

10/10 would eat again

All your fault this

The Gorton and Denton result is fantastic for several reasons, but easily the funniest one is that the Tories got so few votes that they LOST THEIR DEPOSIT.

I know I'm quite tall but all womens tops seem to be cropped these days and I'm running out of places to shop. Is this fashion now 😂

4 stone down in 6 months, literally didn't think it was possible with my PCOS...and I still get to eat mini eggs 🤯😂

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

If Onana had made a mistake like Lammens did last night, he'd have been a wreck and let about 5 in. But not our boy Senne 😎

Oh, the grand old duke of york He ██████████████████ He ██████████████████ And he ██████████████████

Sorry I'm late I BET HE'S SWEATING NOW etc etc, just pretend I was here the whole time

People who walk past my dogs and don't smile at them can fuck off

There's no greater drain on resources than a useless billionaire that doesn't pay taxes but wants government handouts.

Ah, great, Jim Ratcliffe isn't just a tosser but also a huge racist

Match of the Day 4 weeks in a row!!!

What a man.

Just this, all the time

EVERY DAY

I can't remember the last time I was warm enough. I'm so cold all the time

I see beating Arsenal isn't for everyone 🤷‍♀️

Fucking QUEEN, fuck this noise

this scene lives rent-free in my head, and it's not even in like, her top 10. man. www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVoj...

Hannah is the Green Party candidate for Gorton and Denton. She is also a plumber and dog rescuer🐕💪

Northern trains are beyond incompetent. 5 trains cancelled so they send one train with two carriages to replace it 🤡

Michael fucking Carrick 😍😍😍

For Jim Moir/Vic Reeves' birthday, a reminder it's thirty years this year since this advert.

Didn't think I'd be so sad about Casemiro going 😂

🤩 a big eff off to anyone doubting him there

Great to see Lucy & Yak getting absolute pelters on their social media posts. You can't build a brand around how 'inclusive' you are then remove the largest size. As much as I've loved wearing their clothes, I won't shop with them again now.

👀 we'll take that

If I was Guardiola I would simply sign more players

Need Burnley to pull off a mad one now

Just this, all the time

Manchester United stay onside challenge

I am so so sick of Dalot

Hahaha this has made my day

Now I've had a few days to see how I'd react, can confirm microneedling is a 10/10 treatment No I wasn't numbed, so it didn't feel great, but my skin feels and looks amazing now 🥰

I'm really struggling to get out of bed this winter. I don't think its depression or anything but the cold and dark is getting to me 🫠

There isn't a single person out there who loves Michael Carrick more than I do. Even his wife.

Best thing I've seen in a long time

1) that is not how it starts 2) you got the words wrong

Could never be mad at Welbeck. Oh well, less games to sit through 🥳

My toxic trait is complaining that my stomach hurts but convincing myself it has nothing to do with the 2 coffees and 1 matcha I had today

So is this guy 😍

He's coming home lads 😍

People who stop taking blood pressure medication regain high blood pressure, study reveals 🤡